All Again
by pitterpat87
Summary: When tragedy strikes, Piper Chapman is left to pick up the pieces. Alone and newly single, she starts to regret mistakes from her past and longs to be with the one she would do it all again for
1. Regret

**I've had a major case of writer's block for a long time, but the opportunity for a Vauseman story seems to have cured the block for the time being. Hope you all enjoy the first chapter and I will more than happy to receive positive or constructive criticism. It always nice to hear what I'm doing well and what I can improve so type away ;) I apologise if there are any errors. I have been back and checked through but something wrong always manages to sneak in. Thanks for reading**

"Hey, its okay little man, I'm here," cooed an exhausted Piper Chapman.

She reached out her hand and gently stroked the young baby's face, using her other to gently rock the crib.

No matter what she did, she just couldn't get her godson to stop crying. She had checked his diaper, fed him his bottle, cuddled him and done whatever else the internet search engine had suggested. Despite her efforts, he still wasn't happy.

There were no two ways about it. She knew what he really wanted and it broke Piper's heart to know that she couldn't give him it. Finn wanted the person who had brought him into this world - his mommy. Unfortunately, fate had decided that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

"C'mon Finny. Give a girl a break," she pleaded, close to joining in on his crying fest.

As if aware of the distress his relentless wailing was causing, his tears started to subside and Piper gradually stopped the rocking motion of his bed. She grabbed the spare baby monitor from the shelf and closed over the door. Not that she needed the monitor to hear his cries anyway. She could hear him all over the house. It was when he didn't cry that she would worry. Upon reaching the bottom stair, Piper brought the device up to her ear and listened intently for Finn's breathing. Satisfied she could hear the tiny breaths, the blonde carried on through to the living room and allowed herself to fall back onto the couch.

Piper wasn't used to this much responsibility and didn't know the first thing about raising a child, let alone one so young. Ever since he was born 3 months ago, she had watched how best friend Polly had interacted with her son. She was a natural. If Piper had known how much she was going to be involved with Finn, she would have observed more closely and even taken notes. She had always prided herself on being a good student.

She knew the basics, it was just the other stuff she wasn't prepared for. She knew how to feed him and wind him, but other than that she was up shit creek. She was so accustomed to just handing him straight back to Pete or Polly and leaving them to work their magic on him. Even though it had only been 2 weeks, Piper was still in shock that she was in charge of something so precious. Whenever she got a moment to herself, like the one she currently found herself having, her thoughts would flash back to the day her life became about more than just her.

She had been holidaying in Spain when it happened. She was determined to be as far away from New York as possible. Her 'Little Getaway' she called it. Having just come out of a stressful long term relationship, she had needed an escape from reality even if it was only for a week. It was on day two of her break that she received _that_ phone call.

Relaxing by the pool of her hotel room, Piper stretched out her legs in front of her and lifted the straw of her cocktail pitcher to her mouth. She smacked her lips together as the Margarita hit just the right spot.

"I could get used to this life," she sighed with contentment, laying back onto her sun lounger and soaking up the rays of the sun.

Even through closed eyes, Piper could sense a figure stood above her blocking the sun rays from penetrating her skin.

"Excuse me, Miss," the sun blocking offender spoke in broken English. "But you have a phone call."

"Wont be for me," Piper waved away the young man impatiently.

"You are Piper Chapman yes?"

The blonde sighed and placed her sunglasses atop her head. There was a reason her mobile phone was currently switched off at the bottom of her suitcase.

"Can't you just take a message?"

"Urgent. The man on the phone says it's urgent."

"Unbelievable," she scoffed. Reluctantly leaving her Margarita behind, she stood to her feet and tied her sarong around her trim waist. "I hope you know by the time I get back the ice will have melted in my drink? Well, lead the way then," she impatiently shooed.

She made sure to stay several feet behind the hotel worker as she followed him back to the hotel, being in no great hurry to answer the call. In Piper's mind, whoever dared disturb her on her holiday deserved to be kept on hold to waste their money on international calls. Had she not had a strong suspicion that the man on the phone was her ex, she probably would have been more forgiving.

"Hello?"

"Hello Piper. Is that you?"

She rolled her eyes when her suspicions were proven correct. Her insides squirmed at the familiar voice that she would pay not to hear again.

"Damn it Larry, we said no contact. Let me guess…Pete caved and told you where I was staying?"

"No he-"

"Polly then? Argh I'm going to kill her. I came here to get away from everything. Get away from you. Us. And she understood. When I see her I am going to-"

"PIPER! Would you shut up for one minute," he snapped. "Something's happened?"

Piper sensed the urgency in his voice and allowed him to speak. The moment she let him do that was the moment everything changed.

"There was, uh, a car crash," Larry spoke, trying to hold himself together. "Polly is in a coma and Pete…well Pete's gone Piper. He's dead."

Piper gasped and dropped the phone in shock, startling the receptionist who was busy checking in a queue of new guests. She could hear Larry's tinny voice calling out for her so she bent down and retrieved the phone from the shiny floor.

"I'm here," she said, leaving silence swimming between them. A couple of agonisingly slow minutes passed and Piper asked the question that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to.

"And Finny. Is he ok?"

"He's fine," Larry assured her after taking a minute to compose himself. "They'd left him with me while they popped out for groceries. Didn't want to disturb him. I'm thankful he is a light sleeper or they probably would have taken him with them."

Relief flooded Piper's body. At least one of the trio was ok, well, physically ok at least. She dreaded to think what life would be like for the youngster without a doting father, and potentially no mother. After 10 minutes of sobbing with Larry and being watched by a queue of guests, Piper went straight to her room and caught the next available flight home.

Ever since that fateful day she had become Finn's primary carer. Piper wanted to do Polly and Pete proud and raise their son until Polly awoke from her coma.

" _If she ever wakes up."_

Piper scolded herself at the thought that kept popping unwillingly into her head. Polly had to be ok. She just had to be.

Piper grabbed the remote for the television and started absent mindedly flicking through the channels. Settling on a programme, she wandered into the kitchen with the sole intention of pouring herself a much needed glass of wine. She started to rummage through various cupboards for a suitable glass. She still hadn't gotten used to where everything belonged. She would find herself occasionally opening the snack cupboard when what she was actually looking for were the pots and pans.

When Piper volunteered to look after Finn, it was agreed that she would stay in the family home. Reason being for Finn's benefit so as well having a new care giver and no mother or father, he would at least have his familiar home environment to comfort him. Had the situation not been so tragic, Piper would have been ecstatic to have a roof over her head. Piper had planned to move out of the apartment she shared with Larry when she returned from Spain. She didn't have a clue where she was going to live but she was more than sure she didn't want to move back in with her parents. She couldn't stand being constantly reminded about how her ovaries were going to soon expire.

After a few moments of searching for a glass, Piper found what she was looking for and filled it up with wine. She returned to the living room and made the most of the peace and quiet. With only the distant sound of the television to disturb her, she unintentionally dozed off. The glass of wine that was gradually spilling into her lap due to her loosened grip on the stem, was gently prised from her grip.

In her drowsy state, Piper lay down on the couch and allowed a thin blanket to be thrown over her.

"Sleep well Pipes."

* * *

A loud wailing awoke her from her restless slumber, and Piper shot up in a desperate panic.

"It's ok, I got him."

Once the panic had gone, anger took over.

"I know how to take care of him Larry," Piper snapped relieving him from his duty, much to Larry's dismay.

"I _am_ his godfather incase you had forgotten."

"And I'm his godmother who has _custody_ incase _you_ had forgotten," she hissed in between stroking the infant's back, attempting to soothe him.

"Bull shit!" he exclaimed. " _We_ got custody because Polly's parents believe we are still a couple."

"Just go home Larry, I'm sure Sara is happily keeping your side of the bed warm."

"For fucks sake Piper," Larry raised his voice in exasperation, tired of the constant accusation. "It was one kiss after a few drinks and I already told you, _she_ kissed _me_."

Deep down, Piper knew Larry wouldn't cheat on her. He wasn't the type. If she was honest, she had been looking for an excuse to end their relationship a long time before the incident occurred. She used the fact he didn't tell her about it as a chance to get out of their stifling relationship. She found out about the kiss a month later from the woman herself at Larry's work function. Piper played the heartbroken girlfriend for Larry's benefit but she was secretly more than happy to be out of the relationship that lacked the excitement she so craved. Larry wanted a wedding, a family, and a happy ending: domesticated bliss. Piper didn't want that kind of life with him.

She gently placed Finn, who had stopped crying, into his bouncer and stormed into the kitchen. With her wine glass in her hand, Piper ignored Larry's pleas for her to stay and talk 'like an adult' to him. She slammed the glass down on the counter harder than necessary, causing it to shatter in her hands.

"Ouch. Fuck," she cursed, ripping a piece of kitchen roll from its holder in order to stem the instant blood flow from her fingers.

Ever dutiful, Larry ran straight into the kitchen and held both Piper's hands in his while he pulled her over to the kitchen sink.

"No, Larry," she freed herself and pushed his shoulder with her uninjured hand. "Leave me the fuck alone."

"You know what, " he raised both hands in defeat. "Bleed to death then. I can't do this anymore."

With that final statement, he turned on his heel and marched out of the kitchen, making no effort to close the front door quietly.

"Oh please, please no," Piper closed her eyes praying for the inevitable not to happen.

Sure enough right on cue, Finn started to cry along with Piper who cleaned up her cut before tending to the baby who was now an even bigger part of her life. She cradled him in front of her and brought him up towards her face so she could kiss his tiny head. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, her tears starting to form a wet patch on his hair. She cried for Polly and Pete. She cried for Finn. And most of all, she cried with regret for the long gone days when she lived a life of unpredictability with the mysterious Alex Vause.


	2. What if?

**Thankyou all for the reviews. They are the best motivation. It means a lot to read what you all think of the story. I had this chapter written down differently but once I get typing on the computer things change! I can only apologise if some of the terms aren't American. I am British so I've tried my best turning nappies to diapers and mum to mom things like that. On with chapter two…**

It was the theme tune to the early morning breakfast show that woke Piper from her restless sleep. She started to stretch but found her movements restricted. Momentarily confused, she looked down at the small bundle nestled into her chest. Her and Finn had fallen asleep on the sofa not long after their tears subsided, both being emotionally drained it seemed.

She leaned up cradling Finn's head to secure his position, and squinted at the corner of the television to check the time of the TV show clock. 6am. She sighed at her inability to sleep until a reasonable hour and decided to place Finn in his crib rather than his bouncer, even though she would rather avoid the trek up the stairs. Piper used to be a pro at early mornings, and it wasn't that long ago that she went back to being an amateur. Before the tragedy, she was up and ready to run the streets of New York. She loved the feeling of rejuvenation, her feet pounding the city pavements and the breeze flowing freely through her blonde locks.

Now due to her lifestyle change, waking up properly involved coffee, and lots of it. _Just like Alex._ Piper smiled at the memory of a grumpy Alex before coffee, and flicked the switch of the kettle.

She scooped some coffee granules and sugar into a cup and waited for the kettle to finish boiling before adding the milk and water. She sat down on the stool by the breakfast bar and leaned one of her arms on the counter in front of her. Resting her head on her hand, she absent-mindedly used her other to stir her drink.

It had been happening a lot lately, Piper thought. Thoughts of her ex girlfriend plagued her dreams and intruded on every waking thought. Well they did when she wasn't pre occupied with Finn or worrying about Polly. It started with the occasional thing. She would walk past an opticians and see a pair of glasses and think of Alex, or she would have a Margarita as she did in the short stay in Spain, and think of the comments Alex would make at her choice of drink. Then she started to see Alex, or at least she thought she did. Her latest sighting was in the coffee shop they used to haunt. She was walking arm in arm with Polly, not long before her accident, when she came to a sudden halt.

"Ooooh look at this one Piper. Finny would look so cute in this."

Piper tore her eyes away from the raven haired beauty and allowed herself to be distracted. The next time she looked up, Alex was gone.

Piper put it down to everything that was happening with Larry at the time. She knew it was only a matter of time before her relationship broke down so she was bound to mourn the past of a relationship she was never ready to end. That's what she told herself. She was bound to obsess over the what if's. What if she had never encouraged Alex to apply for that job? What if Piper hadn't met Larry? What if Paris had never happened?

" _I am so fucking stressed," sighed Alex, her eyes glued to the screen of the laptop and her nimble fingers typing away on the keyboard._

" _What's new?" Piper mumbled petulantly._

" _What?" Alex automatically asked, not paying too much attention._

 _Piper didn't answer, instead she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling of their hotel room. This was Paris. They should be out there celebrating their much needed break away from reality, but instead reality had followed them. Unfortunately Alex had insisted on taking her laptop, unable to comprehend leaving behind her responsibilities as a stock broker, despite taking holiday leave._

 _Piper could feel the tears start prickling at her eyes, but she merely blinked them away. She was so stupid to think that this couple of weeks would be all about her and Alex spending quality time together. She had felt them drifting apart for the past couple of months but she put it down to them needing a vacation. They had both been swamped with work. Piper had recently started her own business venture with Polly. Their 'Popi' soap products had been selling like hot cakes and they were struggling to meet the demands of their consumers. Alex on the other hand had received a huge promotion at work. What had started as a small job to help fund her dream of opening a tattoo parlour, had become a job that was taking over her personal life._

 _Piper decided something needed to be done. She and Polly hired a couple of people to help with their business, so they could find time to rest and spend time with their other halves._ _She persuaded Alex to request time off for a month so they could spend a few days explore New York and spend the rest in Paris._

 _The few days in New York didn't become a reality. Alex chose to work instead, which is what Piper had feared would happen. Since arriving in Paris a week earlier, they had barely left the hotel room together apart from their first night in the hotel bar. Despite best her efforts, Piper couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, at the realistion that this was it. This was their relationship now._

 _She wiped at her eyes, the movement unnoticed by Alex. She took a deep breath and turned over onto her stomach. She couldn't just give up. She had to try. They were in Paris for heavens sake. They should be having romantic meals and being typical tourists taking selfies beneath the most famous landmark in France: the Eiffel Tower._

" _Let's go out tonight. We haven't really explored anywhere yet and it'd be fun to see what the Parisian night life is like."_

" _I don't think so Pipes. I really need to get this sorted," she responded, not even taking the time to consider the offer, her eyes never averting from the screen._

" _C'mon, it'll be fun. Larry suggested we go to-"_

" _Larry?" Alex interrupted, giving Piper her full attention._

 _The blonde smiled innocently at the success of her change of tact. She managed to get Alex's undivided attention._

" _Problem?"_

" _No," Alex scoffed. She resumed typing out her email for a couple of minutes before the thought of her girlfriend and this Larry guy laughing and joking together. She placed her glasses firmly onto her head and crossed her arms, a frown taking over her features. "Isn't Larry that wet blanket with the curly black hair who hit on you while I was stood right there?"_

 _Piper pretended to be interested in the clothes hanging in the wardrobe, skimming through them as she replied._

" _That was a mistake Alex," she shrugged. "And he's not a wet blanket. He's actually a really good listener. Anyway he suggested a place called La Belle Villoise. We can have a meal there then go on the next floor to the bar and club."_

" _He's a good listener? How would you know that?"_

" _Don't be jealous baby," Piper playfully mocked. She straddled Alex's lap and traced light kisses from the base of her neck to the soft spot just below her ear. She smirked at the shudder she managed to elicit from her girlfriend. "So what do you think?" Another shudder at the warm breath touching her skin from the whisper._

" _Just you and me," Piper continued, punctuating each word with a kiss until she reached Alex's lips._

 _Alex broke the kiss and moved her head from side to side by way of avoiding the kisses she was being peppered with. She firmly grabbed Piper by the waist and lifted her off her lap and onto the floor. She gripped the desk and pulled herself back towards it using the wheels of the chair as leverage._

" _I don't think so Pipes. If I don't secure this deal I am well and truly screwed and all of the hard work and promotion will have been for nothing."_

 _Piper's hopeful mood evaporated almost as soon as it started, and she grabbed the vase from the table. Launching it at the opposite wall, it shattered into a thousand pieces, much like her heart._

" _Piper! What the fuck?"_

" _Is this our life now? Am I just a pathetic little housewife to you?" the blonde's voice faultered at the end of her sentence._

 _Alex opened her mouth to respond, but her phone interrupted before she could voice across her feelings. She made an instant grab for it before Piper could throw it out of the window. Piper could see she was torn between answering her, or answering the ever persistent caller._

 _Folding her arms and raising her eyebrows, she challenged her girlfriend._

" _Answer that and we are done. I can't do this anymore. It's me or your job. Which is it to be Alex?"_

" _Grow the fuck up Piper." she turned her back to Piper, answering the phone to her client._

 _Piper took her second deep breath of the evening and barged passed Alex, managing to knock the phone out of her hand in the process. She ignored the muttered curse of her girlfriend and opened the door of the hotel room. She paused, hand on door handle, and looked back at Alex who was more concerned with reattaching the battery to her phone. She shook her head in disbelief and closed the door on her relationship._

Three cups of coffee later and Piper deemed herself alert enough for a mini shopping trip. She locked the door behind her and started walking, gripping the handle bars of Finn's pram. She gently shook it and cooed, encouraging him to go back to sleep. She stopped at the end of the driveway and admired the house opposite. The 'For Sale' sign stood tattered in the garden, blowing ever so slightly in the breeze. The garden was unkempt and overgrown, which wasn't surprising since the property had been vacated for almost a year. Ivy had started to grow up the sides of the house due to no attention, but still Piper thought it was a beautiful, understated building.

She longed to see what it was like inside but the previous owners had kept the curtains closed on all windows so she couldn't even peer inside. It was built differently to all of the other houses in the street and it was an extra storey high. Piper tilted her head back and looked up, using her hand to protect her eyes from the sun. A metal bird stood atop the building which seemed a little random but it just added to the building's uniqueness.

Polly had often made comments about it being an eyesore and embarrassing to their street but Piper saw it's potential. Plus she liked a challenge. If she ever bought it she could renovate it like they did on the home TV shows that she had started to watch.

"What do you reckon Finny? Maybe when Mommy's better I could look at buying this place."

She looked at it longingly one last time and headed to her destination

* * *

"Oh what a beautiful baby," the checkout assistant admired whilst scanning through the few items from Piper's basket.

"Thankyou," she replied. "He sure does keep me on my toes."

She reached into his pram and adjusted his blanket slightly away from his face. "I wish he would sleep like this at home though."

"That will be $19.95 please," the assistant smiled.

Piper handed over the cash and waited patiently for her change. She had gone into the store for the bare essentials - nappies and formula milk. Basically anything for Finn. She had intended on doing a bigger shop but with it being such a nice day outside, she didn't want to drive her car. The fresh air would do them both the world of good.

"Thankyou," said Piper as her change was handed to her.

"You're welcome. You must be one proud Mother," the assistant complemented.

Piper smiled as she agreed and adjusted her bag on her shoulder. She moved away from the checkout so as not to hold up the queue that had built up considerably. She took a seat and loaded her shopping bags underneath the pram. Piper swallowed the guilt she felt for going along with the assumption that she was parent to Finn. It was easier than getting into conversation about the true situation. The last time a stranger complimented her on her 'son' Piper had blurted out the whole story and promptly burst into tears at the mention of Polly. Not wanting a repeat performance, she exited the store, stopping by the exit to remove her jacket as she knew she would get a sweat on pushing the pram up the hill. Starting the walk up the hill away from the store, Piper came to an abrupt halt when her phone started ringing with Larry's personalised ringtone. She made a mental note to change the Titanic soundtrack ringtone that Larry had insisted upon, at the next available opportunity. She started to panic when she couldn't find the device. Releasing her grip from the pram, Piper crouched down and rummaged through the bag using two hands rather than one. In normal circumstances she would have made him wait or even ignore the call altogether. But these weren't normal circumstances and ever since Spain, she associated any calls from Larry with bad news.

"Larry? Is everything ok?" she answered after finding the phone.

"Yeah, yeah it's fine. I was just calling about last night."

She sighed and paced in a small circle as she listened to Larry ramble on about the usual stuff. Mainly how he wanted to give them another try blah, blah, blah.

"Oh Shit. Fin. FINNY!" shrieked Piper, chasing after the pram that was starting to pick up speed rolling down the hill. She threw her phone aside and ran as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Stop that pram," she yelled at the tall stranger stepping out of the store.

The woman complied immediately and managed to stop the pram from it's speedy descent. Piper stopped with relief, placing both her hands on her knees as she caught her breath.

"Here, I think this belongs to you."

Piper's saviour passed her the pram and took no offence as the blonde pushed past her and looked straight at the baby. She picked up Finn without hesitation, not caring that she might disturb him from his sleeping. She cuddled him to her chest and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Piper acknowledged. "I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"Don't sweat it, Kid."

Piper frowned at the nickname and familiarity in the strangers voice. She looked at the woman who was too busy staring at the pram.

"Might want to keep a closer eye on that pram of yours though," she laughed, the huskiness in her voice causing Piper's heart to stop.

"Alex?"

The brunette's eyes widened and she looked straight into the eyes of the girl who had broken her heart 5 years previously. Having being caught up with playing the part of Super Woman, Alex hadn't paid too much attention to the damsel in distress other than taking note of those delicious legs in the denim shorts that Piper was wearing.

"Hey Vause. You going for MILF's now or something?" the bushy haired woman leaned onto Alex's shoulder. Alex shrugged her off in annoyance and stuffed her hands firmly into her jacket pockets.

"Leave it Nicky."

Despite the MILF comment, Piper had never been more relieved to see a stranger. The tension between her and Alex was so thick she could cut it with a knife and serve it for breakfast _and_ dinner. There was so much she wanted to say to her ex but the daggers Piper was receiving made her feel too uncomfortable.

"Your, er, your friend here just stopped Finn's pram from rolling into the road."

"Your friend?" laughed Alex in disbelief.

"Ah I see. You a first time mom? Quizzed Nicky, ignoring Alex's interruption. Without waiting for a response, she continued her conversation sensing the onset of tears from the blonde. "My mom left me in a Santa's Grotto when I was younger. She went off to do some last minute shopping and left me in the queue. Now I know what you're thinking a Grotto ain't so bad. Sounds fun right? Just not when the elves looked more like members of a drug cartel. And Santa himself was just…" she shuddered without finishing her sentence. "It was only when I got older I realised the smell that reminded me of Santa and Christmas time, was actually Marijuana. Still haunts me to this day."

Piper chuckled and settled Finn back into his pram. It wasn't all bad, she surmised.

 _There's still time when he's older._

She was starting to panic as it hit her. All of the mistakes she was yet to make. The sooner Polly woke up the better.

"Anyway," Nicky concluded, interrupting Piper's thoughts. "We'd best be going. Places to go people to see. Nice meeting ya Blondie," she winked.

"Yeah, you too."

"You coming Vause?" Nicky shouted over her shoulder as she walked in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, I'm coming," she replied, tearing her eyes away from Piper. With a final look, she turned on her heel.

Piper watched the retreating figure. She could just let Alex escape from her life, or she could take a chance and hope for the best. She went for the latter. Piper couldn't do this. She couldn't lose her again. She made sure the brakes were on the pram and chased after her first and to date, her last true love.

"Wait, Alex!"

The raven haired beauty stopped but refused to turn around. Piper wasn't deterred and marched forward.

"Maybe we could go for a drink sometime. Have a catch up?" she proposed hopefully.

"I don't think so Piper."

Piper glanced over at Nicky who was watching the interaction between this stranger and her friend with curious eyes.

"Please? I'd like to say thank you..."

Alex sighed and turned to face Piper. "You've already said it. What do you want from me?"

"...By taking you out for a drink."

"What?"

"I'd like to say thank you by taking you out for a drink."

Silence swam between them for what felt like minutes to Piper, but in reality it was probably only a few seconds.

"That wont be necessary," Alex responded coldly.

She turned away and headed towards Nicky. Piper grabbed the receipt from her bag and scribbled down a few numbers on the back. She couldn't give up. Not yet. She folded the scrap of paper and reached forward, placing it into the pocket of the familiar leather jacket. She felt a tinge of excitement as her fingers brushed against Alex's. It was excitement she had been missing.

"Call me," Piper whispered into her ear.

Without waiting for a response, Piper returned to the pram and carried on up the hill in the opposite direction. She had done all she could. It was out of character for her to be so forward but Alex always brought out a side to her that seemed to hibernate away from everybody else. All she could do now was hope that her phone would ring with a ringtone other than that of 'My heart will go on."


	3. Anger and Resentment

**Chapter 3 is here. I didn't intend to leave it so long until the next update but I have been working overnight shifts this week and anyone who knows me will tell you I am NOT a night owl. I managed to type up bits at a time but I was on a mission tonight to get the chapter done. I was only going to do the story from Piper's perspective but I felt Alex's side had to be told too. Not 100% sure if I will carry on writing from just Piper's perspective or both. What do you think? Anyway enough of my rambling. Thank you once again to those who take the time to review and favourite etc. Your kind words are what got this chapter complete.**

Alex stayed stood in the same position, hands in her pockets with her fingers still tingling against the scrap bit of paper. Piper's perfume ensnared her senses and rendered her speechless. She had fantasised about speaking to Piper again, having her that close, but their first proper meeting since the break up hadn't gone as she expected. It was too soon. Far too soon. Even though 5 years had passed by, the pain of losing Piper was still raw. If Alex wanted to speak to Piper, she would have. Since moving back to New York, she had noticed the blonde from afar on several occasions. There were a couple of close calls; the latest one being a couple of months ago outside the coffee shop. As soon as she locked eyes with Piper the mixture of emotions that bubbled to the surface caused a flight reaction, and she ran straight back into the coffee shop. She prayed that Piper wouldn't come over to find her.

Their brief reunion confirmed what Alex had feared. The anger and resentment was still there. She still hadn't let go of the past.

She gripped tightly onto the scrap of paper and screwed it into a small ball. It dropped on to the ground below and she stepped on it making a twisting motion with her foot as though she were putting out a lit cigarette. Scraping her fingers through her hair, Alex resisted the temptation to scream in frustration as well. Seeing her distress, Nicky approached Alex and put a friendly hand on her arm.

"What the fuck was that?"

Alex looked away, fully aware that her eyes would portray the mixture of emotions she was feeling. She didn't care if Nicky could see the anger residing there, she just didn't want her best friend to see the hurt and anguish that her brief encounter with the Piper had caused.

"Just leave it," she shrugged, her voice defeated. "It's nothing."

"Nothing? Seriously? If you aren't gonna tell me then…" she shrugged. "Hey, Blondie!"

Alex snapped to her senses and placed her hands over Nicky's mouth. She could feel her nails digging into the flesh of Nicky's cheeks but at that point she didn't care.

"Shut the fuck up," she hissed into Nicky's ear. "I said fucking leave it."

Alex tried to calm down her rapid breathing as she released her grip on Nicky. "Fuck."

"Calm down, she couldn't hear me. Look!"

Nicky pointed to a figure in the distance. She was in fact right. There was no way Piper could have heard her yell her name. She was almost at the top of the hill when she stopped and started to walk back down the hill.

Both women watched in baited breath as she stopped half way and crouched down to pick something up off the floor. She then did a u-turn with the pram and retreated further up the hill.

"She's a mom," Alex whispered to herself.

She felt a firm hand on her arm and she was pulled in the direction they were originally intent on heading to before the whole Piper/pram incident. An awkward silence swam between the two friends following Alex's outburst. Nicky had never witnessed that look in her friends eyes. She knew it wasn't anger. She had been around Alex Vause long enough to see that steely glint in her eyes but never had it been directed at Nicky. Her actions spoke anger but her eyes screamed vulnerability, pain and sadness all rolled into one.

Alex felt a tug on her arm and she spun around on the spot. She moved her eyes away from the floor where they had been focussed since they started walking. She looked at the perpetrator with quizzical eyes, and then at the building she was being pulled towards.

"Thought we could do with a rest stop," Nicky winked and dragged her lost friend into the bar.

She told Alex to go and find a table, which wasn't difficult considering it was only a little before noon. The only people in the bar were the old regulars who were nursing their drinks close to their chest, as though deep in thought.

She sat in an unoccupied booth, took off her jacket and draped it over her thighs. She lolled her head onto the back of the cushioned seat and closed her eyes, wondering if she made a mistake by screwing up and stomping on Piper's number.

It wasn't long before Nicky arrived with their drinks. She slid the glass of alcohol across the table and Alex caught it before it fell off the edge. Both women sat there in silence before Nicky broke it, asking the question Alex was dreading.

"So who was the blonde?"

Alex sighed and downed the double shot of whiskey in one go. She wiped at her lips with the back of her hand and debated on how she was going to answer. Another drink was thrust upon her, and it was only then that Alex noticed the tray of drinks that Nicky had brought back with her.

"Wow. You know me too well," she clinked her glass with Nicky's.

"Know what? Know that you'll want to drink your feelings away? Yeah I do because it's what you do best. Hell, isn't that what you were doing when I met you?"

 _Alex ended the call to her aunt, and sat on the edge of the bed in pure shock. Dead. How could her mother be dead? She had spoken to her only a couple of days ago. Panic spread through her body and forced her out of her rigid position. Within the last couple of hours she had lost the two most important people in her life. There was nothing she could do about her mother now but she_ could _try to find Piper and convince her to stay. Alex had to find her, she just had to. She needed her. Despite the amount of friends and acquaintances Alex had accumulated over the years, she felt completely alone unless Piper was there to catch her when she fell. Piper was the one she had trusted with her heart and she didn't want her to toss it aside like it was disposable._

 _Alex hurried to the bathroom and gripped onto the sink, causing her knuckles to go white. She took in several deep breaths and stared into the mirror in front of her._

 _"Come on Vause, you can do this," she spoke to her reflection._

 _She placed her glasses atop her head and splashed cold water on her face in attempt to vanquish her bloodshot eyes. She applied fresh eyeliner and ran her fingers through her hair trying to tousle it so it looked as though it were intentionally messy. She grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair and ran down the flights of stairs to the hotel exit. Stepping outside, she was glad she brought an extra as the air had cooled down somewhat. It was late afternoon and the streets were starting to get busier with locals rushing home from a busy day at the office._

 _Alex didn't have the first clue where to start in her search. She stood in the middle of a bustling crowd and unwillingly allowed herself to be knocked by people in different directions. She turned to her left and caught eyes with the Eiffel Tower. It was probably a 30 minute walk from their hotel, so Alex set off on her way._

 _Ten minutes into her walk she noticed the back of a blonde woman, very similar size to her Piper and similar clothing to what Piper was wearing when she left the hotel room._

" _Piper!" she gripped the woman's arm and spun her around._

 _The eyes she was met with weren't the familiar, loving blues that she had become accustomed to. Instead they pierced her with an icy stare before a gentleman cut in between them and yelled at Alex in French. She raised her hands in defeat._

" _Sorry I thought she was someone else._ _Desole, desole," Alex added seeing the man didn't understand her English._

 _She made the same mistake a couple more times. The second time she received a slap to the face and she didn't give the stranger time to react on her third futile attempt. Alex arrived at the tower slightly out of breath. She bent over and placed the palm of her hands on her knees as she tried to regain some of her breath back._

 _She stood upright and took in the sight around her. Couples everywhere. Several of them politely asked her to take a photograph of them which she unenthusiastically obliged to._

" _Piper won't be here," Alex mumbled to herself as the camera flashed at the grinning couple. Surely she wouldn't go to one of the most romantic places in the country if she had just had a break up._

Unless she's not on her own.

 _Alex dismissed the niggling doubt as soon as it entered her head. It was just a silly argument and Piper bringing up Larry in the hotel room was just to get her attention, she hoped._

 _She felt a twinge of regret and wished she had taken Piper's threat to end it all more seriously. All she had to do was turn her phone off and take her on a date for an evening. That way her life wouldn't have changed until she next turned her phone on and received the devastating news about her mother._

 _Alex wandered around the streets and found herself outside the bar that Piper had suggested they go to earlier on. She entered and scoured the room for any sign of the love of her life. Although it was a popular haunt for tourists and locals, it was still relatively quiet due to the time of day. Taking a glance at the clock above the bar, Alex noted the time was 5 pm. Postponing her search of Piper for the time being, Alex pulled up a stool at the bar and ordered a drink._

" _Scotch on the rocks, double. Actually make it a triple."_

 _Alex grabbed the glass before the barman could place it on the counter. She downed the liquid and handed over her cash._

" _Keep 'em coming buddy."_

 _She brought the second glass to her lips and paused, her eyes catching those of a bushy haired woman who had just removed her ogling eyes away from the glass collector's behind. The woman stood up and approached the bar, leaning against it and holding her hand out towards Alex._

" _A woman after my own heart. Nicky Nicholls," she introduced herself._

 _Alex ignored the hand thrust in front of her and took a sip of her drink. Seeing the woman look expectantly at her, she sighed and stated her own name._

 _Undeterred by Alex's abruptness, Nicky ordered the same drink and a couple of shots for the two of them. She slid one over to Alex and watched as she shrugged and downed it in one._

 _"Whoa you're on a mission tonight. Don't tell me. you've been dumped. Classic signs."_

 _Alex laughed sarcastically, "Try dumped then an hour later found out my mom died."_

" _Ouch. I'm sorry. You want to talk about it?"_

 _Alex was ready to respond with a 'no' but her head belied her and nodded. It was unlikely she would meet this stranger again and although she seemed wacky and a bit out there, Alex couldn't help but think she would be a good listener._

" _Ok. Hey, barkeep. Keep 'em coming would ya? We'll be over there." Nicky pointed to a secluded area in the corner of the bar, for which Alex was grateful._

 _They both took seats and Nicky waited patiently for her new companion to start talking. After 5 minutes she grew a tad impatient. Flipping the beer mat off the edge of the table several times had lost it's appeal._

" _You ever heard the saying places to go people to see?" Nicky raised her eyebrows and flicked the beer mat impatiently again._

 _Alex chuckled at the comment and took that as her cue to start the conversation. She regaled the story of her and Piper's history and what brought her to the bar that evening. Nicky winced and nodded in all of the right places and never once broke eye contact. Alex did look away occasionally, Piper still being the only one she felt truly comfortable maintaining eye contact with._

" _So why are you here?" Nicky asked, after Alex finished speaking._

" _What do you mean?" Alex asked, a puzzled look on her face. "I just told you."_

" _Listen, I don't know this Piper chick for shit, but from what you've said about her, she ain't the type to go walking through the streets of Paris alone. You already said you argued because she was stuck in the hotel all the trip. Why the fuck didn't she go out herself? Did you even bother to check anywhere in the hotel. The bar, sauna, swimming pool?"_

 _Alex shook her head, feeling slightly foolish. "I just panicked. She didn't take her cell phone so I couldn't even call her."_

" _I guarantee she is sat in that hotel room sobbing over your pillow waiting for you to come back. So what are you waiting for?"_

 _Nicky waved her hands at Alex in a shooing motion until she stood to her feet. She pushed her chair under the table and smiled weakly at Nicky. Gratitude was never easy for Alex so she merely nodded and smiled slightly. She started to turn around when she felt fingers grasp her wrist._

" _I'm intrigued so let me know how it turns out," Nicky slid a beer mat across the table with several digits on which Alex assumed was her mobile number. "If it doesn't work out, you know where I am."_

 _It wasn't out of the ordinary for women or men to wink suggestively at Alex, but it was out of the ordinary for her to laugh about it and not return the gesture with an icy stare._

" _Thanks Nichols," she said. "I'll bear that in mind." She folded the beer mat in half and stuffed it inside the back pocket of her jeans._

 _She walked up the steps and out of the bar onto the street which had darkened somewhat since she was last outside. She estimated the time to be around 7pm. She hurried on her way back to the hotel. The last thing she wanted was to leave Piper a sobbing mess on their bed. Nicky was right. Piper would be doing just that like the good dutiful girlfriend she is. It's how all of their arguments ended, and there had been a lot of them lately. It was nothing they couldn't sort through. They just had to get the next few weeks of grief with her mother's funeral and the aftermath out of the way, then they could get back to some sort of normality. Maybe Alex would ask her to move in; she practically lived with Piper anyway whilst the asbestos problem in Alex's rental property was being sorted._

 _Alex found her way back to the hotel after taking a few wrong turns and headed straight to the hotel room. Piper had definitely been back. The clothes she had been wearing earlier on in the day were strewn on the floor, making a path to the bathroom._

" _Piper?" Alex called._

 _She was met with nothing but the sounds of the traffic on the ground below. She checked the balcony outside and took a seat on the wicker chair. She made sure to move Piper's sunglasses first before she sat on them and damaged them. She didn't want to give Piper anymore ammunition. She already had a fully loaded gun so to speak and Alex had handed her plenty of bullets._

 _She put her feet up on the chair opposite and scrolled through her contacts before she found Piper's name. Hitting the call button, she waited for the dial tone to ring out._

" _Hi this is Piper. Please leave your message after the beep."_

 _Alex hesitated, she hated nothing more than leaving voicemails but she was desperate._

" _Hey…Pipes. Erm, I've been looking all over for you. I guess I should have stayed here because seems like you've been back. I guessed from the little mess you made on the floor and your phone isn't here. I suppose it's a good sign you haven't packed yet. Listen call me back please, we need to talk. Something terrible has happened. I'm not just saying that so you'll call me back and this isn't just about us. I need you, ok? Call me."_

 _She hung up and furiously wiped away at the tears that were determined to fall. The search for Piper had kept her mind from allowing her to break down and grieve so she decided to carry on._

 _She wandered down to the hotel bar, and sure enough there was Piper. There was no mistaking her this time. Her loose wavy blonde locks fell elegantly down her bar back and Alex recognised the halter neck dress she was wearing as one Alex herself had bought her for the purpose of the date she had promised her a few days previous. A call from Fahri, her boss had put an end to that date before it even had a chance to start._

 _Alex breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at the sight of her girlfriend, if she could still call her that. Her smile didn't last long. She couldn't hear what was being said, but Alex could see everything. She saw the flirtatious touches, the way Piper would suck on the olive that was pierced with a cocktail stick, her drink abandoned on the counter in front of her. The push of her hand on to Larry's shoulder and the way_ his _hand was starting to move undoubtedly towards Piper's thigh. She heard that flirtatious giggle and bit the inside of her cheek not caring for the pain. He looked as though he was doing the clichéd "You have an eyelash right there," as a pathetic attempt to stroke her cheek. He started to lean in towards_ her _Piper and Alex couldn't take anymore. She stormed out of the bar and up to the hotel room before Piper could see her._

 _She slammed the door to her room and leaned back on it, catching her breath. She refused to allow any tears to fall, her anger taking hold._

 _"Holy mother fucking SHIT!"_

 _Her fist connected with the wall, leaving a slight dent in it's wake. The pain. She needed it. The physical pain would at least detract from the emotional pain that she felt deep within herself. She hit her back onto the wall and slid down onto the carpet, hugging her knees to her chest. She rocked there for a few minutes then glanced down at the broken vase on the floor. She picked up one of the shards of glass and squeezed her hand into a fist, feeling the adrenaline kick in as the stinging pain in her hand started. She only released her grip when her phone buzzed with a new text message._

 _ **Piper: I can't talk right now, Alex. I need to be on my own for a while to clear my head.**_

 _Alex stared in disbelief at the message, there was no mention of what this terrible news could be, no question as to why Alex needed her and certainly a downright lie about her needing to be on her own. She typed back a furious reply but deleted it before she could click send._

 _If Piper wanted to end this and go, then Alex would make it a hell of a lot easier. Like a woman possessed, she threw all of Piper's belongings into a suitcase. She found Piper's passport in its flowery wallet and placed it on the bedside table. She pulled out the photo of them that Piper carried around and ripped it in half, straight down the middle so they were separated. Pressing her pen down on the back of the pictures as hard as she could, she scrawled a 'FUCK' on one side and a 'YOU' on the other. She debated leaving a note but she decided the picture spoke for itself._

 _Alex grabbed the beer mat out of her pocket and dialled Nicky's number. She had barely said 'Hello' when Alex interjected._

" _Let's get fucked up."_

Alex couldn't help but agree with Nicky. "Yep that's what I was doing when we first met and it's what I intend to do now. Only difference is I was drowning my sorrows over her then, but now? Now, I'm thanking my lucky stars I got out of there when I did. Cheers."

Nicky was momentarily confused by Alex's statement and just stared at her while she downed another drink.

"A mom. Piper's a mom. Rule number one Nichols: Don't ever fall in love with a straight girl."

Nicky's eyes widened as it dawned on her as to who the blonde was and it all clicked into place. Alex's reaction and the way Piper looked so uncomfortable under Alex's gaze. Nicky had known Alex was never truly over Piper and that's why after her Mom's funeral she had avoided New York altogether.

"Holy shit, that was her? That was Piper?"

Alex nodded and handed a shot of rather questionable alcohol to Nicky raised her glass with a wink.

"Let's get fucked up."


	4. Making it better

**Wow. Thankyou for the amazing response from the last chapter, for all the favourite and follows and of course the reviews from:**

 **Phantomjazz - I hope this is soon enough for you ;)**

 **Sarag - Thank you for the kind words and encouragement**

 **WB79 - Glad you are liking my take on them**

 **moanz - The next one is now here for you to hopefully enjoy :)**

 **SeriouslyAwesome - Ah we know how Piper is but we've not heard her side of it yet so don't be hating on her too much ;)**

 **Guest - Glad you are enjoying it :)**

 **samb06 - We will have Piper clarify and give her side of the story all in good time. For now we will have to wait**

 **Thanks for the reviews guys. I can't promise 2 updates in under 48 hours every time but there's no harm in me trying! Hope you enjoy this one :-D**

* * *

"C'mon Alex," Piper made a desperate plea to the empty living room.

Sat on the sofa, she stared at the screen of her phone for another minute before throwing it against the cushions out of frustration. A week had passed since her brief encounter with Alex. Ever since her whispered request for Alex to call her, she had been constantly checking her phone. If she wasn't checking her phone for a message or call from Alex, she was waiting on the call to say Polly was awake. It was exhausting.

A couple of days after their unexpected meeting, Piper thought she had gotten her wish when her phone flashed up with a text message from an unknown number.

 **Sender Unknown: Call me, Piper**

Her heart in her mouth, Piper pressed a shaky finger on the green call button, and releasing a puff of air, she brought the phone up to her ear. It rang out a few times before the other person picked up. Piper waited for the inevitable 'Hello' that never came. Curious as to why Alex would cut her off, Piper called back almost straight away.

"Hello?" she said at the exact same time the person on the other line did.

"Hello…Piper?"

The blonde recognised the voice instantly, and tried to wash down the wave of disappointment she felt at the sound of her grandmothers voice.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes gran," chuckled Piper.

She swallowed down her guilt at wishing the caller was somebody else and spoke to her grandmother. Her Gran explained Piper's dad had just bought her a touch screen mobile phone as a birthday gift, but she hadn't the first clue how to use it. She had managed to figure out how to text after a few attempts but she had no idea what these phone updates and apps were about. Piper tried to explain as best she could and promised to visit as soon as she was free.

"Oh good. Bring Finn too, I'd like to meet him."

"We'll see Gran," Piper responded.

"How is your friend, Polly? Larry told Cal that you haven't visited her since the first night she was admitted to hospital."

It wasn't an accusation, more an observation and Piper had to remind herself of that before she responded. The last thing she wanted was to lose her temper with her grandmother.

"It's hard with Finn. He takes up so much of my time."

"I don't doubt that Piper, but Larry is there too you know. You can just take the baby with you anyway, he won't know any better. It might help Polly to hear your voice."

"I can't," Piper choked out.

"You can't what, dear?"

Her grandmother waited patiently for her to continue. She knew the best thing for her grand daughter was to leave her be and not push her into speaking too soon. After a few sniffles, Piper answered the question.

"It's too damn hard. I can't sit there while my best friend who usually never shuts up and is always so full of life is…." she broke off. "She's hooked up to these machines and tubes are everywhere going in and out of her body. That's why I can't."

Other than that phone call and the daily text from Larry updating him on Polly's condition, Piper's phone had remained silent. She tried to use Finn as an excuse to keep herself distracted, which worked while she was entertaining him and looking after him. It was when she was alone that her mind would cast back to Alex and how good she looked that day.

Piper despised the hold that her ex girlfriend still had over her. The ball was now firmly in Alex's court. At least when Piper walked out of the hotel room and away from Alex, she'd had some kind of power. Unable to spend another evening staring at her phone, Piper switched on Polly's laptop and chewed on her thumbnail while she impatiently waited for it to load up. She closed several pop up windows, making a mental note to invest in an anti virus software.

Upon seeing the screen background of the Harper family, Piper swallowed the feeling of sadness that she felt inside. She remembered taking the photo. It was the day after Polly was released from the hospital after giving birth to Finn. The Harpers had sat beneath the Willow tree in the neighbourhood park, Polly holding Finn under her chin, and Pete looking dotingly towards his family with his hand stroking his sons head. Piper changed the background straight away to the standard system one, ignoring the niggling feeling of guilt as she did so.

She opened up the internet browser and went straight to the Facebook homepage, logging in as herself. She clicked onto her notifications and growled upon seeing the several game requests.

"Fuck you, Candy Crush and fuck you Criminal Minds," she said whilst gritting her teeth. She deleted the people who had plagued her with the requests seeing as she didn't really speak to them anyway.

She took the plunge and typed Alex Vause into the search bar. Being unsuccessful she tried various alternatives:

 **Alexandra Vause**

 **Al Vause**

 **Allie Vause**

"Shit," she cursed, running her fingers through her blonde locks. She sat back and interlocked her fingers so both her hands were resting on the back of her head.

She shouldn't have been surprised that Alex wasn't on the social network site. Even though in reality, Alex had a huge social network of friends and acquaintances, she barely found the time to do anything other than work when her and Piper were a couple.

Grasping at straws, she typed in the first name of the friend Alex was with when the pram incident occurred. Despite not knowing her surname, it didn't stop Piper from trying to find her. She looked through the list of Nicky's that appeared on the screen.

 **Nicky Jones: 10 mutual friends**

 **Nicky Talbot: 5 mutual friends**

 **Nicky Jenkins: 2 mutual friends**

"Oh hell no, definitely not her," Piper shuddered, remembering Jenkins from a previous encounter that she would rather forget.

Sighing, Piper continued scrolling through the list when she came to a stop. Scrolling back to the Profile she found, her heart fluttered. There was no mistaking that wild bushy mane. She'd found her.

 **Nicky Nicholls: One mutual friend**

Lorna Morello. Lorna was the ex girlfriend of Larry's co worker Christopher. Piper and Larry had double dated with them a few times but ever since both their break-ups she hadn't really spoken to the brunette. Had she not been so determined to find Alex, Piper would have spent a few minutes wondering how Nicky and Morello knew each other.

Piper ignored the fact that she felt like a school girl with her extreme Facebook stalking and opened Nicky's profile page. Due to her privacy settings, Piper was unable to view her friends or photo albums, but she _could_ see her cover photo. There they were. Those beautiful green eyes piercing straight into Piper. Seeing how intimate Alex and Nicky looked in the photo caused a jealousy in Piper that she knew she didn't have a right to have anymore. The picture was obviously a selfie, the camera being held by Alex. She was smiling a toothy grin whilst Nicky kissed her cheek. Piper couldn't help but wonder if they were in a relationship together, her heart dropping at the very thought of it.

She debated adding Nicky just so she could see more of her profile but decided that would be a little too weird. She did some more digging and came across Nicky's place of work.

"Vause Tattoo & Piercing Studio," Piper murmured to herself.

Intrigued, she clicked on the link to the studio's Facebook page. It had an considerable amount of likes which must have meant it was relatively popular. She leaned forward squinting her eyes. The cover photo was of the outside of the tattoo studio and the profile picture of what Piper assumed was the latest tattoo done by the artist. Reading the description of the page she learnt that Alex was the owner of the studio and they specialised in tattoos, which was a given, piercings and laser tattoo removal.

Piper was impressed. She had known from the moment she met Alex that it was her dream to own her tattoo studio. Part of the reason she had taken the job as stock broker and worked her way up through promotions was so she could earn enough money to live off while she started her new business. Piper felt proud of what Alex seemed to have achieved. She had finally broken away from the job that was consuming her existence and took the plunge so to speak. When she was promoted, she seemed to forget the reason she took the job in the first place and that was the start of the couple falling apart. Piper had often reminded Alex of that during their arguments and brought up the fact that owning her own studio was all Alex could talk about when they first got together.

" _No Polly, I'm scared of needles. I don't want to," Piper said stubbornly, pulling her arm out of Polly's grip._

" _Oh come on Piper," Polly pleaded. "Just a small jigsaw piece on the inside of our wrists. It'll seal the friendship. Besides they aren't proper needles."_

 _Piper folded her arms across her chest and raised her eyebrows at the comment. Polly had been begging her for weeks to get a tattoo. She had a feeling this shopping trip Polly planned had just been a devious method to get her to the tattoo studio. She sighed and looked up at the building they were stood in front off. The word 'Tattoo' was up in lights at the side of the building. One of the letters kept flashing indicating a bulb change was needed, and a couple of others weren't lit at all so the word actually spelt out 'TATO'. She looked up and down the back street, the upper class side of her threatening to get the better of her._

" _Don't do that I know what you are thinking," Polly scolded. "This is a decent place inside. I found out when I popped in earlier."_

 _Piper Gasped, "I knew this 'desperate' shopping trip was just a clever ruse to get me here!"_

" _Oh c'mon," Polly grabbed Piper's arm again and pushed open the door to the studio despite Piper's protesting._

 _Polly went up to the reception desk and stated both of their names. Piper stood again, with her arms crossed, and looked around the studio. She had never been inside a place such as a tattoo parlour so she had no idea what to expect. The walls were painted a dark grey and every so often there was a chip in the wall where it needed redecorating. Her eyes widened when she heard a small sound like a drill and a scream of pain._

" _What is that Polly? I seriously don't like this," she whispered._

" _That's just the needle."_

" _And the scream?"_

" _Right I'm with a Big Boo," Polly chose not to answer Piper's question. "And you're with-"_

" _Me. Alex Vause."_

 _Piper took her eyes away from Polly and jumped at the interruption. She swallowed nervously and turned back to watch Polly being led to Big Boo's station._

" _I'm just going to need you to take a seat for a minute ok? I've got to sort something out a second."_

 _Piper nodded at Alex and took a seat by the window. She watched Alex intently while she chatted to the receptionist. She noticed the raven haired woman was already tattooed. She wondered if it was one of her colleagues that did it because it wasn't half bad. Alex moved her glasses from her head onto her face and leaned over the appointment book that was on the desk in front of her. She exchanged a few words with the receptionist and glanced over at Piper who blushed at being caught staring. She ignored Alex's knowing smirk and looked out of the window praying for the ground to swallow her up. A couple more minutes passed and with nerves getting the better of her, Piper stood up and headed for the door._

" _Don't panic, I'm here," Alex assured her chuckling as Piper was caught in the act. "Come with me, Kid."_

 _Piper dutifully followed Alex into a room out the back, away from the other customers. She was grateful but wondered why she wasn't being tattooed out the front. She took the seat that Alex offered to her and took a sip of the bottled water that she purchased before entering the studio. She placed the water into her bag and watched as Alex turned the back of her chair towards her and spread her legs on either side, folding her arms over the back staring intently at Piper as though daring her to look away. Piper maintained eye contact and broke the silence before she could get lost in those green pools._

" _I thought we'd be out there," she said timidly._

" _Usually, we would. But your friend Holly said you were really nervous so I figured you didn't need to be out there with everyone watching," Alex explained. "We tend to get potential customers who come in and gawk around the studio and a few even approach our clients so they can watch."_

" _I'm not nervous," Piper stated, not wanting to be seen as weak in front of the woman who appeared to be the epitome of cool. She was quite the opposite to Piper which is what made the blonde so intrigued by her._

 _Alex raised her eyebrows and laughed, "Ok whatever you say. So what do you want?"_

" _What do I want?" Piper repeated back to her._

" _What design of tattoo?" Alex laughed._

" _Oh erm, my friend wants us to get a jigsaw piece right here," Piper pointed to the inside of her wrist._

" _I'm asking you what you want, not what your friend wants you to get. Tell me, what do_ you _want?" Alex leaned forwards invading Piper's personal space. She licked her lips and Piper felt as though Alex was the predator and she was the prey._

 _Alex's actions caused Piper's voice to catch in her throat._

" _Erm," she stuttered._

" _Do you even want a tattoo at all?"_

 _Alex sighed with disappointment and gripped the sides of the chair ready to leave, when Piper caught hold of her. Alex looked down at the fingers on her wrist and Piper released her grip almost immediately._

" _S..S..sorry, I do. I do want a tattoo."_

" _You know if you aren't sure you don't need to have one."_

" _Look do you want the business or not?" Piper snapped, flabbergasted as to why Alex wouldn't just start the tattoo before her nerves got the better of her._

" _Fiesty. I like that in a woman," she winked._

 _Piper huffed and pushed back her chair. "Look if you aren't going to do it…"_

" _OK, OK I surrender," Alex held up her hands in mock defeat. "I just care about my potential clients, unlike the other arseholes that work here. Don't get me wrong I love what I do and want to own my own studio one day, I just hate this place. They only care about money and not what's best for their clients."_

 _Alex hung her head slightly and Piper took pity on her. She sat back down and pulled back her sleeve exposing her arm. She flung her bare arm under Alex's nose, breaking her from her thoughts, and she offered her a small smile._

" _Show me what you think would be best for me then."_

" _Ok," Alex smiled, excitement in her voice. "Do you mind where it is? I know you want it here, but I could do it right here instead."_

 _Piper's breath hitched as Alex traced her fingers from her wrist to the top of her lower arm. She couldn't explain the butterflies in her stomach, or the trail of goosebumps that those slender fingers left behind._

" _Or I could even…" her fingers continued their ascent up Piper's arm._

" _No. No, the wrist is fine," Piper squeaked as Alex unintentionally tickled her arm._

" _Ok just give me a few minutes to prepare. Come on over to this seat while I prepare the needles."_

 _Piper gulped at the mention of needles and followed Alex to her new seat that resembled a chair she usually saw at the dentist. She lay back and closed her eyes. She could hear the clanging of metal on metal as Alex readied her equipment._

" _Are you having colour?"_

 _Piper opened her eyes and pondered her answer. Polly hadn't mentioned colour only the jigsaw piece. Her hesitancy to answer wasn't missed by Alex._

" _Tell you what I can just do the outline then you can confer with your friend and decide if she wants you to get colour," she teased._

" _Oh ha ha," Piper commented sarcastically._

" _I wont bother with the transfer, it's only a small one so should be easy enough to do free hand."_

 _Piper nodded and waited for the needle inevitable first touch of the needle on her skin. Alex leaned forward and popped a pea sized amount of lotion on Piper's wrist and rubbed in a circular motion. It was relaxing. The blue tips of Alex's hair draped over Piper's fingers and she started to absent mindedly play with the hair. She was twisting the ends when she glanced at Alex wondering why she hadn't started. She was poised, needle in hand as she would if she was holding pen to paper._

" _Why haven't you started yet?"_

 _Alex looked down and Piper followed her line of sight to her own fingers combing through the blue tips. Alex raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and laughed at Piper's embarrassed reaction._

" _I didn't realise I was doing it, I'm just nervous."_

" _I thought you weren't nervous? And besides, I was rather enjoying it," she shrugged. "Just breathe ok, it's really not that bad. Sort of like a cat scratch."_

" _They fucking hurt!"_

" _Seriously?"_

" _Yeah. Look at this scar on my knee," Piper rolled up her trouser leg and pointed to the tiny scar she received from her grandmother's cat. "I had a hold of him and my grandmother decided to bring the vacuum cleaner out in front of him. He was terrified and the little shit dug his claws into my knee. It fucking hurt."_

 _Alex admired the tanned, toned legs and smiled at Piper's story. She really was a drama queen._

" _Right, you ready for this?" Alex pressed her foot on the pedal, causing the needle to buzz. "Feel free to play with my hair," she tried to put Piper at ease._

 _The instant the needle touched her skin Piper recoiled in horror._

" _Ow mother fucker!"_

 _Alex held up hands in self surrender, gun still buzzing loudly. She released her foot from the pedal and placed the gun onto the table next to her._

" _I knew you weren't ready," she stated knowingly, removing her latex gloves and placing them with the gun._

" _Argh Polly is going to kill me," Piper held her head in her hands._

" _Just tell her you changed your fucking mind."_

 _Piper looked at Alex as though that wasn't an option. Polly would never let her friend live it down if she didn't get a tattoo. Polly had wanted them to get one ever since their last couple of years in high school and she thought she had finally convinced Piper._

" _You could always tell her you got one on your ass instead and you're too shy to show her. Besides if you look closely, you'll see you've got a teeny, tiny little dot."_

 _Piper caught Alex's eye and they both burst into a fit of laughter._

 _"Oh seriously she'd never buy that. The dot yes, the ass noooo," she wiped tears of laughter away from her eyes._

 _Alex cleared away the equipment and Piper sat up and swung her legs over the side of the chair so she could stand. She brushed down her top for any unwanted creases and looked around the small room at the various designs that hung on the wall. She wondered if this was Alex's room or just a general go to room for the 'wimpy' clients as Piper thought of herself as. A few designs caught her eye, and she traced her fingers over one of the more impressive ones._

" _I loved doing that piece."_

 _Piper jumped as Alex's voice broke the silence. She turned around and Alex was stood directly behind her, almost pressing into her back._

 _"You did this?" she asked impressed by the detail that went into it. "I would never think of getting a camera as a tattoo. It's like me getting a tattoo of my iPhone."_

" _Not really," Alex shrugged. "Each tattoo or work of art is personal to each individual. This person could be into photography or maybe a family member passed away and he wanted a tattoo of what this person really loved. Each design is unique to the person."_

" _You intrigue me Alex Vause," Piper admitted. "You come across as this cocky, self assured woman with that irritating yet endearing smirk, then the next minute you can be really deep and so passionate about what you do. Who are you?"_

" _I'm me," Alex smirked for Piper's benefit. She inched closer and whispered into Piper's ear. "I think you'll like all of me."_

 _Piper closed her eyes at the close contact and breathed in Alex's perfume. She could almost come undone just being in the presence of this mysterious woman. She didn't trust herself to turn her head towards Alex for fear of kissing her._

" _I'd better go," she said reluctantly. Polly will probably be waiting."_

 _She picked up her bag and hung it off her shoulder before Alex reached forward and thrust a business card into Piper's hand._

" _If you change your mind on that tattoo, give me a call. I promise to do a good job and I'll be very,_ very _gentle with you."_

Piper smiled at the memory of her first meeting with Alex. She'd changed since then, they both had. She clicked onto the description of the page and read it with keen eyes.

 _ **Vause Tattoo & Piercing studio, based in the heart of New York City. Leading Tattoo artist Alex Vause and her junior tattooist, Nicky Nichols will be more than happy to have a one to one consultation with you. We operate on an appointment system so book early to avoid any disappointment. You are more than welcome to bring in your own design or we can design one that is unique to you at no extra cost. **_

_**Lorna Morello offers all types of piercings and has been doing so since 2008. We have a range of body jewellery and can order in different items for your specific needs.**_

"So _that's_ how Lorna knows Nicky," Piper commented.

She looked at the photo of Alex next to her name. She was in the process of tattooing someone's arm when the picture was taken and she looked very focussed on the job. Piper noticed her upper left arm was covered in a tattoo. The top of her shoulder was of another pin up girl holding a couple of cards whilst she kneeled down on a roulette table. There were a couple of huge die in the background and the whole design screamed Alex. She couldn't see the colour of the tattoo as the photo was in black and white but she guessed most of it was probably shaded.

Piper typed the number to the studio in her phone and saved it to her contacts. She clicked the call button as Larry walked through the door returning Finn from their trip to the zoo.

She put her finger against her ear so she could focus on the dial tone when a familiar voice picked up the phone.

There was no mistaking that husky tone familiar husky tone. Piper's voice caught in her throat at the sound of it. She was lost for words.

"Hellooooo. Listen, if you're making prank calls buddy then it's your own money your wasting."

"Hey, Pipes guess who we saw…"

"Shit Larry," Piper swore and hung up the phone. She hoped Alex had hung up first and not heard Larry call her name. The last thing she wanted was for Alex to think she was being a stalker and prank calling the place where she works.

"What? What did I do?"

"I need you to do something for me. I need you to call this number, and say you need to book a consultation for your girlfriend."

"Vause tattoo studio. I'm sure I know that name, Vause. How'd I know that name?" he frowned in between crunching on some peanuts.

"It's a popular name. Listen will you please do this for me?"

Larry sighed and took the phone off her.

"Oh and don't give my name," she added. "Just make one up."

He nodded and held his hand up to silence her as the phone was picked up on the other end.

"Hi, yeah. I'd like to book a consultation for my girlfriend. Oh I'm not really sure what she wants she just knows she wants a tattoo. She's, ah, she's not aware I'm making the call. It's a surprise you see for our anniversary."

Piper rolled her eyes and motioned for Larry to get on with the conversation. He waved her away and crossed one arm over his mid section.

"You've had a cancellation and can see her tomorrow," he looked at Piper for confirmation. He took her eager nodding and fist pumping as a yes. "Name. Yeah it's Piper Bloom."

"No," Piper mouthed and dramatically dropped to her hands and knees.

"Ok that's great. Bye now."

"You said my name."

"What? I didn't use your real name. You're Chapman, remember? Get up off the floor," he laughed helping her to her feet.

"You don't understand. She can't think it's me."

"Who?"

"Huh?" Piper called feigning ignorance as she walked over to the pram to check on Finn.

"Who can't know it's you?"

"Hey Finny, Winny, Winny," she cooed holding him up in the air.

"Piper!"

"What? Oh it's an old school friend. I'm trying to surprise her. I found out today she moved back to New York and opened her own tattoo place."

Larry looked at her suspiciously and shook his head, not understanding why she needed an appointment if she really was going to just surprise a friend. She ignored his presence and continued to pay attention to Finn who was due a feed. Larry made his way to the kitchen and prepared the milk and bottles to save Piper the effort. He returned to the living room and leaned on the edge of the doorway, watching both her and Finn lovingly.

"Right I'm going to head off. And before you ask," he raised his hand so Piper wouldn't interrupt him. "Yes I will look after Finn tomorrow."

"Thanks Larry," She smiled gratefully.

"Bye little man and Bye Pipes."

Piper brought in the baby bottle from the kitchen and sat down on the sofa to nurse Finn with his milk. She leaned one arm on a cushion to give her extra support with Finn's head and used her other to feed him his bottle. Over the past few days, Finn had turned into a confidant for Piper. Seeing as she no longer had her best friend to talk to, she used the next being closest to her, even if he couldn't give her advice and only gurgled or cried in response, and right now was no different.

"Auntie Piper is going to see the nice lady who saved your life, yes she is. She's going to see her, make everything right and they can be happy again. Auntie Piper will make it right."

She smiled as Finn drifted off to sleep, and Piper followed not long after.


	5. Spilled Coffee

**Here is the next instalment. I have a couple of ideas over where to take this and one idea in particular will be quite tough so going to have to do a couple of practise chapters to see if I can do it justice. I did read over the chapter for mistakes a couple of times but I have been typing ALOT today so I apologise if it seems forced in parts.**

 **Guest - I hope this chapter clears up any confusion. Thanks for the review :)**

 **Thanks again to all the reviewers, readers and the people who favourite and follow.**

* * *

Piper awoke from her sleep tangled up in the bed sheets. With bleary eyes, she turned the digital clock towards her and was surprised to see it was only a little after 6 am. She listened out intently to see if it had been Finn that had roused her from her sleep but the silence confirmed he hadn't. It was then that she felt the wave of excitement and nerves as she remembered the appointment that she had managed to get with Alex. Excitement over seeing her and nerves over what might occur.

She stretched her arms and detangled herself from the sheets. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment and her eyes cast upon her jogging bottoms and an old t shirt that were strewn over the top of her open wardrobe door. She placed them on and proceeded to the living room where she put on an exercise DVD. She couldn't go for her early morning run so she did the next best thing.

She had only worked up a small sweat before the baby monitor started lighting up. She paused the DVD and listened for any sound of Finn crying. Deciding not to take a chance, she headed upstairs to fetch him from his crib. She welcomed the excuse, as her fitness levels had dropped dramatically since Polly's accident. She would have felt guilty if she had given up without a viable reason.

Piper fed Finn and was getting them both ready for the day when Larry called out for Piper.

"In the kitchen," she hollered.

She continued to root through the clean washing for fresh clothes for Finn, ignoring Larry's presence behind her. She heard the sound of metal being dropped onto a surface and she knew Larry had flung his keys on the kitchen counter.

"You should really start knocking though, Larry," she scolded. "I know it's Polly's home but this is where I live, albeit temporarily."

"It doesn't have to be," he stated, longingly.

She sighed and moved past him so she could clothe Finn who was in his bouncer in the living room. She smiled as he chewed on his toy, his eyes fixated on the cartoon that was playing on the TV.

Larry leaned on the door frame in the same way that he had done the previous night. Piper was oblivious and expertly changed Finn's diaper and dressed him in his fresh clothes. Placing him back into his bouncer, she kissed his forehead and told him to be good. Piper turned to Larry, his cheeks turning a light crimson shade at being caught staring at the blonde. He followed her into the hallway where she sat on the bottom stair, putting on her comfortable shoes.

"He's due his next feed at 12. Do _not_ forget or he _will_ be cranky," she pointed accusingly towards Larry.

"Ok, ok, I got it Pipes. Jeez."

He grabbed her wrist and pushed her towards the front door. As she began her next sentence, she found herself pushed outside and the door closed behind her. She stumbled slightly and frowned.

"Well that's rude," she shouted through the open window.

Checking the time on her wrist watch, Piper headed towards the bus stop, a whole 3 hours before her appointment was due. She had opted for public transport rather than her car. She was in no mood to have her nerves messed around with whilst she encountered the inevitable road rage at the hands of the rush hour traffic. She'd sooner watch someone else get riled up about other motorists while she could sit back and watch.

The bus arrived ten minutes later than expected, the ridiculous amount of bodies on the bus being an explanation as to why it was delayed. Despite the amount of people, she miraculously found a seat near the back of the bus. The young teen she sat next to was bopping his head away to the music he was listening to through his earphones, much to Piper's relief. She had a desire to get lost in her thoughts and didn't want her fellow passenger to interrupt her by making polite conversation.

Piper moved aside to allow the enough room for the teen to squeeze past her when the bus arrived at his stop. She immediately scooted across to the recently vacated seat so she could sit by the window and watch the world go by. settling down, she plugged her earphones into her cell and scrolled through various songs, creating a play list to listen to on the rest of her journey. The blonde hummed slightly to the tune that was playing, and tapped her finger on her knee in time to the beat. She was completely oblivious to her surroundings and the amount of times the bus driver had to honk his horn. Had she noticed she would have been so glad she opted to wait for the bus.

Before she knew it, Piper had arrived in one of the main hotspots of New York. She followed the crowd of people off the bus and placed her phone and earphones back in her bag. She wasn't 100% sure of the studio's precise location. She looked around helplessly before her eyes landed on the coffee shop where she had thought she had seen Alex stood one time. Looking back on it now, she decided she probably hadn't been going mad and Alex hadn't actually been a figment of her imagination.

Piper entered the coffee shop and joined the orderly queue. She placed her order and asked for it in a take away cup just in case she lost track of time and had to head off sooner than expected. She stuck one of the small wooden sticks into her drink and stirred as she looked for directions to the studio on her phone. It estimated it would take approximately ten minutes if she was walking. That gave her just under 90 minutes if she wanted to be prompt. She congratulated herself at leaving the bus at the correct stop.

She passed the time by browsing through her phone and people watching, which used to be her and Polly's favourite thing to do. They would love making up stories about peoples lives, even though they never found out if their outrageous stories were accurate. Based on some of the crazy stories they came up with, Piper surmised they probably weren't accurate.

Piper knew she would be cutting it fine but decided to queue up for one more cup of coffee. The barista placed on the flimsy plastic lid and she snatched it off the counter before he could hand it to her. As she reached for the door handle, someone beat her to it on the other side and barged through, causing her boiling hot cup of coffee to spill onto her bare chest. She hissed as the liquid scalded her chest, causing a red mark to appear instantly.

"Get out of my fucking way," she growled and pushed past the group of guffawing teenage boys as they laughed at her predicament.

"Shit," she exclaimed, looking down at her ruined top.

Piper walked through the street fanning her top, hoping for it to dry before she got to the studio. She stopped to rummage through her bag, holding up the scarf she found, triumphantly. It would do just the job at hiding the stain and mark on her skin.

Catching sight of the building, Piper didn't know how she had missed it before. It was only a few hundred feet from the coffee shop. All this time Alex had been there and she hadn't known it. She adjusted her scarf in effort to cover the burn and a portion of the coffee stain. The silky fabric irritated her skin as she could feel it scraping against what were probably going to be blisters, but it was bearable for now. She walked up to the door and pulled on the handle. She took a look around the impressive studio and it was apparent, even just by first glance, that it was so much more welcoming than the tattoo parlour Alex had started out in. it looked a lot more cleaner and sanitary. The flooring consisted of black shiny tiles, that glimmered and sparkled in the light and the walls were a magnolia colour with an occasional quote in fancy black font. Parts of the wall were adorned in different artworks. There were a couple of steps a few feet away from the front door, which led to what Piper assumed where each tattooists station. The wall to the left was adorned in a mixture of different designs, each one of them unique. She noticed the camera on display that she had seen in Alex's old workplace, so she knew that must have been the raven haired woman's station. The one opposite was quite a contrast with watercolour being a predominant feature in each of the pictures. Piper was impressed.

"Can I help you?"

Piper turned to the owner of the voice, a wave of nostalgia flooding over her body. She knew that accent anywhere.

"Oh my god Piper Chapman," the brunette squealed as she caught a look at Piper's face.

Lorna ran around the desk as fast as her high wedged shoes would allow, and engulfed Piper into a hug, kissing her cheek as she did so.

The exchange gained the attention of the entire studio, including Alex who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. She was speaking on her phone in the corner of the room, and pierced Piper with an intense stare. Piper tried to avoid eye contact with her until necessary and gave her old acquaintance her full attention. Piper learned from the greeting that Lorna Morello hadn't changed one bit despite splitting up from the love of her life. She was still excitable as ever.

She chatted animatedly to Piper about her break up with Christopher and how, when she refused to leave their home, he tried to file a lawsuit against her for stalking him.

"I mean, maybe I shouldn't have been in his bath tub while he and his new slut of a girlfriend were out of the house but I practically owned that it ya know?"

Piper nodded in agreeance to pacify the a hysterical Lorna. It was safe to say her feeling bad for being Facebook stalker of the evening was completely gone after hearing a true stalker story.

"Anyway, what's new with you?"

"Well, I'm-"

"Married! You're Mrs Piper Bloom!" she exclaimed rather loudly.

Piper panicked and hoped Alex hadn't overheard the conversation. She looked over towards her station but the raven haired woman was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment and relief flooded Piper. Even though there was a chance Alex had probably taken the call from Larry booking her appointment, she hoped Alex didn't put 2 and 2 together and come up with 3. Piper at least needed a chance to explain herself.

"I saw the name in the book and the saw you and I have to admit, there were times when I would look at you two and think…m'eh. "

Piper raised her eyebrows in amusement.

"You two just didn't seem suited and I used to tell that to Christopher whenever we were at those staff parties. But I guess appearances aren't everything and there's obviously something drawing you two together…"

"Foot in mouth disease Lorna."

"Oh Piper, this is Nicky," she said, stroking the arm that was draped possessively over her shoulder.

"Blondie," Nicky nodded her greeting, in between chewing her gum. "You're my 12 o'clock."

"I'm sorry?" Piper asked, slightly confused.

Nicky released Lorna so she could prepare for her client that was due any moment. She reached her arm behind her for the diary as she leaned on the desk, her eyes skimming the page for Piper's name.

"Yeah Piper Bloom," she looked up to make sure Lorna was out of earshot. "12pm - Nicky. What can't speak can't lie."

"Well where's Alex? I saw her a few minutes ago," Piper asked, slightly crestfallen.

"She's ah…busy shall we say. She's finding it hard keeping her hands to herself. Her girlfriend is just…"

"Her girlfriend?" Piper interrupted, any chance of a reconciliation flying out of the window. She could feel her eyes start to water so she blinked a couple of times hoping her disappointment didn't show.

"Yeah her girlfriend is one hot piece of ass."

"And her friend, is a liar."

Piper's head shot up at the sound of the husky voice and prayed that the girlfriend insinuation was Nicky's ploy to wind her up.

"Hey I'm no liar," Nicky protested.

"Well what's this then?" Alex snatched the diary out of Nicky's reach. "Piper Bloom. 12pm. Alex. It's there in pink and white."

"Fucking Lorna with her pink pens," Nicky cursed, having nothing else to say on the matter after being busted.

Alex smiled triumphantly and walked over to her station. Nicky gave Piper a push in the right direction, literally and told her to follow Alex.

"You can sit down you know," Alex offered Piper the seat opposite her. "I don't bite."

Piper could see the lustful glint in Alex's eyes and a bit of the hope that had been diminished after speaking to Nicky resurfaced. She sat for a moment not knowing what to say. She had rehearsed this scenario over and over in her head ever since Larry had made the appointment, and now that she was there, everything she envisaged seemed to have completely vanished from her memory.

"Does your girlfriend?"

 _Does you girlfriend bite? What the fuck?_ Piper closed her eyes the moment the word vomit escaped from her lips and she bit on her lower lip, furious with herself. To her surprise, Alex laughed.

"I like a girl who bites."

"You didn't answer my question."

Alex sighed, and removed her glasses, placing them on the surface next to her rather than her head, which used to be her habit.

"You're here for a consultation Pipes, not to ask about my personal life."

Piper nodded, disliking how Alex put her in her place without answering her question. If Piper was honest she knew she had no right to be asking the question in the first place. She felt a damp line being drawn on her cheek and frowned, looking at Alex with quizzical eyes. She held up her thumb to Piper.

"You just wiped your blood on my face?!" Piper exclaimed disgusted.

"What. God no. It's lipstick you idiot," Alex laughed, her husky rasp sounding like soft music to Pipers ears. "Lorna has a habit of kissing people she knows and as you can tell she wears a lot of lipstick."

Piper blushed at the realisation as she thought back to Lorna's greeting. She grabbed at the scarf and dipped it into the glass of used water on the side and started wiping at her cheek.

"What's that?" Alex frowned. She reached for her glasses and placed them on her face so she could get a better look at the mark.

"What's what?" Piper followed Alex's line of sight down to her chest. "This? Oh it's nothing."

"It's not nothing Pipes. Did he," Alex swallowed some of her anger, as Piper placed the scarf back on her chest. "Did _he_ do this to you?"

"Larry? No nothing like that. I went to the coffee shop earlier and some guys opened the door when I wasn't expecting and I spilt my drink. No big deal. "

"It doesn't look right. Did you even clean it up properly?" Alex reached out a finger and gently stroked the inflamed area. Had it not been so painful to the touch, Piper would have moaned with longing rather than wince, which she did a little too loudly when Alex touched an overly sensitive part.

Alex retracted her finger as though she'd been burnt herself and apologised. She stood up and offered Piper her hand. The blonde hesitated, but unable to resist the chance for any kind of physical contact with Alex, she accepted the offering.

"Where are we going?"

"Sorting out that chest of yours," Alex replied.

They walked up a flight of stairs and reached a locked brown door. Alex rummaged in her pocket for the keys and fiddled with the lock, cursing about her need for a new one seeing as it always took her a couple of attempts to open.

Piper noticed Alex still had a firm grip on her hand. She hadn't realised how much she had missed the softness and smoothness of Alex's hand until the moment Alex dragged her upstairs. She had become so used to Larry's rough, calloused hands, that she had forgotten what it felt like to hold a woman's hand.

They made their way through the doorway and were instantly in the kitchen, which led on through to the living room. The curtains were still drawn despite it being midday, plunging the room into semi darkness.

Alex dropped Piper's hand who missed the contact as soon as she let go. She started rummaging through the freezer for presumably something cold for the burn. While she was looking for whatever she was looking for, Piper took the opportunity to walk around the room. She recognised a few of Alex's things like the framed photograph of her and her mom on the side table, and the familiar leather jacket that was lay on the arm of the chair. The living space was small but Piper liked it.

"You live here?"

"I sometimes crash here, but no I don't live here. The studio came with this pokey place above it," Alex closed the freezer door with her foot and walked over to Piper.

"It's not pokey, I like it. It's cosy," Piper smiled.

Alex gently pulled Piper towards her and with her hand firmly on the blonde's back, she used her other to place the small bag of ice she prepared on her chest. Piper flinched from the moment the ice touched her skin, berating herself for not even bothering to use the coffee shop toilet to clean herself up. Then again, she wouldn't be in this position with Alex holding her so close if she had. If Alex could feel how fast Piper's heart was beating, she never said. Instead she removed the bag of ice after a minute and checked to see if the redness had gone down. Mid inspection, Piper placed her hand on Alex's and closed her eyes as she put the hand back in it's position.

"Please stay like this," Piper whispered. "It feels good."

Piper didn't care that her words had a double meaning and she didn't care if Alex knew it. She wanted to be held by the raven haired woman she had longed for ever since she took her suitcases and ran.

Alex didn't respond, but she did obey and stay in the same position. Piper let the silence surround them until it became to unbearable and the thoughts on a constant loop in her mind threatened to surface.

"You never called," Piper whispered,

"No."

"Why?" Piper asked timidly, her eyes firmly fixed on Alex's locket that was resting on her chest.

Alex sighed and released her grip slightly, "I was angry."

"And now?"

"Now," she stepped back and leaned her face close to the burn on Piper's chest so she could inspect it properly. "Now I'm not _as_ angry, but I _am_ concerned about this god damn burn. Looks as though it's starting to swell."

She gave Piper the homemade ice pack to hold herself and rummaged through one of the cupboards above the sink. She reached down an old battered tin and opened it up to reveal a few medical essentials, including an anti septic cream.

"Use this," Alex took hold of Piper's index finger and squirted on a blob of the cream. "Just give it a thin layer."

Piper started to dab at her chest while Alex put the tin back in the cupboard. She raised her eyebrows when Piper handed her back the tube.

"You've done a terrible job Pipes. That's nowhere near enough. Come here."

She smoothed out the cream that was already on Piper's chest and added another thin layer. She screwed the top on the tube and handed it to Piper.

"Take this, I think you'll need it."

"Oh no it's ok," Piper shook her head.

"You need to look after the burn so take it."

"No it's ok. I have some at home for when Finn gets diaper rash."

"Right, of course. Finn," Alex frowned.

"Alex…"

"We should be getting back downstairs. Nicky's mind will be working overtime with all those naughty assumptions of us."

Piper nodded and followed Alex, noting how she didn't take her hand this time. They reached the bottom step and could hear Lorna trying to encourage her client who was in the private room.

"Genital piercing," Alex whispered.

"Oh," Piper looked mortified. "They actually do that?"

Alex nodded, "Just wait for the scream."

As if perfectly rehearsed, a scream rang out through the closed door, causing both women to laugh at Alex's correct prediction. She wasn't sure laughing at one of the clients was professional of Alex, but Piper was just glad that it alleviated some of the tension floating between them. Piper should have told her upstairs in the flat that Finn wasn't her baby, but then that meant speaking about the entire situation with Polly. Larry wasn't a problem. She could quite easily tell Alex that they were over, but then how would Alex react? Piper knew that Alex thought Piper had left her for Larry, so, in Alex's eyes, she would have left her heart broken for nothing. It obviously wasn't why she had left Alex at all. She had left because it was the right thing to do. When Larry leaned in to kiss her that fateful night at the bar, Piper had pushed him away and wandered the streets of Paris on her own to think. Alex had confronted her about what she saw the next day, and despite Piper telling the whole story and protesting her innocence, Alex hadn't believed her. Piper couldn't give a crap at that point whether she was believed or not. In her eyes, their relationship was dead. A furious argument ensued, and it was then that Alex broke down and begged Piper to stay, because she so desperately needed her.

 _"Please Piper. I'll do anything. Anything you want."_

 _"Move Alex. You obviously don't trust me so this isn't going to work. Now move aside."_

 _Piper fought her way around Alex, as the raven haired woman spread her whole body across the door, her hand firmly on the handle. Alex stumbled to the side and watched on helplessly as she was about the lose another important person in her life._

 _"My mom died. She had some kind of, urgh, I don't know something that killed her. Please stay with me." Sobs racked through Alex's body, leaving her unable to talk. Voicing out the fact that her mom was dead made it a reality._

 _"You are sick. You have thrown excuse after excuse for me to stay but this," Piper shook her head in disgust. "This is low, even for you."_

 _Piper slammed the door and slid down the back of it, head between her knees and sobbing hard as she had ever sobbed before, unaware that Alex was in the exact same position on the other side of the door. It was only a few weeks later that Piper had found out that it hadn't been some kind of evil scheme for her to stay. She had ran from someone she claimed to have loved during her hour of need and even accused her of lying. Piper had realised then that she was the low one, and not Alex._

Both women walked past Nicky's station, and despite the fact she was in the middle of tattooing someone, she still found the time to look up at the pair of them and throw a sly wink at Alex.

"Shut it," she mouthed to her friend who simply shook her head and cackled in response.

Alex walked over to the reception desk and double checked the diary, a frown on her face.

"Strange. Lorna didn't ask for your number when you made the appointment?"

"It wasn't me who made it, but I guess if it's not there then she didn't."

"Hmmm. Well I'd best make a note of it. We follow up after consultations to see if people want to go ahead and book their tattoo. It helps if we don't have a busy week. It sometimes brings the customers in," Alex explained.

Piper narrowed her eyes in suspicion but wrote down her number in the diary anyway. She turned the book back around to face Alex, smiling as she subconsciously traced her fingers over fresh ink.

"Thank you Alex," she said. "Thank you for looking after me. You seem to be saving my ass a lot lately. Twice in a week?"

Alex smiled. "Anytime, Kid. Listen, I was thinking about-"

Both women jumped as somebody banged on the window rather loudly. Alex cursed at the initial shock before her eyes narrowed at the perpetrator. Larry was stood holding Finn, using the baby's arm to wave at the blonde. The glee on his face turned to what could only be described as pure shock when his eyes met Alex's.

"God damn it," Piper whispered and took a deep breath in, lifting her head to the ceiling. She didn't dare look at Alex as she exited the studio, scared of the repulsion she would see residing in her eyes.

She grabbed Larry aggressively by his elbow and dragged him out of sight of the studio.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she hissed.

"We just came to surprise you. We thought we'd drive here and save you getting the bus back. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what Larry?" she snapped, using two fingers of each hand to massage her temple.

"Vause. I knew recognised the name. It's her. It's Alex. Alex Vause."

"Well observed."

"Are you dating? Are you back together?"

"No ok. Just leave it."

Piper waited for Larry to open the car and strapped Finn into his seat. Despite Larry's protests, she sat in the back of the car with the unsettled youngster. She didn't need to ask why Finn was uncomfortable. She knew Larry wouldn't have fed him on time as she requested. She reached into his changing bag and lifted out a bottle of milk.

"Is this fresh?"

Larry nodded and swore as a driver cut him up and caused him to swerve. Piper had some kind of grim satisfaction at the road rage Larry was experiencing, revelling in his frustration. She couldn't get that moment with Alex back and chances are she probably would never know what she was about to say to her when Larry interrupted. His frustration was her moral victory.

She was broken from her train of thought by her phone that started buzzing in her pocket. She lifted up in her seat slightly she could get the device out of her pocket easier. Half expecting the message to be one from her network provider or a delayed one coming through from Larry, her eyes lit up with the surprise text she was reading on screen.

 **Sender Unknown: I realised I didn't get to have a proper consultation with you. Shall I pen you in for the same day and time next week? Alex**

Being one handed feeding Finn, she found it difficult to reply and Larry's bumpy ride didn't help matters. She managed to muster up a quick reply telling Alex that same time next week would be perfect for her.

The prospect of seeing Alex again so soon caused a genuine smile, which had been a rare occurrence as of late. Piper had grown tired of having to force her lips to turn upwards for the benefit of keeping up appearances. It wasn't much, but Piper knew it was a start.


	6. Stop being a pussy

**Well this chapter has been the bane of my life. I am visiting my parents at the minute and my mum's laptop decided to turn on with the dreaded blue screen AFTER I had typed up 4,000** **words of the chapter. After a lot of cursing and disc checks I finally managed to get on the darn thing and finish this. It wasn't actually supposed to end where it did but then again the chapter was only originally planned to be 3,000 words and it's doubled. I unintentionally put in a quote from Skins so if any Skins fans spot it...Well done :) The chapter starts off with a recap of the previous chapter from Alex's perspective so hope it doesn't come across as confusing.**

 **Thank you all for the reviews, I apologise if I didn't reply to any this time but I really do appreciate them. As usual, I apologise for any mistakes**

Alex fixated her glare on the space that Larry and Piper had just vacated, or rather, the space where Piper had furiously dragged Larry from. Alex had finally thought she was letting go of some of the hostility that she still held towards the blonde, but seeing Larry stood there waiting like a dutiful husband, only brought the anger bubbling back to the surface. After leading Piper back downstairs from her apartment, she had felt as though they were taking a step in the right direction - a step forward. All of that progress was for nothing the instant that infuriating man knocked on the window.

Alex dropped her elbows onto the desk and scraped her hair back in frustration, holding her head in her hands.

 _Fucking_ Larry and _fucking_ Piper.

She just _knew_ something like this would happen.

When she took the silent call the previous day, and heard a man call Piper's name, she had dropped the phone as though it were burning into her skin. She hung up straight away and stared at the device. Piper wasn't a common name, so Alex bet her life on the fact that it was indeed her Piper. No, not _her_ Piper. Piper Chapman, or as she learned later, Piper Bloom, the one who ran away with Alex's heart. She was still waiting for it back.

She noticed Lorna had taken an appointment for a Piper Bloom and Alex's first thought was that she had to cancel. It was a no brainer. She picked up the phone ready to dial the number, cursing quietly to herself when there was no number on the page for her to dial. Various possibilities ran through her mind. She could just not turn up to the appointment, leaving her client which wouldn't look very professional on the off chance it wasn't actually the blonde she was expecting. She could pass her on to Nicky if Nicky hadn't had a client whose tattoo sleeve needed completing, although she wasn't sure she would trust Nicky to keep her mouth shut anyway, now that she knew exactly who Piper was. On the other hand she could just man the fuck up and plaster on that Alex Vause confidence, which seemed to disappear whenever she was in the presence of Piper.

It was a Tuesday when Piper walked, mesmerised, into the studio. Against Alex's will, her stomach started doing somersaults and the raven haired woman did her best to supress a smile at her presence. She heard Lorna's excited squeal and was surprised that the brunette seemed to know Piper quite well. She wasn't however, surprised to hear that Piper was married, but it didn't mean it hurt any less. The knife still twisted into her gut, leaving her with an unpleasant squirm. Married with a kid, exactly what Piper's mom had always wanted for her. Alex escaped to the sanctity of Lorna's private room and slammed the door, leaning up against it and closing her eyes. She was startled to see the bushy mane of her friend stood in front of her when she opened her eyes, a concerned look etched on Nicky's features. Alex only had whisper one word: "Piper," and Nicky understood.

She grabbed Alex by her shoulders, as if shaking some sense into her. "You are Alex fucking Vause. You go out there and show her what the fuck she has missed out on."

"I can't," Alex shook her head.

"That's it, leave it with me."

"What?"

"Just go with it."

With a wink, Nicky opened the door and pushing Alex to one side, headed over to her girlfriend and Piper. Alex observed the exchange between Piper and Nicky, leaning her body on the door frame whilst crossing her arms. She found she couldn't stand by and watch the crestfallen look on Piper's face whilst Nicky fed her lies about Alex's current relationship status. Heeding Nicky's advice, she stood tall and despite the nerves that were coming close to eliciting a flight response, she plastered on the confidence that made Alex the mysterious one to most people. Alex intervened and rescued Piper from Nicky's bullshit and it was when they were seated that she noticed the burn. She didn't _need_ to take Piper into her flat. It would have been so much easier to go upstairs for some ice and treat the burn at her station, but where her ex was concerned, all rational thought left the building. She wanted to, no _needed,_ to pull Piper close to her, despite her head telling her it was a bad idea. She compromised and pulled Piper flush against her body, with the pretence that she was helping her with the burn.

Her heart fluttered at the close contact, and it was with a lot of will power that she didn't kiss Piper, no matter how much those blue eyes were filled with lust and need. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't be the other woman, especially when such intense feelings were involved. The mention of Finn brought Alex back down to earth with an almighty bump, but despite that she still wanted to see Piper. The little white lie she told Piper about needing her number to follow up on the appointment was easy. She just knew that Piper was aware it was a complete fabrication but she was grateful she went along with it and didn't challenge her as to why she didn't have her number anyway, thinking back to the receipt she screwed up just over a week ago. Ready to ask Piper if she was still up for taking her out for that drink, Alex was thwarted in her attempt by that god damn, incessant knocking on the window.

Alex jumped as Nicky clapped a hand on her shoulder, breaking Alex from her haunting thoughts.

"That's rough, man. Take it that's the husband?"

Alex didn't answer, unwilling to get into a conversation that would cause Nicky to offer sympathy to her plight. It was so out of character for Nicky to be anything other than crazy or vulgar and she didn't think she could handle it. She walked through to the back, grabbing her jacket and helmet. Nicky positioned herself in front of the door, and blocked Alex's path.

"You don't get to do this, Vause. You don't get to run away again."

"Calm the fuck down Nichols. I'm just going for a ride, I swear."

Nicky narrowed her eyes, obvious distrust residing in them. "Listen, I get that she's married and got whole white picket fence and all that shit, but when has that ever stopped you before?"

"That's not what this is about, I Just need some air."

"This is _Piper_ ," Nicky grabbed Alex's shoulders, mimicking her own actions from earlier. "Stop ignoring it and fight for her. I saw that fucking look in her eyes when I told her you had a girlfriend. It's obvious she ain't happy with this guy and having you back could be just what she needs. It could be what you both need."

"It's not that simple," Alex sighed.

"Why the fuck not? Talk to me."

"Talk to you, ok? I've got all of these conflicting _fucking_ emotions, so much so I am worried my head is going to literally explode," Alex admitted. "Piper has a child, she's married and she's the perfect daughter her mother always wanted her to be. When we were together I lost count of the amount of times she would come to me sobbing her heart out because her mom wouldn't accept us; wouldn't accept Piper. I can't destroy that for her."

"Bullshit," Nicky commented, folding her eyes across her chest, a raised eyebrow challenging Alex to say what she was really feeling.

"It's not bullshit, Nicky," Alex protested angrily.

"Not bullshit? Whatever. Blondie there is the love of your life and you are sacrificing it for some WASPy bitch whose version of a hard day is having to cancel a fucking pedicure appointment. How noble of you. Why don't you tell me what it's really about?" Nicky challenged, fully aware she was pushing Alex's buttons.

"I'm fucking scared ok," Alex snapped. "If by some miracle, Piper and I try again and I can get my head around this baby, then the day will come when I have to tell her about the drugs, where I've been and why. I don't think that's something she would forgive so easily."

Nicky nodded, forcing down her triumphant know it all smirk. Her goading with the sole intention to force an admission from Alex had been a success and purely for the benefit of Alex more than anything else.

"And that's not a chance worth taking, no?"

Alex ignored the question and pushed past Nicky who didn't try to stop her this time. The warm air hit her as she stepped outside and walked towards her motorcycle. She placed the helmet on her head and stuffed her jacket under the seat, deeming it too warm for her to be wearing long sleeves. She had a destination in mind, so she started the engine, feeling the adrenaline as it roared into life, and drove to the florist nearest to the cemetery. She purchased the biggest bunch of flowers available - Lillies, her mom's favourite. She walked the last mile to the cemetery, not wanting to damage the overly large bunch of flowers by putting them in her seat. She had visited her mother's grave once since she returned to New York a few months ago. She did have a slight twinge of guilt and regret but she knew her mom would understand.

Whenever she was in desperate need of motherly advice, Alex would find herself drawn to the cemetary, the weather beaten stone of the grave making her feel closer to her mom in a way. She walked aimlessly past the grave at first. It was usually easy to spot, being the only one in the vicinity without flowers. This time, however, there was a bunch of lillies, slightly smaller than her own, resting in a glass bottle that was being used as a makeshift vase. Frowning, she set down her bunch of flowers, and picked out the small envelope that was nestled securely in the mysterious bunch of flowers. The flowers had already started to wilt and turn a light shade of brown, so Alex guessed the mystery visitor must have left them a couple of weeks ago at least.

There was no writing on the envelope, so with curious fingers she opened it up and scanned her eyes across the paper. Her eyes widened as she recognised the neat handwriting and the nickname. There was only one person that she knew called her mom, Mrs.V

 ** _Hey Mrs V._**

 ** _I'm sorry it's been a while but a few things have happened lately, which I am sure you are aware of. I guess I need some guidance and it's time like these I miss your words of wisdom. I know exactly what you would do now. You would give me one of those wonderful hugs and tell me to "Fuck the world." Why can't my mother be like you? I feel like I am drowning and there is nobody to rescue me. I can be surrounded by a sea of people and yet I still feel completely alone. I need someone I can talk to. Someone to understand me. Someone who just gets me. I obviously can't speak to Polly and things between Larry and I are so fraught right now. If it wasn't for Finn, I wouldn't be so tolerant of him. I hope you're showing Pete around up there. I don't doubt you are both having a few drinks, watching over us. I miss you both._**

 ** _Love and hugs, P. xoxoxox_**

Alex folded the letter back up and placed it carefully in her pocket. She wondered who Pete was but one thing she was sure of was that he was someone very important to Piper. Reading between the lines, he had only recently passed on. She wiped at her eyes and knelt down on the grass, discarding the old flowers and replacing them with her fresh bunch. She had no idea Piper knew where the grave was, let alone visited. She was touched that the blonde had visited and written to her mother, even after everything. She was obviously in need of some guidance too, and it seemed she still wasn't getting any support from her own mother which had initially surprised Alex. Maybe their problems ran deeper than her mother's desperate need for Piper to be an exact replica of her - a clone. Alex spent her time at the graveside talking quietly to her mom, her main focus being the feelings that were in danger of crushing her and destroying her very being.

Feeling a couple of raindrops fall onto her bare arms, Alex deemed it was her cue to return to the studio. She made the trek back to her bike and reached under the seat for her jacket even though she was already wet from walking a mile to get to the motorcycle.

Upon arriving at the studio, she peered through the window and noticed Nicky leaning on the desk, playing on what looked like Alex's own, rather large phone.

"What are you doing with my phone?"

Nicky jumped as she was made aware of Alex's presence and guility handed over the phone, knowing she would be even more annoyed if she teased her with it, by holding it out of her reach. She watched Alex eyes widen as she read the contents of the message.

"You text Piper?"

"Yeah I text Piper, seeing as you are being too much of a pussy," Nicky stated, standing her ground, never being one to shy away from the truth.

"Same time next week isn't perfect," Alex muttered under her breath.

 _I need someone I can talk to._ The words of pure desperation in the letter came back to Alex, and it was those simple words that encouraged her to swipe the call button and bring the phone up to her ear.

"Ah come on Vause. You can't cancel-"

Alex raised a finger, summoning Nicky to silence. The phone rang out a few times before a breathless Piper picked up, curiosity in her voice as she greeted the caller.

"Hey Pipes," the familiar affectionate nickname rolled easily off her tongue before she could stop it.

"Oh hey, Alex."

Alex smiled at the perkiness in her voice once Piper realised who was calling her.

"Listen, I know I said same time next week but that's not really good for me."

Alex stuck her middle finger up at Nicky as she mouthed the word 'pussy' towards her friend. Turning her back on Nicky, she awaited Piper's response.

"Oh okay, well what about the day after?"

"No, not so good either."

"The day after that?"

"Hmmm not so much," Alex teased, enjoying the reaction of Piper getting frustrated each time she rebuffed her.

"You know what, maybe we should just forget it Alex because you aren't being very cooperative with me right now."

Alex grinned as the familiar Piper temper made an appearance. Oh how she had missed it. She let Piper continue on her rant for another minute or so before interrupting her mid-sentence.

"I agree."

"What?"

"I agree we should forget it, because we both know that you don't really want a tattoo. I think you should take me out for that thank you drink you promised me."

* * *

Alex sat in the bar, nervously spinning her empty wine glass around by the stem. She checked her phone impatiently, and huffed upon seeing no new notifications. She had agreed to meet Piper at 4pm and so far she was an hour late without word. Furious at being stood up, she downed the wine that she had ordered for Piper, and grimaced at the warmth of the liquid. Wine was definitely best drank cold.

"Thirsty?" the barman asked, a half amused look on his face.

His smile faltered at the impatient look he was fixated with, and moved gratefully onto another customer that appeared at the bar. Alex sighed as her ringtone sounded out and rummaged through her bag for the phone that she had only put back in there a couple of minutes prior. She took a calming breath upon seeing Piper's name flash up on the screen, and swiped her finger to the left to answer the call.

"Piper Chapman, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Alex greeted, refusing to acknowledge Piper's 'new' surname.

"Al..Alex," Piper replied, breathlessly. "I'm so sorry I'm late. Something come up and-"

"And you couldn't call earlier?"

"Can you come outside?" Piper continued as if there had been no irritated interruption.

"You're here?" Alex asked, peering around and clapping eyes on the woman, frantically waving through the window. "Why don't you just come in?"

"I can't. Come out and I'll explain."

"Argh, fine. This best be good."

She hung up the phone and strode over to the exit, almost colliding with Piper who raised up both her hands, her actions confusing to Alex.

"Please don't be mad."

"Why would I be-"

Her sentence was cut short by the unmistakeable cries of a baby. She frowned and turned towards the source of the noise, her eyes narrowing as Piper put a hand protectively on the pram.

"Oh no fucking way."

"Please Alex," She held up her hands once again, attempting to stop Alex from walking away. "He had a temperature so I had to take him to the doctors and then come straight here. Larry is refusing to look after him because he thinks I am meeting you and apparently I can't have a life away from him. Away from Larry that is, not Finn," she added.

"Why didn't you just cancel?" Alex asked, knowing she wouldn't have been too happy if that _had_ actually happened. Not that this situation was much better.

"Because I really wanted to see you," Piper said, picking at a bit of the plastic that was coming away from the handle of the pram, shyness in her voice.

Alex smiled despite herself. A first proper meeting with Piper _AND_ Finn wasn't ideal, but if Alex wanted to persue whatever this was with Piper, she would have to get used the baby being around. She couldnt help feeling it was far too soon, but despite her reservations, she found herself suggesting they take a walk through the local park. Piper's eyes lit up, and she eagerly took hold of Finn's pram and led them across the road and through the wrought iron gates that opened up to the park.

"I think this space will be good," said Piper, coming to a stop beneath an ancient Oak tree. "Plus there's a bit of shade if we need it"

Alex nodded and placed her jacket on the ground beneath them. She sat down on half of it, and tapped the space next to her.

"Half each?" she suggested. "Might have to squish up together though."

Piper beamed and nodded eagerly. She settled the pram next to them, not forgetting the brakes when Alex jovially reminded her how they came back into each others lives again. They both sat next to each other, arms brushing slightly, causing both women to shiver at the close contact. They remained in silence for a few moments, just enjoying being in each others company, until Finn started to cry again.

Piper immediately stood up and took him out of his pram, rocking him gently in her arms. She grabbed his changing bag and dragged it along the ground to where they were sitting. She rummaged through it for his bottle, and sat down, giving him his feed. Alex felt slightly uncomfortable being in such close proximity to Finn, but as Nicky said, she needed to stop being such a pussy.

"He's pretty hungry huh?"

Piper smiled, not once taking her eyes off Finn. She paused for a moment, allowing him to catch up with the liquid that was continuously pouring down his throat.

"Yeah, he's always had a healthy appetite. I'm a bit relieved though because he hasn't had any milk since last night. One thing that prompted me to take him to the doctors."

Alex watched Piper with something akin to fascination. She had always known that when the time came, Piper would be an amazing mother, a natural. They had never spoken about having children together as such, but Alex always noticed the doting look in Piper's eyes when she saw a mother and baby whilst they were out shopping or the countless times she would see her watching one of the child birth shows, only to skip the channel when Alex came into the room.

"Do you want to hold?"

"Oh no, I don't think so Pipes," Alex frowned at the offering. "It would be too weird."

Piper nodded in understanding and after burping Finn, she placed him back into his pram, tucking him in comfortably.

"So how come you wanted to meet me today? What changed your mind?"

Alex debated on how best to answer. After Larry knocked on the window, her determination to not see Piper again was thwarted by Nicky and her god damn persistence over getting Alex to admit the truth. However, it was the trip to her mother's grave that sealed her decision.

"I read your letter."

"My letter?" Piper asked, frowning and scrunching up her nose in confusion.

Alex leaned over Piper, subconciously biting her lip as they came face to face whilst she rummaged through her pocket. Piper swallowed at the near contact and started to lean forwards as Alex found what she was looking for. She unfolded the piece of paper and handed it to Piper, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks as she read through her own letter.

"You weren't supposed to read this."

"I was curious," Alex shrugged. "There was barely anyone at her funeral so I wanted to know who visited her grave."

"But that doesn't answer my question," she used the now folded up letter to point at the ground. "I don't understand why you would want to meet if you knew it was me who wrote this."

"That's exactly _why_ I wanted to meet you," Alex said, sitting on her knees to face Piper. "You seemed like you need a friend and I dunno, I guess..."

"You want to be that friend?" Piper asked, hopefully.

"Well...yeah. I still care about you Pipes. I don't know how Larry would feel about us being friends but-"

"Larry doesn't matter. If it wasn't for Finn I-"

"Wouldn't tolerate him as much," Alex finished the sentence, smiling at the puzzled look on Piper's face. "The letter," she added by way of explanation.

"You studied this then by the sounds of it," Piper grinned, nudging her knee on to Alex's.

She laughed at Alex's bashfulness and lay down on her back, dragging Alex with her as she went. They lay side by side, Piper tapping her hand on the ground by way of distracting herself from lacing her fingers with Alex's.

"Who's Pete? You told my mom to look after some guy called Pete."

Piper tensed, her hope that Alex had somehow forgotten the man she had mentioned in the letter, completely dissipating. This was her opportunity to come clean, explain all as best she could and just hope Alex would stay to hear her out.

"Pete is...Pete _was_ Finn's dad."

"I don't understand. So, Larry isnt the father?"

"Larry's not the father," Piper confirmed, sitting up, copying Alex's new position. "Listen, I need you to bare with me ok? There's a reason I didn't tell you any of this and need for you to hear me out. Please?"

Alex nodded and waited patiently for her to start talking. Piper took a sip from her bottle of water and set it down to the side of her, lying back down on the ground along with Alex.

She took several deep breaths and steeled herself for what she was about to say. Alex reached her hand towards Piper's and intertwined their fingers, by way of encouragement. She could see Piper's internal struggle for whatever it was she was about to say. Piper squeezed back and offered Alex a small smile, before focussing her gaze on the sky above them.

"About two months ago, I broke up with Larry. I wasn't happy and hadn't been for a long time. There was a rumor that he had had an affair. I didnt think it was true, I mean, it's Larry, but I just used that as an excuse to end us. I went to Spain to just get away from everything, and it was my second day there that I got the call. Polly and Pete had been in a car crash. Pete was dead on impact, but Polly," Piper sniffed and paused mid - conversation to allow herself some composure.

Alex could see the tears pooling in the corner of Piper's eyes, and caught them with her forefinger before they rolled down her cheek, the affectionate action from Alex only causing more tears to fall as the weight of the situation hit her.

"Is Polly still alive?" Alex probed gently.

"Yeah," Piper nodded. "But I'm terrified...I'm terrified that," Piper sat up struggling to catch her breath. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked slightly, holding her head in her hands.

Alex sat up with her and gently rubbed soothing circles on her back in an effort to calm Piper down. She offered her the bottle of water which she refused, pushing it away from her. Piper's breathing had become more erratic and the tears were flowing fast, a cause of concern for Alex. She had been witness to a few panic attacks in her time and she knew this was the beginning of one.

"Piper. Piper, look at me," Alex smiled in reassurance as Piper's eyes met with hers. "I need you to breathe, ok, like this," she demonstrated her breathing technique, trying her best to stay calm. "Just breathe with me. You'll be fine. Trust me."

Alex grasped Piper's hands within her own and placed them on her chest so Piper could feel her heartbeat, which Alex knew would be a damn sight calmer than Piper's was at the minute.

A couple of minute passed before Piper's breathing started to even out, and the dizziness that she was feeling came to a gradual stop.

"You ok?" Alex reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Piper's ear, stroking her cheek as she did so.

Piper looked at her with watery eyes, and it was then that Alex realised the woman looking into her own eyes, was broken and vulnerable. She needed someone to be there.

"C'mere."

Alex pulled Piper into a hug, not caring that her shirt was becoming wet with a tremendous amount of tears. She stroked blonde hair and whispered words of comfort, until the sobs that were wracking Piper's body gradually slowed.

"I'm sorry," Piper pulled away. "I'm just terrified that Finn will end up an orphan. He's so young and helpless. It's just unfair."

"It sucks," Alex agreed.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything the other day. I should have really. I knew you assumed that Finn was mine and Larry's baby but I didnt want, well, this to happen. It's sometimes just easier to go with everyone's assumption that I am his mom. Stops the questions, you know?"

"It's understandable. So you haven't spoken to anybody about this?"

"My family and Larry know, obviously, but whenever they bring up Polly I just close myself off. I can't even bring myself to visit her, how fucked up is that?"

"It's not fucked up Pipes," Alex disagreed. "Everyone deals with things differently. Probably doesn't help that everything happened at once like your divorce, Pete dying and Polly being as she is."

"I'm not divorced."

"You're not? But you said-"

"I was never married. God can you imagine? It would have saved me alot of grief with my mom but committing to a lifetime with Larry?" Piper shook her head and shivered.

"What's with Piper Bloom then?" Alex asked, deciding to ignore the fact that in her mind, Larry was the person Piper abandoned her for.

"Oh that was nothing," Piper fiddled with one of the buttons on Alex's jacket, avoiding eye contact.

"What?" Alex asked, half amused and half baffled at Piper's sudden bashfulness. "C'mon Pipes, I'll get it out of you eventually. Why did you say you were Bloom if you weren't married?"

"Ok. Well, I called the studio to make an appointment with you but I lost my nerve when you answered. Larry came in so I made him call. In my defence I told him to give a fake name and he thought Piper Bloom was a good enough alias for me."

Piper playfully pushed at Alex shoulder as her husky laugh reached her ears.

"I _knew_ you were the silent caller. Piper Chapman you stalker."

"Shut up," Piper blushed in response, tucking her lip under her teeth as she smiled.

"God it feels so good to be able to think of you as Chapman and not Bloom!"

The two women made a pact to not speak about their chequered history for the time being, neither wanting to spoil the rest of the afternoon they had together. Although Alex succeeded in making Piper laugh a few times, she didn't fail to notice the far away look in Piper's eyes when silence would overcome them. She looked as though she was battling through troubled thoughts, so Alex would find something else to distract her from the darkness of her mind.

Finn was brought out for another feed as time passed by, Alex even stroking the curls of his dark hair. She was ashamed to admit to herself that she had warmed up somewhat to Finn's existence now she knew he wasn't Piper's child. She even went as far as holding him whilst Piper rummaged around in the bottom of the pram for something. She fanned out the blanket she was looking for, placing it on the grass before taking Finn carefully from Alex and putting him back in his pram.

"Hey! You had a blanket all of this time?"

"Oh yeah," Piper nodded. "You can have this back now."

Piper half lifted the top of her leg to allow Alex to pull the rest of her jacket from under her. The sleeve got stuck so Alex pulled more forcefully, causing Piper to topple over onto her side much to Alex's amusement.

"You just wanted to get closer to me on the jacket didn't you?"

"Maybe," Piper grinned, readjusting herself and moving over so Alex could join her. "I don't know why I put the blanket down though. I'm going to have to be heading off soon. It's getting late."

"Holy shit, is that the time?!" Alex exclaimed upon seeing the smaller hand of the watch pointing to the 8 and the longer to the 12.

"Time flies when you're having fun right?"

"You are such a fucking cliche," Alex laughed, standing to her feet and offering a hand to Piper. "C'mon then Miss _Chapman_. I'll walk you home."

"Such a gentleman," Piper teased.

Piper gathered together all of her belongings and crouched down so she could stuff everything at the bottom of the pram. Alex peered inside to make sure Finn was still sleeping, looking away when Piper noticed her paying attention to him. Piper smiled to herself and gripped onto the handle of the pram, making a u-turn and leading the way once again.

The park wasn't too far from where Polly lived, which Alex was glad about. She knew Piper would have flagged down a cab otherwise, which would have signalled the end of their get together and she would have had no excuse to spend more time with Piper by walking her home.

They were half way up the hill to Piper's temporary residency, when Alex came to a stop, panting and clutching her side in pain.

"Shit," she grumbled.

Piper turned around in concern and waited for Alex to catch up.

"Just a stitch," Alex answered the silent question, waving for Piper to carry on.

"Not as fit as you used to be I see," Piper raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I know you're old now but that's no excuse."

Alex reached the top of the hill and caught her breath, scorning Piper for her comment. "30 isn't old Piper, and you aren't far off my age."

"2 years off actually," she stuck her tongue out in response.

"2 years. I think you are getting mixed up with your mental age there," Alex mimicked the blonde's response by showing her her tongue.

"Touche," Piper grinned. "Anyway this is me."

Alex followed Piper's finger pointing to the building behind her. The house was exactly how Alex had expected it to look. White picket fence, freshly cut lawn, small balcony in front of what Alex assumed was the front bedroom. Piper had explained in the afternoon that she was staying at Polly's for the foreseeable future, and although she had only met Piper's best friend a handful of times, she just knew what kind of house to expect.

"Nice," Alex commented.

"Want to see inside?"

There was nothing Alex wanted more if it meant she got to spend more time with Piper, but they had only just landed on friendly ground, and Alex didn't want to ruin that. She didn't want either of them to slip up and delve into the past of their break up and the events of what happened since then. It would be nice for them to have just one day at least that they could look back on and smile.

"Some other time maybe," Alex declined.

"Please Alex, just for an hour or two?"

"I dunno, Pipes. I really should be getting back. Don't quite trust Nicky with the apartment to herself. She argued with Lorna today so she'll be in one of her 'Let's fuck some shit up' moods."

It was an honest and genuine reason, but in all honesty Alex didn't care what happened to the apartment as long as it wasn't burnt down. Her polite declining of the offer to go inside the house caused Piper's hopefulness to dissolve into nothing, disappointment radiating from her.

"It's ok I understand. Nicky seems like quite a character," Piper laughed, the humour not quite reaching her baby blues.

"Yeah, she is." Alex agreed.

"I'll see you soon then?"

"Yeah. See you soon."

She could only watch helplessly as Piper thanked her and turned towards the front door, fumbling with her set of keys dropping them a couple of times while she tried to find the right one for the lock. She heard Piper curse, before she managed to open the door. Piper took one last glance over at Alex and walked backwards into the house, pulling the pram in with her.

Alex walked a few feet away from the house, berating herself for not just taking Piper up on the offer. It was obvious that after the emotional filled afternoon Piper had, she would have been grateful to have some company, if only to keep her consuming thoughts at bay.

Alex paused at the bottom of the hill, and sat on a small wall that was surrounding somebody's garden. She reached into her inside pocket for one of her cigarettes and lit up, blowing smoke rings into the air she was contaminating. Checking her phone in between tokes, Alex read a text that she'd missed earlier due to her comforting Piper. She had felt her phone vibrate at the time but had completely forgotten about it as the afternoon wore on.

 **Nicky: You stopped being a pussy yet?**

"Shit," she cursed, flicking her cigarette sucessfully down a grid.

Daunting as a trip back up the hill was, Alex strode as fast as she could, ignoring the stitch that had never really gone away. After giving herself a moment to catch her breath, she walked up to the white door and used her knuckles to lightly tap on it a couple of times. A couple of minutes passed by, and with no answer, Alex pulled out her phone ready to text Piper, when the hall light came on and Piper's silhouette became visible through the frosted glass.

Piper peered carefully around the door, fully opening it upon seeing who was waiting on the doorstep.

"Alex?"

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to let me in?"


	7. New Beginnings

**Well took me a while to get back into the swing of work even though I only had two weeks off. I haven't had time to do much with regards fiction writing but I hope this chapter makes it up to you. I am so sorry about the wait but I hope you enjoy it. Please review if it takes your fancy. I love hearing what you think and what you want to happen.**

* * *

" _Are you just going to stand there or are you going to let me in?"_

Piper blinked a couple of times to make sure the vision before her was in fact real and not just a figment of her imagination. She hesitated, peering her head around the door which was unintentionally being used as a shield. Only 20 minutes ago, Alex had refused Piper's offer to follow her into the house, and now here she was, patiently waiting for some kind of response from Piper, other than being stared at inquisitively.

"Or I could just go," Alex muttered nervously, her previous confidence diminishing the longer she was kept waiting on the door step.

"No!" Piper shouted, startling both her and Alex. She cleared her throat before lowering her voice an octave. "I mean, no. Come on in."

Piper stood aside and pulled the door wide open, allowing Alex enough room to step over the threshold and enter the hallway. She held out her hands ready for the jacket that Alex was shrugging off her shoulders. She placed it on one of the wall hooks at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm sorry I took so long answering the door," Piper explained as she walked through to the kitchen, Alex dutifully following her. "I was settling Finn down."

Alex didn't answer, being too preoccupied with studying her surroundings. The kitchen was bigger than she expected despite the island in the middle of the kitchen that took up a lot of room. Although there were plenty of cupboards, which usually meant a lot of hidden space, the worktop was littered with baby essentials such as formula, bottles, and a sterilising kit to name a few.

"Quite a collection you've got here Pipes," Alex remarked, smirking as Piper looked away guiltily.

"Being tidy has never been one of my strong suits."

"I remember," Alex chuckled, recalling the amount of times she would return from a stressful day at work and end up calling Piper to reprimand her for leaving her apartment in such a mess.

"I don't think Polly will be to happy when she…" Alex trailed off, realising her mistake.

"Drink?" Piper asked, choosing to ignore the comment.

"Yeah, please," Alex nodded, her voice barely louder than a whisper due to the tension she unintentionally created at the assumption Polly would recover.

"Hey do you want a Margarita?"

"Yeah sounds, good. Not too cold for one of those."

Piper smiled at the reference to a comment Alex made about her choice of drink on one of their first dates. With it being a torrential snow storm outside, Alex had opted for a Fireball whiskey to warm her insides, whilst Piper opted for the aforementioned cocktail. Alex had ordered in disbelief before turning towards Piper.

" _It's a little cold out for a Margarita don't you think?"_

"You made me so paranoid when you said that," Piper reminisced whilst collecting the ingredients.

"You refused to drink it and we had to swap. It was _not_ a good cocktail. I don't think the barman lasted much longer after that," Alex laughed. "We were his third complaint of the evening."

Alex sat down on the bar stool and leaned her elbows onto the island, her phone clasped in front of her. She was in the middle of replying to Nicky who was still teasing her, when huffs of frustration and muttered curses brought her attention back to Piper. Her eyes rested upon Piper's bare back, a result of her top riding up due to her stretching above her. Their years apart had been very kind to Piper. She had told Alex in passing, that she didn't get to run as often as she wanted to although seeing her lithe physique, it was hard to believe. Alex thought she looked as toned as she had ever been.

" _Perhaps it's all of this yoga she keeps babbling on about."_

"Fucks sake!"

The loud curse brought Alex out of her trance and she stood up, rushing forward to place her hands on Piper's hips. Somehow during Alex's admiring of her, Piper had clambered onto the worktop in an effort to reach for something, that she assumed must have been an essential part of the cocktail.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for god damn cocktail glasses."

"Can we not just have the wine glasses you already set out?" she asked half amused, half exasperated. "They aren't worth breaking your neck for."

"Got them!"

Alex retained a firm grip on Piper's hips, subconsciously tracing patterns with her thumb causing goosebumps to appear on the toned body. Piper wordlessly placed the glasses on a lower shelf and slid down, landing awkwardly on her feet. The action caused her to stumble backwards into Alex whose hands were completely wrapped around her waist. Turning around, Piper found herself nose to nose with Alex, their heavy breathing mixing into the air. Feeling as though it should be Alex to make the first move, Piper gave her the chance then after several moments, she shifted awkwardly and switched her gaze from Alex's lips to her eyes.

"I should…" Piper turned and pointed to the glasses up above.

Alex nodded and took a step back. She grabbed a knife from the block and started to slice the lime, wincing as a bit of the juice got into a cut she didn't realise she had. She sucked on her finger to relieve some of the pain, and glanced over at Piper as she did so. Disappointment was radiating from her every pore, that much was obvious. The slumped shoulders and avoiding eye contact was the major giveaway, Alex knew that much. She knew full well that Piper wouldn't kiss her first. The older woman had always been the instigator and after everything that happened, both knew she would have to make the first move.

The only sounds punctuating the kitchen were that of the knife hitting the chopping board and the blender that Piper was focussing all of her attention on.

Alex finished cutting the fruit and squeezed the lime around the rim of the glasses and lodged the slices into place. Alex raised her glass, once it had been filled with the concoction, and encouraged Piper to do the same.

"To new beginnings."

"New Beginnings," Piper repeated, clinking her glass against the other one.

Once they had consumed a few drinks, the women started to loosen up a bit, finding it much easier to be in each others presence as long as the drinks kept flowing. They avoided delving into their past as a couple too much, simply enjoying their time on a "second" first date.

"So you finally did it. You got your own studio."

"Yeah," Alex nodded, taking a sip of her drink and stretched out, placing the now empty glass onto the coffee table next to her.

They had made their into the living room, after finishing their first drink and were currently sat face to face on the sofa. Piper sat crossed legged and Alex had one leg tucked underneath her with the other dangling off the side of the seat. The only light in the room was that of the television, which had been muted once they found themselves in easy conversation.

"How did that come about then?" Piper asked, referencing the studio. "What made you take the plunge, so to speak?"

Alex tensed, finding a loose thread of cotton on her trouser more interesting than staring into Piper's eyes.

"I just…I guess I took your advice."

Her offering was pitiful but Piper sensed the subject needed changing, so that's what she allowed Alex to do. Had it been a few years ago Piper would have pushed Alex to the point where she would snap, but the blonde was no longer that impressionable, needy 22 year old. She had experience behind her and had matured somewhat ever since their relationship ended. She had faith that Alex would tell her everything she needed to know in her own, good time.

"What about you? I know you don't still work as a waitress in that place. I noticed it had closed down."

"Hmmm you noticed huh? It's a bit out of your way. You sure you weren't trying to find me Vause?"

"You wish Pipes. It's not my style," she winked.

Piper laughed, and reached for the pitcher, refilling their glasses.

"Well, Polly and I finally made the most of Polly's business degree and opened up a shop called Popi," Piper said, addressing Alex's earlier question. "We sell bath salts and soaps, you know that kind of thing. We even got into Barney's."

"Barney's. Wow," Alex raised her eyebrows.

"We have our own little store too. When Polly went on maternity leave, we hired Cal's girlfriend, Neri to take her place. Although she isn't a manager she did learn some of the tricks of the trade from me. She has been an absolute godsend these last couple of months."

"Must be difficult finding the time to be at the store as well as have Finn."

"Yeah it can be. Although Neri is amazing, I can't help but worry. When Polly had Finn, I was at the business all of the time but now, well now I can't be there. If anything happens to this business, Finn's future will be at stake. I don't want him to suffer with his education. Now there won't be Pete's income either, it makes everything that bit more stressful."

Piper acknowledged Alex stroking her knee by throwing her a small smile, the reassuring gesture appreciated. "There's just all of this pressure to succeed, and I don't know if I have it in me anymore."

Piper's eye's started to fill with tears as a result of her finally being able to open up to someone and talk about her concerns. The fact is was Alex she could talk to was just a bonus, and a wonderful one at that.

"Hey," Alex reached out and caught a tear with her finger. "You'll get through it. I know you will."

"It's hard to believe that sometimes," Piper sniffed, trying to blink away more tears. "Urgh I'm just so emotional today."

"I don't think this helps either," Alex gently prised the glass out of Piper's hands and placed it on the floor. She pulled Piper towards her so that blonde hair was resting on her shoulder, the rest of her body embraced in a hug by Alex. She stroked the locks of blonde hair and occasionally massaged Piper's scalp by way of relaxing her. Piper reached for Alex's free hand and held onto it, her knuckles turning white at the strong grip.

Gradually, they both pulled apart, Alex continuing to gently wipe tears away that were on a continuous ascent down Piper's cheeks. Leaning forward, she brushed a few stray hairs behind Piper's ears and kissed her forehead in the gentlest way she could.

"Thank you for today Alex," Piper said, eyes flitting towards her luscious lips as Alex sat back down to face her.

"You don't need to say thank you Piper."

"But I do," she replied, scooting ever so closer to the raven haired woman.

Alex gulped at the sexual tension Piper brought with her just by moving that few inches towards her. Piper waited patiently for Alex to make the first move, not understanding that the reason Alex was scared to was because she didn't want to be accused of taking advantage of her emotional state. Neither knew who made the first move, all they were aware of was their lips meeting in a kiss that started off as a peck, soon developing into a searing lip lock. Upon hearing Piper moan quietly into the kiss, Alex traced her fingers along Piper's cheek and into the hair at the base of her neck. She used it as leverage to pull the other woman closer to her even though there wasn't a lot of space to begin with. They felt as though they had finally been revitalised after all these years apart.

"Will you," Piper started, focussing on playing with Alex's rings on her fingers. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I don't think…"

"Please," Piper cut her off before she could finish her sentence with it not being a good idea. "I just need someone to hold me."

The sentence was said with such vulnerability that any intention Alex had of leaving was completely admonished.

"OK."

Piper stood to her feet, reached out her hand for Alex to take and laced their fingers together, leading them up the stairs. Piper came to an abrupt stop, Alex bumping into the back of her at the sudden halt. She allowed Piper to lead her into the room, casting her eyes upon the crib in the corner of the room.

"What if we wake him," Alex whispered, grabbing Piper's elbow, as she released her hand.

"He's been sleeping a lot better the past few days," she spoke in her normal voice. "Besides, we won't be making too much noise. Just falling asleep, right?"

Alex shifted her eyes sideways, biting the inside of her cheek at Piper's hint of suggesting the opposite. Piper chuckled and rummaged through her drawers for some spare clothes for Alex to sleep in. She handed the top and shorts to the taller woman and directed her to the bathroom.

"There's a spare toothbrush in the cupboard above the sink," Piper smiled.

Alex nodded her thanks and entered the bathroom. The entire room looked as though it had been recently fitted with a new suite, the faint smell of paint and plaster in the air. The whole room was a bright white, with a nautical theme on a row of tiles that stretched around the walls. She looked in the main cupboard, which was standing beside the toilet, and frowned upon being met with an abundance of towels and a few ornaments, including a striped blue and white lighthouse. No sign of a toothbrush in there. She frowned and settled her hands on her hips wondering where it could be, when the mirror above the sink caught her eye. It replicated the porthole of a ship, the finish of the wood giving it a vintage feel. She took a chance and pulled on the side, pleased with her discovery when her fingers unwrapped the brand new toothbrush from it's packaging.

She brushed away the taste of tequila until her mouth was minty fresh, and splashed her face with cold water to remove any traces of makeup. She dried her face on the hand towel and looked back into the mirror. She felt slightly self conscious without her eye liner, so she reapplied some, using the spare pencil that she always carried around for emergencies. It wasn't a heavy application, just a light layer until the morning.

Grabbing the t-shirt, she placed it over her head, returning to the mirror to fix the mess the top caused to her hair. She gasped at her reflection, and looked down at the top, pulling at the bottom of it to stretch it out in front of her. She recognised it as the one she used to own before Piper adopted it to sleep in whenever she would stay over at the brunette's apartment. It was the same t-shirt she had worn when she confessed her love for the blonde all of those years ago. The slogan on it was peeling off in places but she would recognise it anywhere. She padded across the hallway, pulling down the shorts slightly, self conscious at the unsuitable fitting. The bedroom was devoid of Piper, so Alex assumed from the clattering downstairs that she was pouring them glasses of water. Her hunch was correct as Piper struggled her way through the door a minute later, jug and 2 glasses in hand. Alex relieved her of the glasses and placed them down onto the bedside table on Piper's side of the bed.

"I can't believe you kept this," Alex pinched at the t-shirt.

"It was the last thing I had left of you," Piper openly admitted, leaving Alex lost for words. "Wow, have I rendered _the_ Alex Vause speechless?"

Piper giggled after a moment's silence.

" _No._ No, it's just… after all this time? The whole slogan is practically peeled away. I assumed you would have burned it."

"Why would I burn it?"

Piper settled down under the covers and peeled back the duvet from the opposite side of the bed, an invitation that Alex accepted gratefully. They both sat with their backs to the headboard, heads turned so they were face to face.

"I thought you'd burn it because you hated me. I didn't think your _boyfriend_ would approve of you keeping something that is so _obviously_ mine."

"At the risk of spoiling things by delving into the past…I never hated you. I hated the situation and we had become toxic to each other. But I swear Alex, no matter what you might think, I never left you for Larry. I didn't even speak to him for 6 months after I left Paris."

Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise, willing away the niggling doubt that Piper could be lying.

"You didn't speak?"

"Well we spoke," Piper admitted, ignoring the huff of disapproval from the woman next to her. "We corresponded through the occasional email but I didn't see him until he moved in next door to Polly and Pete's old place, which was 2 years ago."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Piper smiled. "I promise I never cheated on you, nor did I hate you despite what I might have said."

"That's good to know," Alex quirked, wiggling her body down the bed until her head hit the pillow.

Piper mimicked her movements, and lay down on her back whilst Alex adjusted her position so she was lying on her side, facing Piper's side profile.

She started to absent mindedly play with strands of Piper's hair, eventually lulling the blonde into a sleepy state. She brought her fingers down to Piper's collar bone and traced a line slowly down her shoulder to her arm, lightly tickling the skin. She continued the pattern several times, the occasional contented sigh being released by Piper. Transfixed by the woman next to her, Alex unintentionally traced a new path from Piper's collarbone to her chest. Piper's breath hitched and Alex widened her eyes when she realised how close she was to her hardened nipple.

"Sorry," she muttered, her attempt to withdraw her hand. Her movement was stopped by Piper as she wrapped her own fingers around Alex's.

"Don't stop. It's relaxing me," she whispered.

"It never used to relax you. Quite the opposite if I remember," Alex teased, her laughter dying in her throat at the lustful gaze she was receiving.

This time it was all Piper. It was Piper who initiated the kiss and Piper who flattened Alex's hand so she was palming her breast underneath her top. Piper deepened the kiss as Alex tweaked her nipple, causing both sets of underwear to become damp.

"Fuck," Piper breathed out as Alex grabbed on to Piper's hips, pushing her thigh in between her slender legs, encouraging her to thrust forward.

Piper's breathing became ragged with each manoeuvre of her hips. Alex removed her thigh from it's position much to Piper's dismay, and flipped her onto her back. She placed her knees on either side of Piper's hips and pulled her up to a sitting position so she could easily remove her top. Piper did the same to Alex, both moaning as they leaned back onto the bed, their breasts touching ever so slightly. They resumed the exploration of each other's mouths, tongues duelling in a battle to get to know each other once again.

A few minutes into the kiss, Finn could be heard stirring which the women ignored until his small grunts turned into loud wails. Alex broke the kiss and lifted her head, only to find it being dragged back down to Piper who kissed her as though Alex's lips were her oxygen.

"It's ok. He'll go back to sleep," she panted in between kisses.

The wailing persisted and once again Alex broke the kiss, and rested her forehead on Piper's, giving them both time to catch some much needed air. Piper's hands were still holding Alex's head in place and she sighed upon her lips. The wailing started to cease just as Piper was ready to get up and check on Finn. She did so anyway, and seeing he was fine, guessed he had some kind of bad dream.

The false alarm had woken them up to the reality that they were moving far too fast. Mere days ago, Alex seemed to hate Piper and now she was in her bed and willing to take her to euphoric heights. Not wanting to spoil the small amount of progress they had made, Piper excused herself to the bathroom. She sat on the closed lid of the toilet, and leaned her head against the sink, the cool porcelain doing wonders at calming her temperature.

Piper wanted Alex more than she ever wanted anybody on both a physical and emotional level, the events of the evening only confirming what she already knew to be true. She ripped off a piece of toilet roll and shred it to pieces in her hands, a sign of her frustration.

"I have to ask her to leave," Piper mumbled to herself.

When Alex was lying in her bed next to her, leading her on had been far from Piper's intention. In the heat of the moment she was ready to give Alex all of her, but the interruption had woken her up to their situation. Piper stood up and scooped the pieces of the roll, lifted the lid of the toilet and threw them into the basin. Steeling herself, she turned the door handle and entered her bedroom, smiling as Alex's head snapped back into position. She had been resting her head on her hand which slipped out of place when Piper re entered the room.

Alex took off the glasses that were hanging on an awkward angle, folded them and hooked them onto her top.

"Do you want me to leave?" Alex sat up, leaning against the head board whilst rubbing her tired eyes.

Piper sighed and made her way back to the bed, sitting in the space that Alex made for her. She looked at Alex and traced her fingers down the side of her cheek, brushing raven hair behind her ear, taking note of the new piercing that adorned Alex's ears.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I want you so much Alex but…"

"But what?" Alex asked as Piper trailed off.

She turned her body to fully face Alex, one of the blonde's legs dangling from the side of the bed, the other tucked beneath her.

"I don't want to ruin the progress we have made by moving too fast. When we were together, if we ever had a problem we would fuck it away, and that's how we ended up how we did. We wouldn't talk to each other until the problems became too much and when we finally did it was too late. I mean, just a few days ago you seemed to hold all of this anger towards me and I don't want us to get carried away by sleeping together because of this one _good_ day we have had."

"I can see that," Alex agreed, nodding her head.

Piper released the breath she had been holding. Her sentences hadn't made sense to her and she felt as though she was rambling. She didn't know how Alex would react, but she had half expected an argument to erupt and for Alex to storm out and leave, which Piper didn't think she could handle. Alex propped herself up on her elbow and smoothed out the space next to her.

"How about you just be my little spoon then?"

Piper stood to her feet and walked over to the door, startling Alex into thinking she was leaving.

"I think I could live with that," Piper giggled.

She flicked the switch on the wall, plunging the room into darkness. She sprinted back to the bed, jumping on it as she arrived, causing the bed to jerk back much to Alex's amusement.

Piper turned away from Alex and snuggled her back into her, grabbing the taller woman's arm so it was draped over her waist. She played with Alex's slender fingers, twisting the rings that adorned them.

"So you still do that thing where you run from the light switch to the bed in the case of monsters, huh?"

"Not monsters," Piper spoke lowly so that Alex had to move closer and lean in to hear the mumbled words. "Ghosts."

Piper felt her body shake slightly as Alex's husky laughter filled the room, her chest reverberating against Piper's back. She grinned at the reaction, even though the laughter was at her own expense. She closed her eyes in appreciation at the sensation of Alex's lips against her temple, trailing kisses to the base of her neck. Alex tucked her head onto Piper's neck just beneath her ear and breathed in the scent of the blonde's shampoo.

"You know you should really invest in a bedside lamp, or maybe even a night light."

Piper elbowed Alex in her ribs in a playful gesture at the teasing. "Shut up."

"Ok fine. I withdraw my bants."

"Goodnight Alex. Promise me you'll still be here when I wake up."

"I will Pipes, I promise. G'night."

…...

 _Piper lit the vast amount of tea lights that were placed in precise locations around the room. She discarded the used matches and stood back to admire her handiwork. The bucket of champagne on ice sat on the bedside table, surrounded by the aforementioned tea lights. The bed covers that should have been a plain cream with a faint pattern, were scattered with pieces of red, the rose petals a startling contrast against the pale colour of the sheets. She brushed invisible creases out of her black satin baby doll outfit and lay on her front, leaning on her elbows, her legs crossed behind her up in the air. Excitement reached her senses as she heard the key turn in the lock. She took hold of the rose and placed it into her mouth, taking care to avoid the thorns, and waited for her raven haired beauty to make her way up the stairs where she could finally eat her for dinner._

"Piper!"

"Hmmm Alex," Piper muttered in her sleepy state.

"Pipes!"

The blonde struggled to open her eyes, a task made more difficult by the streaming sunlight in the window. She stretched her whole body, and lay back, smiling as she recalled her wonderful dream.

"Piper."

She sat up instantaneously at the masculine voice and slapped her hand down onto the space next to her, frowning as she didn't hit Alex's body as she expected to. The space was still warm so Alex can't have been gone too long. Piper swallowed the disappointment at Alex's broken promise but she didn't have time to dwell as footsteps could be heard making their way up the staircase.

"You up here?"

Although she wasn't naked, Piper still protectively brought up the sheet on her bed up to her chest. She swung her feet over the mattress and placed them aggressively onto the floor, Alex's sudden departure and the man stomping his way up the stairs putting a negative spin on Piper's mood.

"Pipes?"

"Fucking Larry," she hissed, the words becoming her catchphrase as of late.

"What?"

Larry flinched at the waft of air that hit his face as a result of Piper swinging the door open. She blew a few times at the strands of hair that fell loose of her ponytail and into her face. She gave Larry a scathing look, a warning as her reached forward to brush the offending hair behind her ears. He blushed a shade of crimson and made a point of running his hand through his curly locks as though that had been his intention all along.

"I've told you Larry you should knock first."

"I did. I was stood on the doorstep for 5 minutes. I even through stones at the window."

"Oh how romantic. Well what do you want?"

"I just," he ducked his head trying to see into the room under Piper's outstretched arm. "Why are there 2 glasses on the bedside table?"

"I was thirsty."

"And the glasses?"

"I just told you I was thirsty," she snapped.

"No. Those," he pointed to the black secretary glasses that were folded on top of Piper's novel that she had been skimming through on the nights she was alone.

Piper twisted her body around, until her eyes fell upon the familiar frames. "I, uh, I use them for reading."

"Since when?"

"What do you want Larry?"

"Oh yeah I came to see if I could take Finn for a couple of hours. My parents want to see him. He's the closest thing they have to a grandchild you know."

Piper rolled her eyes at the sly dig. Throughout her relationship with Larry, both of their parents were forever dropping hints for their offspring to produce. Whilst Larry was eager and considered it the next step for them, Piper disagreed, feeling stifled by a relationship that she wasn't sure she wanted.

"He's not even ready yet."

"I can wait."

"Oh you can wait? You can't get him ready yourself?"

Larry looked at her blankly and shrugged.

"See now this. This," she pointed an accusing finger at Larry. "This is why I am glad I didn't have children with you."

She closed the door over with a little more force than necessary and threw the sheet onto her bed. She put her favourite hoody on and gently roused Finn from his sleep which wasn't too difficult. Grabbing his changing mat and clothes along with her, she struggled with the items down the stairs and rolled her eyes at Larry's obvious disdain at the scattered glasses and pitchers in the living room.

"Save your judgement for someone who cares," she snapped. "His milk is in the kitchen, diapers are in the corner over there and here is the man himself."

Larry graciously took Finn and bounced him up and down in a greeting. Piper walked through to the kitchen and swallowed a couple of tablets to ease the impending headache. She glanced into the living room and seeing Larry was changing Finn's diaper - for once- she prepared the youngsters breakfast in order to hurry Larry along. The sooner he left, the sooner she could go back to mourning over what she had the night before. Alex's disappearing act left her with little to no hope that they would ever get back together.

Half an hour later, Piper stood in the doorway waving Finn off. She breathed in the fresh air, and upon admiring the blue sky, decided on taking a run and feeling the fresh air hit her skin. It would relieve some of the tension and anxiety that she found herself experiencing.

She made her way back to bedroom and retrieved her phone from underneath her pillow, her shoulders sagging upon seeing no new notifications.

"Damn you, Alex," she muttered, the phone bouncing slightly as she dropped it onto the bed.

Piper stripped herself of the layers covering her body and put on her sports bra and underwear. She set out her running clothes which she always kept in a designated drawer, and opened her closet to retrieve her running shoes.

"About fucking time."

She jumped back in fright at the unexpected voice and after a moment of shock, pulled Alex up by her elbow and dragged her out of the closet. She bit on her lower lip in attempt to stifle an impending laugh at Alex's tousled hair and heated face.

"Silly question," she started, handing Alex her glasses. "May I ask why you were camping out in my closet?"

"I wasn't camping out. I was hiding and plotting my revenge on that ass hat. And as for you," she pointed an accusing finger to a stunned Piper, as the blonde had done to Larry just half an hour previous. "I tried to wake you up but you just kept slapping me away. The dude wouldn't give up he was banging on the door and throwing stones. I thought he was going to break the window at one point. It's not funny Piper!"

Piper found it hard to control the laughter, it soon becoming contagious causing Alex's anger to melt within a matter of minutes.

"Seriously though, what's his deal? Is he always so stalkerish and letting himself in here all the time?"

"Oh I have spoken to him about that, trust me. Why did you hide anyway? Were you afraid of the Big Bad Larry?" Piper playfully mocked her last sentence in a childish voice.

"You know I could take him," Alex stated, folding her arms across her chest. "Seriously though, I didn't want you getting any unnecessary grief from him. It's the last thing you need at the minute. Plus I heard how he almost flipped his shit at seeing 2 glasses of water so I am glad I did hide."

"He did," Piper rolled her eyes. "You know I was probably so pissy with him because I was so angry with you. I thought you'd just left without saying goodbye."

"I like it when you're pissy," Alex pulled Piper towards her and wrapped her arms around her waist. "It makes me kinda hot."

"I'll remember that. Did you say you have a client at one today?"

"Urgh, yeah," she sighed. "I should be going soon, need to get showered and stuff first. What time is it?"

"Its about 11 o'clock."

"Shit. That late already? How long was I in the closet for? I'd best be going," she released her hold on Piper and rushed around the room trying to find her pile of clothes.

"Why don't you take a shower here then head straight there? Would save you some time."

"That does actually make sense. Thanks, kid."

* * *

"Don't forget to put this on."

Piper accepted the tube of cream with a gleeful smile. She squirted some on her fingers and rubbed it cautiously onto her chest.

"Where did you find this? I thought I had sent Finn away with both of them."

"It was on the floor behind the sink. I dropped my ring down there and came across it."

Alex leaned one arm onto the wall to give her some support whilst she squeezed her feet into her boots.

"Pipes, what are you doing?"

"What?"

Piper looked back at Alex, a confused look on her face. The raven haired woman tutted and closed the space between them. She grabbed the tube off Piper and squirted a large amount on to her palm, applying the cream with her fingers.

"It says a liberal amount not a pea sized amount. No wonder it hasn't been getting better," she frowned, careful of knocking any blisters.

Alex excused herself to the bathroom and washed her hands, ridding herself of the cream. She dried her hands and followed Piper downstairs, grabbing her jacket from the hook and draping it over her arm. She opened the door and stepped outside into the warm air, the weather a vast improvement from the day she visited her mother's grave. She turned to face the doorway, one foot raised on the step.

"I think you should visit Polly."

"I can't."

"I know you can't but you should. I think it would help."

"Maybe," Piper folded her arms and cast her head down, her defence mechanism firmly in place. She could feel herself unintentionally and unwillingly closing off from Alex, the mention of visiting Polly casting a cloud over their interaction.

"You have my number, so if you need some support give me a call. I can go with you."

"You would do that?" Piper raised her head, arms still in place.

Alex smiled, and placed a kiss on Piper's cheek, not waiting long enough for it to be reciprocated. She hooked her finger under the collar of her jacket and flung it over her shoulder. She walked a few feet before turning back around, continuing to walk in a backwards motion.

"For you I would, yeah."


	8. Waterballoons and Inscriptions

**I can only offer my sincerest apologies for the lack of updates. I won't bore you with the ins and outs but work has kept me a bit preoccupied. I had the majority of this written up and I finally found the time today to complete the chapter. Due to either fanfic playing up or my connection, I wasn't able to reply to reviews via message when I tried to so here are my replies for the reviews. If you want to crack on with the chapter then skip on past the bold font. This chapter was originally completely different and set in the hospital with Polly, but I figured we needed a bit of fluffiness before the inevitable angst takes place.**

 **BL-is-love Thanks for thinking of my story. Still undecided what to do about Polly in terms of her waking up or not but I think the next chapter will determine her fate, good or bad.**

 **ManveerlovesVauseman: ah fucking Larry. Don't worry…I think this may be the first chapter without him sticking his nose in :-o**

 **Orange Dandelion: Yeah I couldn't have Piper go through everything alone, Alex will always be there whether Piper wants her to be or not ;-)**

 **Samb06: I felt it was important for them to take things slow in terms of their relationship so glad you think so too**

 **Sweetlikevanillais: Glad you are loving the story. Hope you continue to enjoy it**

 **WB79: Stupid Larry, I agree. I can't help but write him as a nosey, irritating character. I should probably be a bit nicer to him…**

 **Ejm137: Thanks for reading all the chapters in one go, I hope you enjoyed it and like this chapter. And I do intend to keep writing, I won't be giving up with this fic even if updates are sometimes sporadic.**

 **Vausegasm: I hope this is enough Vauseman interaction for you :)**

 **Vausesearch: thanks for finding the story. Hope you enjoy this update.**

 **Kojojo: Ah I like writing Alex as a loving character. I can see why you would have little faith in Piper…she does have a tendency of screwing things up**

 **Moanz: Glad you loved the last chapter. As for Polly that will have to wait for next time I am afraid but it will be happening**

 **Big thankyou for all the reviews/follows/faves. I hope you all enjoy this instalment and I look forward to any reviews. Said it before but they are the motivation. Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

The ground all but shuddered beneath her feet as she pounded breathlessly through the streets of New York. It was around noon which wasn't usually her favourite time of day to go for a run, due to the never ending crowds of people occupying the path. However, after a night of staying on the phone to a woman, with whom she had been in close contact with for the past 6 weeks, not even weaving in and out of the crowds and bumping occasionally into a grumbling business man could detract Piper from her good mood.

Alex hadn't stayed over again since the eventful morning hiding from Larry in the closet. It wasn't that neither women wanted to sleep in the same bed again, even though they knew the temptation to move so fast would be there. They simply hadn't managed to find enough time. With it being summer time, Vause Tattoo Studio had been inundated with appointments - tourists being their main clientele. Popi had also started to suddenly get busier which meant that Piper had to split her time between looking after Finn, the business and seeing Alex. What didn't help matters, was Alex seemingly vanishing off the face of the earth every weekend. She would be completely unreachable on her cell phone and when Piper confronted her about it, she tensed up and brush Piper's curiosity to the side, usually changing the subject onto Polly or Finn. Piper hadn't noticed at first, but after the third time, she couldn't help but come up with all sorts of scenarios in her head. None of the scenarios held Alex in a positive light as much as Piper tried. If asked, she couldn't pin point exactly what was wrong but it was that feeling in her gut that just wouldn't shift, preventing her from giving her all to Alex.

The blonde shook her head to rid herself of the niggling doubts that had started to plague her mind once again, and carried on running until she reached the park.

She slowed down her pace to a light jog, and stopped to rest on a patch of grass beneath one of the largest trees in the park. She purposely sat in the shade that the branches provided, relishing the slight breeze that started to cool her down. She unscrewed the lid to her water bottle and took several gulps, grimacing at the warm temperature of the liquid. She twisted her body slightly to place the bottle on the floor beside her, when her eyes caught an inscription on the bark of the tree. Her eyes widened in recognition and she traced her fingers lightly over the inscription, of which her initials were included.

 _Piper with her mass of tousled blonde her and wearing her cosy pyjamas, gazed longingly at her girlfriend from her position in the bed. Alex was perched on Piper's windowsill, one leg dangling down the side and one bent at the knee, her arm resting over the top. If Alex had noticed she was awake, she didn't say anything. Instead she opted to take a long drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke out of the open window, adding to the pollution in the air outside. She leaned her head on the window pane, her breath fogging up the glass as she started to trace non discernable patterns into the condensation._

 _Piper balled her fists and rubbed at her eyes, before stretching out and lifting up Alex's side of the duvet._

" _Come back to bed Al."_

 _Alex flinched slightly at the sound of the familiar voice, confirming Piper's thoughts that she didn't know she was awake. Alex smiled at her bleary eyed girlfriend and stubbed out the remainder of the cigarette into her makeshift ash tray._

" _And close the window. It's freezing in here," she shivered, pulling Alex's side of the duvet around her body, cocooning herself in._

 _Alex obeyed the request and chuckled, waving both her hands down her body._

"You're _cold?"_

" _If you don't want to be cold you should wear something other than underwear and a vest top. Did you grab yourself a cup of coffee?"_

" _That was next on the agenda after my morning smoke," Alex replied lying down on the mattress, ignoring Piper's disappointed look that came part and parcel with Alex's smoking habit. "I should have made myself one when I went into the kitchen for my makeshift ashtray."_

" _Oh not Polly's teabag tidy again? She'll kill you."_

" _Well, Miss Chapman," Alex pulled the Piper towards her so she was flush against her body. "I guess you'll just have to be my protector."_

" _Al, your hands are freezing. Get off," Piper squealed as Alex splayed her hand flat on her back beneath the material of her top._

 _She pushed at Alex's shoulder in a vain attempt to escape her clutches. The raven haired woman was unperturbed and placed her feet at the bottom of her squealing girlfriends pyjama clad leg and pushed up the fabric until her foot touched bare skin. The playful attack resulted in an angry brunette storming into the bedroom. Her hair which was usually so demure, was sticking out at odd angles, giving Alex's future friend, Nicky, a run for her money._

" _Would you mind keeping the fucking noise down? It's 7 o'clock in the fucking morning."_

" _Ever heard of manners, Molly. It's usually customary to at least knock before you go barging into somebody's room."_

" _I have heard of manners, actually," Polly sniffed indignantly. "Did you know it's manners to learn somebody's name. It's Polly, with a P."_

 _Alex smirked as she got the reaction she was hoping for. Her relationship with Polly had started off on the wrong foot the instant Alex had uttered the wrong name at the tattoo studio. She liked to think of her and the brunettes relationship as a love/hate one. Love because she loved to tease Polly and hate because Polly hated her for it._

" _Sorry Pol. We'll try to keep it down," Piper offered an apology in attempt to diffuse the situation._

" _That's all I ask."_

" _What's made you all antsy today?"_

 _Piper groaned and fell back onto the pillows, covering her face with her hand. It had become routine for her best friend and girlfriend to squabble every time Alex stayed over. Piper had hoped this wouldn't have been one of those times, wanting to simply enjoy a rare, full day off with Alex._

" _I'll tell you what's made me 'antsy'," Polly snarled at Alex, angrily quoting the air. "I get in after the worst date of my life with the sole intention of drinking until I pass out, only to find that_ somebody _had drank all of the wine I saved for emergencies. Instead I go to bed to chill out with my pitiful glass of orange, Netflix at the ready, and guess what?"_

" _Ooooh don't keep us in suspense Dolly."_

" _I couldn't hear any of it because of the horny lesbians fucking in the room next to me. These walls are far too thin. All I could hear was Piper screaming for you to fuck her harder," Polly shuddered at the memory._

" _Yeah she did," Alex wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, turning towards Piper who had hidden herself under the quilt in embarrassment._

" _Uh you're so infuriating. Pipes, you really need to move your bed away from that wall and while you're at it get yourself a new girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter."_

 _Polly waited for a response from her friend, huffing and walking to make a hasty exit when the body hiding beneath the quilt didn't even stir._

" _Oh hey, Polly with a P," Alex shouted at Polly's retreating form, satisfied with the giggles from Piper to show she wasn't too annoyed at Alex for her teasing. "Don't forget your teabag tidy."_

 _The room shook with the reverberations of the door slam, Polly's cursed words aimed at Alex travelling through the wood and reaching their ears. The raven haired woman chuckled and shook her head, joining Piper under the covers. She traced her fingers lightly over Piper's cheek, her fingers dipping slightly as they reached her dimples. She rubbed one of her fingers over Piper's bottom lip back and forth a couple of times until she found it caught in between pearly white teeth._

" _Ouch what was that for?" she exclaimed, taking her sore finger and soothing it by bringing it up to her own lips._

" _You, Miss. Vause, are evil."_

" _Says the one who just tried to bite my finger off. That hurt."_

" _I'm sorry, baby," Piper placed several light kisses against the sore finger before leaning forwards to bring Alex's lips to hers, kissing away her pout. "Let me make it up to you."_

 _Her whispered offering caused a shudder throughout Alex's body, but it was an offer she found herself reluctantly declining, even though Piper was making it very difficult for her by lying flush on her body and tracing circles on the inside of he quivering thigh._

" _As much as I would love a repeat performance from last night, we can't."_

" _We can't no?"_

 _Alex gasped at the sensation of Piper's lips on her pulse point, her teeth nipping at the flesh occasionally undoubtedly adding to the collection of marks she made the night before. She allowed herself to be lost in fiery kisses, and heavenly touches, all perfectly innocent until Piper lowered her hand towards the waistband of her underwear. At first touch of her clit, Alex bucked her hips and sighed onto Piper's lips, her fingers gripping onto blonde locks as she worked her faster._

" _Fuck," she whispered, as the sensation became almost too much to bear._

 _Piper slowed down her ministrations, and before she could protest, she removed Alex's underwear, making sure she grazed her legs with her fingers until she had removed the offending item. Alex took the opportunity to remove her top and encouraged Piper to do the same with her own clothes. They wanted to feel skin on skin contact. It was never enough for them. They continued with their teasing touches until Alex's phone rang out, distracting them from what was supposed to be the start of a very satisfying morning._

" _Shit," Alex breathed against Piper's lips._

" _Just leave it."_

" _I can't" Alex said regretfully, finding herself being pulled back towards Piper's wanting lips._

" _If it's important, they'll leave a message."_

" _It's not a phone call, it's my alarm. It will be relentless until I turn the fucking thing off."_

 _Piper sighed at Polly's fist banging against the wall, and released Alex's face from her grasp. She sat up with Alex, bringing the sheet to her chest in vain attempt to shield herself from the coolness of the room. She watched the frown of concentration on Alex's face as she scrolled through her phone, the bright screen reflecting against the lens of her glasses._

 _Piper coughed slightly, in effort to regain Alex's attention._

" _Oh sorry babe," she looked up and placed her phone next to her where it got swallowed into the duvet._

 _"Why did you set your alarm? Today is our lazy day, remember?" Piper winked, crawling across the mattress to close the distance between them._

" _I'm sorry Pipes, but I really have to go into work today. There was a major fuck up last night and they need me."_

 _Piper stared in disbelief as Alex moved around the room, picking up her clothes that had been thrown off in a hurry the night before._

" _You promised we'd get the whole of today together."_

" _It's just an hour or two. You know I want to eventually get a promotion. If I show early on I am willing to go in last minute it will hold me in good stead for the future."_

 _Although Piper knew Alex was talking sense, she couldn't help the pout of her lips, nor the frown on her face and arms crossed against her chest._

" _Please don't look at me like that. You make it even more difficult for me to leave when you're being cute."_

" _Maybe that's the plan."_

 _Alex kissed her girlfriend's cheek as she forced her legs through her skinny jeans. She paid apt attention to the mirror as she applied her subtle make up and ran her fingers through her hair before plumping it up slightly._

 _"Hey do you have a scarf I could borrow?" she asked, in between applying a layer of lip gloss. "It's fucking freezing out there."_

" _Back of the door."_

 _Alex looked at the door and sure enough, hanging from the overdoor hooks were several woolen scarves, perfect for the frosty weather._

" _Do you want to borrow a hat too?" Piper asked enthusiastically, running to her drawers to pull out an assortment of hats. Alex raised her eyebrows at the collection and opted for a sensible plain one, noting Piper's disappointment at her refusal of one with a panda face adorned with small ears._

" _Meet me at 11 by our coffee shop?" Alex suggested, referring to one of their regular haunts._

 _Piper nodded in agreement and reluctantly waved Alex out of the apartment._

 _She padded her way to the kitchen and brewed a fresh pot of coffee, also pouring Polly one. Still feeling slight embarrassment over what Polly had heard from her antics the night previous, she left the cup on the floor outside the brunette's door and knocked on it a couple of times, escaping to the confines of her own room when she heard movement from the other side of the door._

 _She settled back into her bed and turned on the television, absent mindedly flicking through various channels until the buzzing of a phone distracted her, for the second time that morning. She hastily reached for her phone and frowned upon seeing no notification. The device buzzed again and Piper placed her coffee on the bedside table and frantically searched under the duvet, until she came across Alex's phone. The smile that appeared at Alex's background picture of the two of them vanished when another text message came through, from a sender that hadn't been stored as anything in the phone so far._

 _ **Sender unknown: Work, yeah right. Don't worry it's all in hand. Trust me. I told you it wouldn't take long for you to love me :-P**_

 _Piper dropped the phone as though she had been scalded. The message popped up on her lock screen so Piper couldn't even alleviate her fears by reading the full conversation. She cursed herself for encouraging Alex to set up a password on her phone incase it was ever stolen._

 _Her first thought was that Alex was cheating. Had she missed the warning signs? She had hoped Alex loved her and even though she knew the raven haired woman wasn't the 'mushy' type as she had told her before, Piper had wanted to be the one who broke down those walls. The exception if you will. She cast her mind back to how they got together. Alex cheating on her ex girlfriend, Sylvie and then attempting to hide the fact she was in a relationship from Piper wasn't the perfect start._

 _A course of anger surged through Piper's veins, and she proceeded to get ready to meet Alex at the coffee shop. Date of their six month anniversary or not, Piper was willing to end it all if her suspicions were indeed correct._

* * *

 _The lonely figure hugged her jacket to her body a little bit tighter, and leaned against the window of the coffee shop. Her breath appeared in front of her, the cold air causing a pink tinge to appear on her nose. She had given up grasping Alex's takeaway cup of coffee for warmth. It had been an hour since it had been poured so the lukewarm temperature of the cup did nothing but remind her of how late her Alex actually was. She let out a frustrated sigh as the clock struck 12 and with the intention of leaving, she bent down to pick up the cup the had been resting on the floor in between her feet. She reached out for the bin before a gloved hand touched hers._

" _Don't do that. I'm assuming this is mine?"_

 _Alex's grin faltered slightly at the glare she was receiving, and brought the cup to her lips before stopping._

" _This isn't poison is it, Pipes?"_

 _The dark flash of anger in Piper's eyes turned to feigned innocence, as she denied any wrongdoing to the drink. In fact, she encouraged the oblivious woman to drink so she could warm up quicker. Alex shrugged, removed the lid and downed half of the cup before spitting the remaining contents back into the cup._

" _Really? Cold fucking coffee?" she balked._

" _It's what you get for being late. Oh and by the way, some random slut sends her love," she angrily pushed Alex's phone into her chest, storming away from her and ignoring the pleas for her to come back._

 _She hadn't gotten far before Alex caught up with her and unsuccessfully tried to grab hold of Piper's hand. Sighing, she raised her hand in defeat._

" _I lost track of the time, I'm sorry. You could have waited in the coffee shop."_

" _I did for the first 15 minutes and then I went outside thinking I might have missed you. And are you going to tell me who the fuck this random person is, because it's not looking great for you right now."_

 _Alex frowned and skimmed through her messages, her eyes widening in realisation. "She's just a friend."_

" _What, like Sylvie was just a friend."_

 _Alex pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, sighing in disappointment at the low blow. The first time Piper had seen Alex with Sylvie, her ex, the raven haired woman had insisted they were just close friends, which she told herself they were at the time. Their open relationship had taken it's toll on them and they had remained in a relationship purely out of habit and routine. When Piper came along, it was during the time Sylvie had suggested making their open relationship a closed one, and although Alex never agreed to it, the redhead had taken her 'I'll think about it,' as a definite yes. Needless to say Sylvie hadn't been too happy when she walked up to the queue for the bathroom of the bar they were in, overhearing Piper's request to taste what Alex tasted like._

" _Piper, let me explain, please."_

" _Go on then," Piper crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, inching closer to Alex as she was bumped into by a passer by._

" _Not here. Come with me."_

" _I'm not going anywhere with you," she snatched her hand back once again._

" _C'mon Pipes, please? It's a surprise. I can explain it all when we get there. I promise you, there is no other woman. I wouldn't do that to you."_

 _Piper rolled her eyes and nodded her head for Alex to lead the way, still refusing her offer of her hand. Alex shrugged her shoulders and hailed down a cab. She politely told the driver their destination, waiting for the snippy comment from her annoyed girlfriend. Surprisingly, no comment came. She glanced over at Piper, head leaning against the window, her breath fogging up the glass, but unlike Alex did in the morning, she never traced patterns into it. Alex could have sworn she saw a tear escape from the blonde's ducts but within the swipe of a finger it was gone. She resisted the temptation to reach across, knowing that the tear was just a reaction to how angry Piper had gotten. She had witnessed a time when Piper's mother called her apartment and an argument ensued. After a full blown slanging match, and a broken landline phone from it being slammed down aggressively against the receiver, Piper had promptly burst into tears due to all of the unwanted emotions._

 _They arrived at their destination, and Alex beamed when Piper allowed her to escort her from the vehicle and took a firm grip of her hand._

 _Piper had to admit the park did look beautiful. The leaves crunched beneath their feet and the last of the frost was beginning to slowly disappear. Although the sun was strong enough to melt the frost, it wasn't enough to warm up the occupants of New York._

" _Over here, Lesbians!"_

 _Piper's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of her friend stood beneath the tree that her and Alex had one of their first dates on. Sat on the ground were a couple of picnic blankets, no doubt to prevent too much cold coming through the material. A picnic hamper waited for them along with an ice bucket accompanied by a bottle of champagne. Tea lights littered the edge of the blanket, a few of the flames being diffused by the slight breeze and hastily re lit by Polly before she pushed herself up with the aid of the tree. She started to walk towards a smug Alex and speechless Piper._

 _"Alex, What…"_

" _You owe me, Supercunt."_

 _Polly continued past the lovebirds, oblivious to their previous argument, the tension having being placed with a genuine curiosity from Piper. Polly whispered into her friend's ear and squeezed Piper's arm before throwing a sly wink in Alex's direction._

" _Alex?" Piper's quizzical eyes met Alex's mischievous ones._

" _I may have lied to you about a few things today," She pulled Piper towards the blanket. "Here."_

 _She handed Piper her phone, and allowed her to read the messages that had been sent back and forth between her and Polly. The text messages were perfectly innocent ones, the occasional insult but the majority describing the plan that Alex had concocted._

" _So, you didn't really have to work? Polly is the unknown sender and you left early to prepare this…for me?"_

" _Yeah," Alex laughed, as the realisation dawned on Piper._

" _But I was so horrible to you," Piper said sorrowfully, dipping her head in shame._

" _You didn't know, Piper," Alex reassured her, twisting her body slightly and grabbing hold of the neck of the champagne bottle._

 _She flipped the lid of the picnic basket and retrieved two flute glasses, handing them both to Piper while she popped the cork of the champagne. She poured the liquid into the glasses and registered slight disappointment on her girlfriends face._

" _Problem, Pipes?"_

" _I was kind of hoping some of the champagne would dribble down the bottle so you could lap it up in that sexy way you do."_

" _There's a lot of sexy things I can do with my tongue, babe. I'll show you later," Alex winked, clinking her glass with Piper's._

" _What are we celebrating?"_

" _Well, these past few weeks I kind of realised something. You know how I told you I don't know the rules of relationships?" she paused whilst Piper nodded in response. "When I first met you, I knew you were different. I didn't know why, but there was something different about you. Despite knowing there was something special about you, I never dreamt, that this beautiful, blonde girl from Connecticut, would be the one to break down all of my walls. I guess what I'm trying to say is, erm. Take a look at the tree."_

 _Piper's smile never faltered as she crawled towards the trunk of the great Oak, giggling as she saw the inscription. Her and Alex's initials contained in a heart, jagged in places where Alex couldn't get the bark to work in her favour._

 _Alex followed her girlfriend, and kneeled behind her, placing both arms around her waist. She rested her chin on her shoulder and kissed Piper's ear over her hair._

" _I heart you," she whispered, eliciting a shiver._

" _You heart me? What is that, like I love you for pussies?"_

 _Alex chuckled and kissed Piper's lips forcefully, silencing any future mocking from the blonde._

" _I love you, Piper Chapman. I love you so much. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it," she pulled away, looking a shell shocked Piper in the eye. "Who's the pussy now?"_

Piper's lips tucked up into a smile as she traced her fingers over the engraved words, barely visible due to the weather beaten bark. She unzipped the pocket of her hoody and snapped a picture of the words, sending it to Alex along with a message.

 **To Alex: Guess where I am…xxx**

She tucked the phone away back into her pocket, not expecting a response straight away for she knew how busy Alex had been as of late. She leaned her head back against the trunk of the tree and rested her eyes, the lack of sleep catching up with her. Six months ago she never would have guessed she was being kept up all night by a teething baby, but then again she never imagined she would be reunited with Alex.

 _Funny how the world works_ was her last thought before sleep claimed her tired mind. She was at the point where she was in between being awake and asleep, unaware if the sounds she could hear were reality or part of her dream. Through her meditative state, Piper could hear footsteps approaching and feel the warmth of a body as though a very familiar someone was sitting right next to her. She could even feel Alex's presence when she wasn't there. She slowly came to, Alex's scent reaching her senses and that low husky laugh she made whenever Piper would snore, causing her to rouse from her slumber. The blonde smiled and scooted closer to the body, feeling an arm wrap around her waist, and relishing in the gentle kiss placed upon her forehead.

"Make the most of your peace, kid, because in about 30 seconds that's all going to be shattered."

Piper frowned but refused to open her eyes, ignoring the warning drifting into her partially conscious mind.

"Wow, now that is what I call a masterpiece, Vause."

"Aww I think it's sweet."

"Well you would."

Piper opened one bleary eye as Nicky rolled her own eyes at Lorna's romantic nature.

"You back with the land of the living, Chapman?"

Piper grumbled in response and tucked herself in closer to the body next to her, her nose nuzzling Alex's neck whilst she composed herself. She smirked as she felt Alex shiver at the contact, momentarily forgetting the presence of the other two women. Alex hadn't however, and addressed the pair who were looking at Piper with amusement.

"You'll have to give her a few minutes. It always did take her a while to be even just a little bit coherent after waking up."

"Is that so Blondie?" Nicky spoke loudly down Piper's ear, ruffling her hair, more through desire to annoy the sleepy woman as opposed to affection.

Piper shot up from her previously relaxed position and patted down her hair, glaring at Nicky who mirrored her stare. She found it difficult to be serious when Nicky was around, mainly due to her child like nature, so the frown soon turned into a laugh as their staring competition waned. She obviously hadn't spent as much time around Nicky as she had around Alex, but through their few encounters, Piper had grown accustomed to the bushy haired woman's antics and her way with words.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?"

"Well," Alex started, slapping her hand onto Piper's knee and gripping it slightly. "We got a fucking gas leak. They think it should ok to open in a couple of days, if not tomorrow."

"So we thought we'd keep you company," Nicky winked, chewing on her gum.

"What Nicky means is, she saw the photo you sent me, over my shoulder, and knowing I would head for this place, decided to follow me here. They are the most inconspicuous stalkers ever."

"You didn't see us until it was too late, admit it Vause."

"Nicky, I could see your hair sticking out above the trash can!"

"It is a little big honey," Lorna attempted to smooth down the bushy mane, failing miserably. "If you just let me style it for you, you can stalk Vauseman without being caught."

Nicky slapped away her girlfriend's hand, the frizzy strand of hair dropping back down. "On that note I'm going to get some beers. C'mon Lorna, let's leave these two love birds to it."

Piper watched their retreating forms in amusement, the small brunette trying to keep up with Nicky's full strides.

"Vauseman?" Piper raised her eyebrows in question.

"Urgh don't ask. It's Nicky's collective name for us. We're not Piper and Alex anymore, we are _Vauseman_."

"It's got kind of a nice ring to it," Piper nodded. "Although the combination of surnames is usually for couples."

Piper took a sip from her bottle of water, oblivious to the effect her sentence had upon the raven haired woman sat beside her. Had she been paying more attention, she would have noticed Alex's body tense and heard the sharp, almost inaudible intake of breath. Piper threw down her bottle, the force of the throw causing it to bounce once or twice on the ground.

"I'm so fucking hot," Piper growled, fanning herself with her hand.

She took to her knees and peeled off her hoody. In her mind it was in one swift motion and the slight breeze would hit her exposed skin. In reality, she also lifted her vest top with it and proceeded to get stuck, her temperature rising the more she struggled.

"A little fucking help here, Alex?"

Alex's pondering was suspended as she finally noticed Piper's predicament. She allowed herself an amused giggle as the huffs of frustration got louder.

"Stay still Pipes. You're getting yourself all worked up. It's caught on your bobble."

She made to reach for the obstruction when her eyes cast downward, taking in the toned contours of Piper's stomach. She bit her lip in anticipation, the bare skin a reminder that there were parts of Piper's body that she still hadn't reacquainted properly with.

"You're perving aren't you?"

Alex shook her head, mindful of the fact Piper couldn't see her, and helped the blonde untangle herself from the hoody.

"You didn't answer my question," she pushed, gleeful at the rising blush she managed to illicit, despite the smirk and raised eyebrow Alex gave in return to maintain some of her charm.

"I was looking at your piercing actually," she said wistfully referring to the jewellery hanging onto Piper's belly button.

Piper raised her eyebrow sceptically back at the taller woman.

"You mean this piercing?" She bunched the fabric of her vest top up and lifted it over her head, the action a lot smoother than last time.

"Um Pipes, what are you doing?"

"I'm hot," she shrugged, reaching for her water bottle once again. "Besides it's not like I'm topless. I _am_ wearing a sports bra. It's a less sexy version of a bikini top."

"I'll be the judge of that," Alex muttered, pulling Piper flush against her body, oblivious to their surroundings. Everything else was background.

Piper lightly traced her finger's over the tattoo on Alex's bicep, which had become a habit of hers whenever the arm was on show. Her first instinct upon seeing the tattoo on Facebook was right: it _was_ a shaded design. Alex had since added a "Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada" sign just above the pin up girl, on the very top most of her shoulder, almost leading onto part where her shoulder met the base of her neck. She could feel the bumpiness of the sign, indicating it was still healing.

"When did you add this?"

Alex looked at the sign, and then back into the familiar pools of blue. "The same day I came out of the closet. Nicky is very proud of it."

"Nicky did this? Wow."

"Yeah, wow," Alex smiled and leaned forward, the only thing on her mind was having Piper's irresistible lips on top of hers. Inching ever so closer, she flinched as she felt a cold wetness on the side of her head, the remnants of which splashed upon an amused Piper.

"What the actual FUCK!" Alex screamed, pushing back her wet strands of hair away from her face. "Where the fuck is she?"

Piper doubled over in bouts of laughter, as Lorna feigned innocence whilst fighting the smile on her red lips, two ice creams in hand.

"Where's who?"

"This is fucking Nicholls I know it is," she pulled her glasses from her face, removing a piece of orange rubber that had stuck to the lens. "A water balloon. Seriously? What is she…12?"

"Hey Vause," Nicky hollered, appearing from behind an opposite tree. She threw a water balloon up into the air and smoothly caught it one handed, repeating the motion several times throughout her speech. Alex eyed the water balloon with disdain, waiting for the moment it would be hurled in her direction.

"That one comes near me and you are fucking dead."

Nicky chuckled at the finger pointed in her direction, making it obvious she didn't feel threatened. "I was doing you a favour."

"What?" Alex hissed, taking cautious steps towards her foe.

"You looked like you could do with a cooling down. This is a public park with children you know. They don't need to see you eating your girlfriends face."

Alex bit back a retort about Nicky being caught in a public place eating something far more crude, but instead opted for an attempt at an intimidating approach.

"I am going to fucking kill you," Alex darted forward, taking a swift side step as Nicky misfired her water balloon.

The two women ventured into the distance, leaving an amused Piper and Lorna to sit and watch the entertainment. Piper gratefully took the offering of the ice cream, thanking the brunette.

"Ah no problem. We gotta have something while the kids have their fun eh?"

"Yeah," Piper nodded with a grin, taking a slurp of her ice cream. "Hey where'd Nicky get a water gun?"

Lorna looked up and frowned, as her eyes followed the crying child running after Nicky trying to retrieve his gun. She reluctantly handed it back and allowed the child to soak her in attempt to stop his tears. Alex returned and plonked herself on the ground next to Piper.

"She's in a submissive position. You could take advantage of that," Piper nudged Alex playfully.

"I could, but then I would miss the ass kicking she's about to get."

Sure enough, the child's angry father was bellowing at Nicky, his overweight form being of particular advantage to Nicky who scampered away from the trouble she caused. She stopped by to breathlessly declare their war wasn't over before dragging Lorna along with her so they could make a hasty exit.

Both the blonde and raven haired woman watched their figures disappear into the distance, amusement apparent on their faces.

"And then there were two," Alex raised her eyebrow suggestively, urging Piper to lie down with her on the blanket.

Alex pulled Piper towards her so that the blonde's head was lying on her chest. She bent her arm at the elbow and pulled Piper's bobble out of her hair so she could play with the soft strands. She linked the fingers of her other hand with Piper's and brought them to her lips. Piper sighed in contentment and pulled their hands away when she couldn't take anymore of the tickling sensation that Alex's lips were unintentionally causing.

They spent the next hour basking in the sun, Piper separating their bodies unwillingly due to the blistering heat. It was after Piper's third complaint about the heat that Alex started to lose her patience.

"I swear Pipes, I love you but if you complain one more time I am going to find that kid and squirt you with his water gun, angry parent be damned."

Piper couldn't focus on any of her words after the I love you, the words having obviously slipped out accidentally. Piper didn't know what those words meant, and all too soon she was creating different scenarios in her head, which was always her biggest drawback.

"Earth to Piper, Helloooo," Alex waved in front of Piper's face.

"Huh?"

"I said… wow you really spaced out there didn't you?"

"You said you loved me."

"I thought it was obvious I loved you."

Piper was stunned by the revelation. She couldn't decide if she was more stunned by the fact that Alex had said she loved her or the fact she was so nonchalant about it, when in the past it would have taken a great deal of effort for her to admit to intense feelings such as love.

"Oh, well not that obvious, no."

"Listen Pipes," Alex kneeled in front of Piper and grabbed both of her hands, tracing soothing patterns with her thumb. "I never stopped loving you. I came to the realisation a long time ago that I could never stop. I guess that's why I was so hostile towards you when I first saw you again. It wasn't because I hated you, despite what you might think."

"I guess there's a fine line between love and hate, huh," Piper smiled bashfully, biting her bottom lip with her teeth.

"Absolutely," Alex whispered.

"So what are we?" Piper asked the question that had been niggling in the back of her mind for the past few weeks.

"I guess to everyone else, we would be girlfriend and girlfriend."

"And to you? What are we?"

"We, my beautiful girlfriend, are inevitable."


	9. Room 201

She inexpertly took a full inhale of the cigarette in between her fingers, hacking up a lung in the process. Being a novice to smoking, Piper tried a couple of new techniques until she found one that wasn't so harsh on her throat. After a few more puffs of the toxic stick, she started to feel some of the tension disappear from her body, as though magic were afoot. Piper watched as the smoke floated up into the air in front of her before being blown away by the slight breeze. It was very unlike her to fall into a habit that she had once turned her nose up against. She had even thrust nicotine patches upon Alex when they were together the first time, demanding that she quit. Piper hadn't been so innocent herself though. After a few drinks she did have the urge to smoke on one of the cancer sticks, and instead of reprimanding her, Alex would go with it, grateful that she could have a smoke too without any consequences. Piper had never craved the drug; had never seen what the fascination was about until the moment she finally thought she was losing her mind.

Just three days previously she felt as though everything was falling into place. She had confirmation from Alex that they were moving in the same direction, and the phonecall not long after just topped off her day, or year to be more precise.

" _We, my beautiful girlfriend, are inevitable."_

 _Piper stared at her newly acquired girlfriend with something akin to admiration. The years had truly changed Alex. Try as she might, Piper could not picture the 'old' Alex ever being so bold and honest about her feelings, and dare she say it, cheesy. The only time she let Piper in, was the first time she told her she loved her and although she had only met that side of Alex once, she had longed to be on the receiving end of such affection again so to say she was elated would be an understatement._

 _Without paying attention to her surroundings she pounced on Alex, crushing their lips together in a frenzied kiss, the sudden movement causing Alex to fall down from her kneeling position onto her back, dragging Piper with her._

" _I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Piper fussed, rubbing the back of Alex's head that hit the ground with a dull thud._

 _Alex merely chuckled at the concern and pulled Piper back towards her lips, tracing her finger tips up and down her back until she relaxed into her position. Without moving her lips away from their kiss, Piper reached an arm out and slid her hoody beneath Alex's head, making a small cushion._

 _"Not that this isn't more comfortable," Alex said, breaking their kiss. "But the cushion is vibrating against my head."_

 _Piper frowned and balanced herself up on her elbow, instantly missing the contact on the body beneath her. She rummaged in her pocket and swiped her phone to answer it without checking the caller ID._

" _Hello?"_

" _Good afternoon Miss Chapman. It's Doctor Healey here. I am calling with regards to Polly Harper. Are you available to talk?"_

 _Piper's heart skipped a beat and her airways felt momentarily constricted. She kneeled back away from Alex instantly, conflict showing on her face at the sound of the Doctor's voice. She always had trouble discerning whether or not he was going to deliver good or bad news. Piper noticed the look of concern on Alex's face, and she allowed the traces that Alex's fingers where making on her thigh to sooth her._

" _Are you ok?" Alex mouthed._

 _Piper nodded and smiled, lacing her fingers with the concerned woman's slender ones._

" _Miss Chapman."_

" _Y-y-yes, I'm still here. Go on."_

 _The doctor took her prompt and used the opportunity to fill Piper in on the news. Throughout the phonecall, Piper tightened her grip on Alex's fingers, only releasing them when her own fingers started to tingle. She gave her an apologetic look as Alex shook her hand in attempt to release the blood flow back into her digits._

" _Right, so you think I should visit her then?"_

" _That would be something I would highly recommend. I hope to see you soon and have a good day Miss. Chapman."_

" _Thanks. Bye," Piper choked out._

 _She dropped her phone onto the blanket and covered her face with her hands, sniffing a few times, an onset of tears inevitable. Piper felt her body being enveloped in a hug, Alex's scent surrounding her thus giving her a sense of calm and belonging. She listened to the whispered words of reassurance, and melded into the taller woman's touch as she replayed the phone conversation in her head. Grateful as she was that Alex wasn't rushing her to speak, Piper just had to get it off her chest to at least put Alex's mind at rest._

" _That was the doctor," she said into Alex's chest, her voice slightly muffled._

" _What?"_

 _Piper reluctantly pulled out of the loving embrace, but still stayed close enough to Alex so that their knees were touching._

"That _was the doctor on the phone. He was calling about Polly," she swallowed, Alex's nod for her to continue gave her the assurance she needed. "He said, well, quite a lot that I didn't really understand."_

" _Is it good news?" Alex asked, the genuine hopefulness in her tone of voice not missed by Piper._

" _She's awake, Alex. Polly's awake. I don't know what that means but it's got to be good right?"_

" _Oh my god Pipes are you serious? That's fucking brilliant," Alex grinned, grabbing both of Piper's biceps as if trying to shake some sense into her, trying to force her to see that her best friend waking up after so many months in a coma could only be a positive thing._

" _The doctor thinks it will help if I go see her. Don't get me wrong, I so want to but…"_

" _But, what?"_

 _Piper took a deep breath and looked away from Alex's curious gaze._

" _I'm scared. She's not going to know about Pete, or the fact that I've spent more time with her son since he's been born than she has. She's going to hate me, she's-"_

 _Piper stopped her rambling as a gentle finger was placed on her lips accompanying by a shushing sound. She frowned and locked her gaze onto Alex, whose upturned lips showed her amusement at Piper's uncontrollable chatter._

" _I say this from a loving place," Alex said, placing her hand on her heart. "But this isn't just about you, Pipes. No, let me finish," she grabbed Piper by the wrist as she attempted to lengthen the distance between them._

 _Alex shuffled back to lean against the tree, and pulled Piper up towards her so she was curled into Alex's side, her legs draped across Alex's lap. She shivered and Alex's passed her the t-shirt she had peeled off earlier. She allowed Piper the time to place it back on before she continued with her pep talk._

" _Don't get me wrong, I think you have done an amazing thing, looking after Finn practically full time by yourself and keeping your business afloat. I am not disputing that and I am sure once Polly is 100% better she will be forever grateful to you. But right now, Polly just needs you to be there. She doesn't know yet that her life is going to be completely different. She's lost a husband and months of her son's life that she will never get back. Hell she even missed Pete's funeral, her chance to say goodbye. It will take her a while to adjust to her new life but she needs you there for her. She doesn't need you working yourself up thinking that she will hate you. You've more than earned your status as a best friend and she will love you for everything you've done. You need to go into that hospital room, and be there for her through all of it."_

"Y _ou're right, I know you are," Piper nodded, staring down at the hem of her shorts, playing with the edge of the material. "Did you mean it when you said you would go with me to the hospital."_

" _Of course I did," Alex took Piper's face in her hands, smiling gently as she brushed away an escaped tear from the blonde's cheekbone with her thumb. "Just text me a time and day and I'll be there."_

So that's what Piper did. She text Alex on the Saturday, and upon receiving no reply she called her and had to settle with leaving a voicemail. Each day that she sent a text, she would go to the hospital and sit on the same bench, in the hope that her girlfriend would turn up.

She prayed that today, she wouldn't leave disappointed. It was her third day outside the hospital and the first day that she had bought the packet of cigarettes for herself. Done with reminiscing about Alex's promise beneath their tree, she came to the decision that smoking like a chimney wasn't getting her anywhere. She turned on her phone, and impatiently waited for it to start up. After her last text to Alex, she decided she would rather have her phone turned off and not know if the raven haired woman had tried to contact her, rather than face the disappointment of not receiving any contact when her line was fully reachable. She dialled Alex's number one final time and smacked the side of the metal bin next to her in frustration as she reached the familiar voice of Alex's voicemail service.

"Fuck this," she grumbled.

Piper flicked her cigarette to the floor, and stomped the heel of her converse onto the still lit end. She kicked it to the side and stuffed her hands into her pockets, turning her back on the hospital. Without a thought to the oncoming traffic in the road, she started to cross, oblivious to the oncoming vehicle. The screech of tyres brought her from her frustrated thoughts, and she braced herself for the impact of the vehicle against her body, but it never came. She didn't remember placing both of her hands on the bonnet of the car, but it was apparent she did when she found herself face to face with a rather angry driver.

"Watch where the fuck you're going lady!"

"I don't know if you got the memo, but you have to speak properly to a lady, fucking jackass."

The familiar sound of her girlfriend's voice brought Piper out of her daze, and although her heart was going ten to the dozen and the anger towards Alex was showing no signs of disappearing, she had never been more relieved to see her. She allowed Alex to wrap a protective arm around her whilst she led Piper safely to the pavement. The driver continued shouting and swore at the couple before speeding off into the distance.

"You got a death wish, kid?"

Piper laughed sarcastically and pushed Alex's arm away from her shoulders. The look of hurt that adorned Alex's features only served to cause Piper's anger to erupt from every pore in her body.

"Where the fuck have you been, Alex? Three days without a word. You promised me you would be here."

"And I am," Alex shrugged. "And it wasn't three days it was two. I tried calling you this morning but it went to voicemail."

"So you think you can get away with this on a technicality? Seriously?"

"Listen I'm sorry ok."

"Whatever," Piper huffed, sitting back down on the bench and pulling out another cigarette.

Alex laughed in disbelief, "So what, you're smoking now?"

Piper ignored the comment, and attempted to light the cigarette with her lighter, but her shaking hands wouldn't allow it. She had all but given up when Alex gently pulled the cigarette from her lips, and lit it herself, taking a drag before passing it back to Piper.

"Am I allowed to sit?"

She took Piper's shrug as a yes, and sat down on the uncomfortable seat, ensuring she didn't get too close for fear of angering the blonde further. She had learned in the past the Piper could be feisty as hell when she wanted to be and although she would never admit it, her temper intimidated her when she was on the receiving end of it. She didn't dare speak for fear of prodding the beast inside. Instead she allowed Piper to finish her cigarette in peace and waited for her to break the silence.

"I was worried, Alex," she said, the softness in her voice causing Alex surprise.

"What about?" she questioned, knowing deep down she had fucked up and the question was probably an idiotic one.

"I thought you had bailed on us. I haven't seen you in almost a week and as soon as I texted you a day to come to the hospital with me you became completely unreachable."

"You know I have business on the weekends, Piper," she sighed. "These tattoo conventions don't run themselves you know."

"You say you have business but I don't understand why you're completely unreachable. I _have_ noticed you know. I'm not stupid."

"I'm usually just so busy on the weekends but I promise this time I did forget my phone. Do you really think I would ignore you? I know how important this is and I don't intend to break my promise. I swear."

Piper sighed and twisted her body to face Alex. In the amount of time she had known her, Piper had learnt that Alex's eyes would betray her. The green pools she found herself staring into looked conflicted, as though Alex was only telling a half truth. Piper closed her eyes and breathed deeply, swallowing back what she really wanted to say. Fear of the unknown held her back from calling Alex out on her bullshit.

"OK."

"OK?"

"You're here now so will you please accompany me to Polly's room. I still haven't been to see her."

Alex stood to her feet and offered Piper her hand, leading the way to the hospital doors. Piper hesitated, but with a little prompting from Alex, she entered the building and made her way over to the reception desk. The receptionist confirmed the floor and number of Polly's room, and the women walked hand in hand up two flights of stairs before coming to a halt outside room 201.

Piper placed her hand on the handle of the door and snatched it away, stuffing it into her pocket. She gripped onto her cigarette packet and felt it crumple beneath her fingers.

"I can't."

"You can. You need to do this for you."

"I thought this wasn't about me?"

Alex smirked and raised her eyebrows, as part of their last conversation in the park was thrown back at her. Piper smirked back much to Alex's surprise and placed her hand back onto the handle.

"Come in with me?"

"I'm here," she promised, their hands meeting once more.

Piper opened the door and gasped at the sight of her friend, lying helplessly on the uncomfortable looking, rigid bed. The room itself was an overwhelming brightness of egg shell white, the walls empty and devoid of any personalisation. The regret hit Piper in that instant. Regret that she hadn't visited Polly since the couple of days after her accident. She hated the thought of her best friend waking up in a bland room with the smell of the air consisting of an undertone of bleach and something that just screamed hospital.

The only colour in the room was that of a bunch of flowers on the small table not far from Polly's bed. Piper moved closer to the bunch, in the hope that they emanated fragrance so Polly would at least have some kind of pleasant scent.

"I should have brought flowers," Piper muttered upon closer inspection, noticing the flowers were starting to wilt.

She walked towards the sink to wash her hands and Alex followed suit. They dried their hands and Alex gave Piper a reassuring hug.

"Do you want me to leave? I can wait outside."

"No, stay. Please?"

Alex nodded and followed Piper, pulling up another chair from the opposite side of the room and placing it at the side of Polly's bed, close enough to Piper's so she could rest her hand on her thigh.

Piper hesitated, and grabbed Polly's hand using both her own. She brushed a piece of hair out of Polly's face and sat back, looking at her properly for the first time. Other than a light scar that adorned the side of her face, running down her cheek and beneath the oxygen mask that was aiding her in her breathing, it looked as though Polly hadn't had an accident at all. Piper hadn't known what to expect. The first tome she visited, Polly's face had been like a road map, scratches here, there and everywhere. The hair that had been partially shaved from the side of her head to remove a piece of metal work from the accident, had started to grow back, and Piper bet that once she was sat up it wouldn't even be noticeable. The stitches had since been taken out and Piper had to remind herself that it had been 4 months since the accident so her body was bound to have healed.

"You know I called Dr. Healey yesterday, and he said she hasn't woken up since he called me. She tried to speak but I guess the effort exhausted her. I just hope she opens her eyes while we are here."

"So talk to her."

"I don't know what about."

"Just imagine she's awake now. None of this happened, and you're sat in her living room, the two of you, catching up on everything you've missed."

Piper nodded, and turned her attention back to the brunette lying in the hospital bed. Alex excused herself to give Piper privacy despite her feeble protestations.

She closed the door quietly behind her and ambled down the corridor that had about as much personality as the room she had just left. The ceiling above her was made from polystyrene square laid upon a grid like frame. Every now and then she came across a cracked one, a dark line contrasting against the whiteness of the square. It wasn't subtle. The commercial prints on the wall were tasteful for the environment they were surrounded by, most of them being floral prints but they were very generic. Alex couldn't help but think patients must see enough of flowers, being the usual gift from their visitors. They shouldn't have to see them when they enter the corridor either by hobbling along or pushing themselves around in their wheelchairs.

Alex reached the canteen and opted to obey her growling stomach and purchased a soup of the day with a slice of bread. She sat down at a table by the window and ripped a piece of the bread, dipping it into the soup until it became a soggy mess. She finished her bread before she had even taken a sip of the soup using her spoon. She blew on the hot liquid and grimaced as it still burned her throat despite her efforts.

She jumped as a bottle of water was slammed on the table and slid across towards her.

"This should cool it down. Don't think _Pipes_ would want your throat to burn."

Although it pained her to give him the satisfaction, she opened the bottle and took a gulp, the coolness of the liquid a stark contrast against the soup.

"What do you want Larry?"

"What are you doing here?" he snarled.

Alex wiped the corners of her mouth on the napkin and debated whether or not to answer with a sarcastic remark, knowing that Larry was fully aware of why she was there. Whether he knew if she was Piper's girlfriend or not remained to be seen.

"I'm here with Piper who as you probably assumed is here to see Polly. I'm giving her some privacy."

"Had enough of you already has she?"

Alex sneered and threw the napkin down on the table, shaking her head at the audacity of this man.

"Quite the opposite actually. She just cant get enough."

She knew it was a childish jibe but there was something about the petty man in front of her that brought it out in her. What Piper ever saw in him she would never know. Alex was fully aware that he wasn't the reason they split up, but she couldn't help resenting him. She had blamed him for so long that she found it hard to let go of. It was easier for her to blame someone else other than herself.

"She can't get enough, right? So I'm guessing she doesn't know about your little secret?"

"We don't have any secrets."

"So, Howard Bloom doesn't mean anything to you?"

At the mention of the name, Alex could feel the blood rushing to her ears and the pace of her heart sped up drastically. Balling her hands into a fist, Alex attempted to relieve some of the tension and tried to hide her panic by thinking of Piper and that gorgeous smile that never failed to make her weak at the knees.

"You're looking a bit pale, Alex. Everything ok?"

"Wipe that fucking smirk off your face," she spoke through gritted teeth.

The aggression in her voice caused Larry to flinch. He was never an aggressor, as much as he tried to be. The dangerous glint in Alex's eyes told him that he was wrong to even attempt to threaten the raven haired woman.

"Ok sorry," he held up his hands in surrender and scraped his chair away from the table. "I just think Piper deserves the truth."

"The only thing she needs right now is for me to be there for her, so if you'll excuse me."

She tensed as rough hands grabbed her wrist in her attempt to walk away. Larry quickly retreated his hand and stroked the light stubble on his face.

"I was going to go visit Polly but seeing she has visitors already I'll come back later. Tell Piper I'll see her tomorrow."

Alex chose not to answer and made her way back to room 201, still slightly shaken from the revelation that Howard Bloom was of some relation to Larry. She can't believe she didn't make the connection sooner and it took a few words from a nosey, good for nothing sweater vest wearing man for the true depth of her situation to come crashing down around her.

Alex opened the door quietly and listened to the one sided conversation just so she could hear her girlfriend's gentle voice.

"He's starting to crawl now, you'd be so proud of him. He got his first tooth through the other day, but I don't think he quite understood what all the fuss was about when I started cheering and tossing him in the air. Be grateful you missed out on the first stages of his teething," she chuckled slightly. "I am actually surprised you couldn't hear him from here. He even managed to wake me up when I was in a deep sleep, and you always said that was impossible."

A couple of minutes silence ensued, so Alex took the opportunity to make her presence known. She could tell by Piper's posture that she looked dejected at the fact Polly was still unconscious.

"Hey you," Alex massaged Piper's shoulders and kissed the top of her head in greeting.

"Hey," Piper smiled, stretching her free hand up to rub Alex's arm.

"Still no sign of her waking up?"

Piper shook her head in disappointment and tapped the seat next to her. Alex took her up on the invitation and sat down, welcoming Piper onto her lap. The blonde straddled Alex and placed the thick rimmed glasses atop dark hair. She stroked either side of Alex's forehead and watched as green eyes closed in relaxation at the motion. The stayed like that for several minutes, the raven haired woman almost being lulled into a light sleep.

"Are you ok?"

Alex peeled her eyes open at the question and allowed herself time a moment to readjust to the brightness of the room.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she faltered, debating whether or not to pass Larry's message on. Had she nothing to hide, she wouldn't have bothered, but without wanting to raise suspicion if it came up in conversation with Larry, Alex opted to tell her partially what happened. "I just saw Larry in the canteen."

"What did he do?" Piper asked sceptically.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Then again he doesn't have to do _anything_ to irritate me."

"Alex…"

"He said he'll see you tomorrow."

"You do know you have nothing to worry about, don't you? I'm yours," Piper whispered against Alex's lips.

Alex broke the distance as their lips met in a reassuring kiss. She felt the guilt gnaw away at her as she led Piper to believe that her sullenness was due to jealousy. She would tell her the truth eventually, but right now wasn't the time. Piper's stomach growled interrupting them from their tender moment, and she blushed as Alex giggled at her predicament.

"I should go grab something to eat."

"Shit. I'm sorry Pipes. I should have brought something back for you. I did intend to but seeing Larry just distracted me. I didn't even finish my soup."

"It's ok baby," Piper assured. "I'll just go to the vending machine down the corridor. Do you want anything?"

"Surprise me."

Alex leaned both her elbows onto the bed and rested her chin on her hands. She heard the door click indictating that Piper had already left. Having felt a little self conscious, she didn't want to speak to Polly when others were there, even if the other she referred to was her girlfriend. She had found it easy speaking to her mother in the morgue, but once again that was only when her auntie left her to her own devices.

"What are we going to do with you Polly Hobby," Alex sighed, unable to resist calling her by one of her nicknames. "You need to wake up and show everyone the tough stuff that I know your made of."

The beep of her machine was the only confirmation got that Polly was still alive. She inched closer to the bed and pushed herself up. She readjusted the blanket so the creases created by her elbows were flattened out, and started to affectionately fix all of the sheets on the bed, effectively tucking Polly in. She continued her one sided conversation as she pottered around the room, passing the time until Piper returned. Picking up the bunch of flowers, she brought them to her nose, disappointed when the weak smell was overpowered by the smell of the hospital. She shook the bunch so the stems of the flowers sprayed water droplets over the floor and threw the wilting bunch into the bin so only the stems were on display.

"I'll get you some new ones don't worry."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she pulled her glasses back down onto the bridge of her nose, the hair her glasses were holding back, falling down onto her face. She brushed it aside and blinked, watching in a stunned silence as Polly reached for her oxygen mask. Alex was poised ready to put the mask back on if she needed to.

"S..sup…sup."

"Go on," Alex encouraged, squeezing Polly's forearm that was resting on the bed.

"Supercunt?"

Alex laughed at the name she hadn't been called since being in the presence of the brunette. Although her eyes brimmed with tears at the sound of Polly's voice, none fell. She _was_ still Alex Vause after all. She jumped as Piper returned to the room, dropping the chocolate bars she'd bought to the floor as she rushed over with a sense of urgency upon seeing a conscious Polly.

"Pol. It's me, Piper. I can't believe you're awake, Polly."

She planted a kiss on her friends forehead and hugged her as though her life depended on it, grumbling as Alex separated them.

"Easy, Pipes. She's still fragile."

"I know I just…I'm sorry, Pol. I'm just so happy you're awake."

"Pete. Where's Pete?"

Piper shared a look with Alex, the excitement and happiness they both initially felt, ceasing to exist with the utterance of those few words.

 **A/N : Well I did better at updating than last time! As usual thanks for the reviews. They are always welcome :-)**


	10. Dutch Courage

**Here is the next instalment. I've just installed Microsoft Word onto my phone so it's handy now I can type on my breaks in work which meant I could get this updated sooner rather than later. Thank you to guests, WB79 and ManveerlovesVauseman for reviewing the last chapter. I really do love reading your reviews.**

 **If you want to review again, then they will be much appreciated. This chapter is more like a filler but hope you enjoy it all the same.**

* * *

Alex leaned against the brick work, chewing the nail of her thumb whilst tapping her foot relentlessly against the pavement. Ever since her confrontation with Larry, her nerves were frazzled, and after bumping into him on her way out of the building, Alex just _knew_ he would be with Piper. Although she trusted Piper, she didn't trust Larry, not one bit, especially after knowing he was armed with a knowledge that had the potential to ruin her future. The thought of losing Piper caused her head to spin and a wave of nausea to come over her. She started to type out a text to Piper telling her to ignore anything Larry said, but seeing as she didn't know exactly what he knew, she promptly deleted it and started again. She decided to just reiterate what she had told Piper as she left the hospital room.

 **To Piper: I'm only a phone call away. You can do this Pipes xxx**

Once Polly had woken up, Alex suggested she should go home and leave the blonde to break the devastating news to Polly about Pete's demise. Although it was her own suggestion, she couldn't help but feel slight disappointment and rejection when Piper agreed with her.

 **From Piper: The doctors are fussing over Polly at the minute. Larry turned up so I think we are going to tell her everything together. I couldn't have done any of this without you today. Thank you for everything xxx**

Alex couldn't control the bile that started to travel up her oesophagus and she just had time to turn into the corner of the building and bring up the contents of her stomach. She leaned her elbow onto the wall whilst she held back her hair to prevent splashes of vomit.

"Holy shit, Vause."

Alex retched one more time as Nicky stood by her side, unhelpfully balking at the sight of Alex's queasiness. Alex stumbled back, and wiped the back of her hand against her mouth.

"All done?"

Alex leaned her head against her arm on the wall and waited for the nauseous feeling to pass before nodding her head in confirmation. She followed Nicky to the cab she had waiting, and following a warning from the taxi driver about charging them if she threw up on the back seat, they were on their way. Alex leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes just for a moment, trying to imagine the last 5 years never happened and she and Piper had never parted ways. She wasn't left in peace too long before her eyes opened with a jolt as the cab raced over a speed bump.

"Jesus, you trying to make her sick again?" Nicky snapped at the driver. "Asshole."

Alex smiled at Nicky's protectiveness, and punched her playfully in the arm.

"Thanks for coming for me Nichols. I didn't know what else to do."

"Hey, what are friends for? We'll talk about whatever it is back the flat ok?"

"Ok," Alex sighed, the feeling of dread returning to her body.

* * *

Alex handed Nicky the keys and she turned them in the lock, fiddling with it a couple of times before it actually opened. They walked up a flight of stairs that led straight into the living room.

"Right, pick your poison," Nicky stated, skimming her finger over the various liqueur bottles placed in a neat row on the kitchen worktop. "I figure we could start with something light like an alcopop or something. Prepare your sensitive stomach for the onslaught we are about to give it."

"Larry knows Howard Bloom."

"Absinthe it is," Nicky said without missing a beat, swiping up the bottle of bright green liquid and grabbing two glasses. She poured an even amount of the alcohol into each glass and handed Alex one, refilling it almost instantaneously as Alex downed the drink in one go.

"I was going to do the Czech Absinthe ritual but glad I didn't bother now if you're going to drink it that fast."

"Wouldn't you if you were in my situation?" Alex quipped.

"You need to start from the beginning. What happened?"

Nicky sat down on the sofa next to Alex and listened intently to the replayed the conversation she had with Larry, including the way his voice implied a threat. Nicky gasped in the right place, and poured them both another shot, which for Alex, knew that was Nicky's way of telling her she was well and truly fucked. Alex gripped her hair by the roots and screamed in frustration.

"He's going to fucking tell her Nicky. She's going to hate me. How could I be so fucking stupid?"

"Hey, hey, calm the fuck down," Nicky placed her glass down on the arm of the sofa and grabbed Alex's hands away from her hair. "How do you know he knows?"

"He knows Howard."

"That means fuck all, Alex. Howards was your lawyer, so what? Aren't they like doctors where they have patient confidentiality or some shit like that?"

"I don't know, I guess they could. Probably not but it's worth hoping, right? It's just all one big mess."

"Listen, they sounded like empty threats to me. You went to prison, so what? Even if he knows that it doesn't mean he knows the ins and outs of your case."

Alex took a sensible sip of her drink and her nerves calmed somewhat. She walked up to the worktop that was a couple of feet away from the sofa, and poured her and Nicky a whiskey each, ice cubes included. She returned to her seat, with the bottle and her glass and leaned her head against the cushion, resting her eyes while she let Nicky's words sink in.

"You could always get there first. Tell her before all of this spirals out of control."

"You don't think I haven't thought about that Nicky?" she answered without opening her eyes. "I haven't found the right time."

"Is there ever going to be a right time to tell the love of your life that your actions could have potentially gotten her sent to prison."

"Don't even say anymore Nicky," Alex raised her hand and opened her eyes. "I feel sick just even thinking about what could have happened. This is why I should have stayed away but it's Piper, you know."

Nicky nodded in understanding and opened the tin that was resting on the coffee table in front of them. She expertly rolled a spliff and offered it to Alex, tutting when she refused it.

"Under the thumb already eh!" she joked. "Jeez, you got it bad Vause."

Alex swilled the whiskey around the glass, ice clanging against the side. She couldn't help but agree. Nicky sat on the windowsill and opened the window, taking a drag of the spliff and blowing it into the air outside. As if wanting to prove to herself that she was still the same independant woman, Alex approached her and took a drag of the spliff, sitting down on the dining chair at Nicky's feet.

They allowed the few minutes of silence to contemplate their thoughts, the only sound being that of Nicky flicking the lighter on and off, something Alex learned was a nervous habit of hers.

"Piper's starting to get suspicious."

"About?"

"About me vanishing off the face of the earth every weekend."

"Fucking dyke drama," Nicky sighed, snatching the spliff out of Alex's fingers.

"I need you to do something for me. I need you to pretend to be me on the weekends."

Nicky choked as she inhaled at the same time as Alex's request. She flicked the smoke out of the window and jumped off her place on the windowsill.

"Oh what like," Alex watched in bemusement as Nicky pulled at her shirt with the pretence she had a large chest and coughed to deepen her voice. "Hey, girl. Sorry I, uh, fucked you over in Paris. Let me lick your pussy."

"Fucking dick," she slapped Nicky's arm, holding back a laugh. "I mean via text. All Piper wants is reassurance that I'm thinking about her."

"I don't know, Vause."

"I just need to buy some time Nicky. I swear once all of this with Polly is over, I will tell Piper everything."

"One weekend Vause."

"Three."

"Two. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it."

Alex sighed and shook Nicky's hand to seal the deal. It was better than nothing and she knew not to push it further as she wouldn't put it past Nicky to withdraw the deal completely. Alex was desperate, she just needed to buy some more time, or maybe a bit of courage.

The two women discussed the potential outcomes of the situation at length, the alcohol in the bottle becoming less and less with each depressing scenario. Alex picked up her phone and blinked a couple of times - a half arsed attempt at getting rid of the double vision that the drinking was causing her.

"Hey, hey Nichols," Alex slurred, tugging on Nicky's sleeve, a meagre try to wake Nicky from her drunken slumber, whilst still rambling about what she planned to do.

The bushy haired woman was sat in an upright position, her head lolled against her chest and the ash from her cigarette causing a patch of grey on her trousers. Alex's words were barely coherent to her equally drunk self, so she raised her head and asked Alex to repeat what she'd just said.

"I said, all of this time I thought I need," she hiccupped. "Needed time, but I didn't. I don't. Dutch courage is all I need."

"Vause, What the hell are you on about?"

Alex stumbled to the counter and swiped up a bottle of unopened vodka, and twisted the cap until it gave a satisfying click and opened. She took a large swig from the bottle and grimaced slightly as it hit her taste buds.

"Dutch courage is all I need to tell Piper everything," she raised the bottle in triumph.

"You're not going to tell Piper," she commented, licking the rolling paper, preparing a fresh joint.

"I am. I'm going around there right now."

"You don't wanna do that Alex."

"Ooooh my first name, you must be serious," Alex giggled, the weed having already taken effect.

"I am fucking serious. You do this now, like this," Nicky took a drag and waved her arm as if presenting Alex to the room. "You can kiss goodbye to your girlfriend."

"I'll probably have to do that anyway, let's be honest."

The lack of response caused panic to settle in the pit of Alex's stomach. Nicky's blatant avoidance to make eye contact or even answer her spoke volumes. She swayed to the door, bottle in hand, and walked out onto the New York city street, Nicky's voice calling for her to return washing over her.

Her phone repeatedly buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it, knowing it would just be Nicky trying to talk some sense into her. She stopped for a couple of gulps of her courage, and replaced the cap, placing the bottle into the inside pocket of her jacket.  
The streets were still buzzing with activity, although the attire of bodies swerving around each other had changed. Business suits and pencil skirts were swapped fancy dresses and clubbing gear. Despite it being a Monday, there was always something for the New Yorkers to do, always somewhere to be.

Alex stopped to light a cigarette she'd borrowed off Nicky, and found herself face planting the floor, her hand scraping against broken glass beneath her. Several people swerved to avoid the obviously drunken lady, and she clumsily helped herself to her feet and brushed down her outfit. She tried to recognise the street that would lead her to Polly's, and after a struggle, she eventually made it, the white picket fence slowly coming into view.

The house looked deserted from the inside. Alex looked for any signs of life, even just a glare from a television or the sounds of a baby crying. Undeterred, Alex bent down and picked up a small pebble, throwing it at Piper's bedroom window. She was triumphant on her third attempt, so she used her voice to accompany the sound of the pebble hitting the glass.

"Pipes!" the loud whisper stirred nothing in the dwelling, she raised her voice an octave. "Piper!"

She grumbled and took out her phone, swiping past the missed calls from her friend. She found Piper's name and called her a few times, cursing each time it went to voicemail. For the first time, she had an insight as to what Piper's weekends must be like. The feeling of being so detached from her unreachable girlfriend, causing a sense of loneliness and unease. She could understand why the blonde had been so short with her. After leaving Piper a voicemail, she hung up and slid down the door, resting her head on the frame as her eyes closed against her will, the grip on the bottle of vodka in her hand loosening.

She didn't know how much time had passed before familiar voices roused her from her drunken stupor.

"So you still think this is the woman of your dreams?"

"Shut the fuck up Larry and help me get her inside," Piper snapped, pulling on Alex's arm and encouraging Larry to do the same with her other arm.

They both struggled, Alex being a dead weight, still semi unconscious. She snatched her arm out of Larry's grip and fell the short distance to the floor.

"Just let me sleep," she grumbled, hugging the bottle of vodka to her chest and resuming her previous position of leaning against the door frame.

"Larry, can you go get her some water please?"

Larry looked at Alex in disgust and shook his head, wondering what the hell his ex girlfriend saw in in the intoxicated woman. He agreed nontheless and entered the house, leaving Piper the job of waking up the raven haired woman.

"Alex," Piper crouched down, and affectionately stroked raven hair away from Alex's face. She lifted her chin with her index finger and grabbed Alex's face in her hands, stroking her thumbs over her pale cheeks.

"Al, c'mon I need you to wake up so I can get you to bed. Do this for me, please?"

"Just fucking drag her up," Larry slammed the glass of water on the floor and roughly grabbed the unconscious woman by the arm, pulling her up to a standing position.

"Don't be so fucking rough with her," Piper pushed at his chest and draped one of Alex's arms over her shoulder before the taller woman could fall to the floor. "Just go home and I'll deal with this."

"You're seriously mad at me right now? After everything you've been through today, it should be _you_ getting drunk. She's a selfish, fucking asshole."

"Just _go_ , Larry."

Piper managed to drag Alex into the hallway, and she slammed the door behind her using her foot. She did a half spin and dropped Alex on the bottom stair. Her head lolled onto the side of the banister and Piper sighed in concern and frustration. She pulled Alex's shoes off and struggled slightly at the heel, falling back onto the floor at the force of her pull.

Piper stood up, placed her hands on her hips and frowned at the passed out, older woman. Never had she seen her in this state, so vulnerable and well, drunk. Alex had looked after Piper plenty of times in this state, so she really did owe her a favour, but that was when they were younger with a naïve view of the world. Deciding on her next move, Piper tried at wrestle the bottle of vodka out of Alex's grip, which was strong even though the woman was unconscious. A couple of sharp tugs and the bottle was released. Piper looked at the label and gasped at the smear of blood over the clear glass. Placing the bottle down, she took a look at Alex's palm and winced at the depth of the cut. She surmised it probably looked worse than it was and probably wouldn't need stitches but she couldn't be sure. Another trip back to the hospital was far from her plans of the evening.

"Should probably get it under some running water first," she muttered to herself.

She pulled on Alex's arm in an effort to pull her up, but failed miserably. Rushing back into the kitchen she filled a glass with water and searched through the cupboards for a first aid kit. A good 10 minute search later, and Piper found what she was looking for. She grabbed the box by it's handle and returned to the hall.

She stared in concern at the empty bottom stair, and followed the unmistakeable sound of retching. She knew after the tiresome and emotionally draining day that she'd had, Piper should feel hostile towards the figure hunched over the toilet bowl, but this was Alex and she could feel nothing but sympathy and concern for her.

"Shit, Alex," Piper said, placing the first aid kit a glass of water to one side.

She approached the very ill woman and crouched down next to her, stroking her back gently. She gagged at the smell lingering in the air and removed a spare bobble from her wrist, scraping Alex's hair into a messy bun.

"How the hell have you managed to get in this state?"

Alex rested her head on the seat of the toilet so she would be ready when the next wave of nausea would come over her. Piper wasn't sure if Alex had heard her as she closed her eyes and started breathing deeply.

"Nicky," she slurred. "Absinthe and Whiskey."

"You forgot vodka."

The mention of alcohol caused a very unpleasant squirm in Alex's stomach and she could feel the sickness making a comeback.

"Shit, Al. Maybe I should call an ambulance and we can get your stomach pumped."

Alex moved away from the toilet and rested her back and her head on the tiled wall. The wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sucked in a lungful of air.

"I'll be fine. It's my own fault."

"Here," Piper handed Alex the glass of water and she downed it in one, grateful for some rehydration even though she knew she would find herself with a dry mouth again in a matter of seconds.

"Thankyou," Alex whispered.

"It's ok. I do really need to clean your hand though so you're going to have to stand up so I can run it under the tap."

A look of confusion spread over Alex's facial features and she turned over the hand that wasn't holding the glass.

"Your other hand," Piper chuckled. "You must have been really out of it so I won't ask how you did it. Come on. Take my hand and I can help you up."

Alex downed the rest of the water and placed the empty glass onto the tiled floor. She managed to lift herself up with the aid of Piper's hand, and sat on the lidded toilet whilst her carer gauged the temperature of the water. Deciding it was just right, Piper pulled Alex up so that she was standing in front of the sink, her hand under the running tap. Alex hissed as the force of the water hit her cut.

"I'm sorry, babe, but it needs to be done," Piper said apologetically.

Once the water started running clear like it should, and not a shade of red as it mixed with her blood, Piper turned off the tap and dabbed at the wound, carefully drying it before she applied some ointment. She rummaged through the first aid kit and pulled out a gauze plaster, instructing Alex to hold it in place whilst she wrapped a bandage across her injured hand.

"I know it's late but I'm going to run you a bath ok?" Piper said, not waiting for a response as she poured some of the popular 'Popi' products into the bath to mix with the hot water. "You get out of those clothes and I'll bring you something to sleep in."

Alex smiled slightly to acknowledge she'd heard Piper. She couldn't nod her head due to the constant throbbing, and she didn't trust herself to speak just yet, incase she threw up the contents of her stomach once again. She slowly stripped herself of her clothing, and testing the temperature of the water with one foot first, she slipped into the tub, groaning in satisfaction. She turned off the running tap with her foot, and sank further down in the tub, as she kept a keen ear out for the sound of Piper's footsteps returning to the bathroom.

"I'll just leave the clothes here," Piper said, dropping the small pile onto the closed lid of the toilet. "Come back to the bedroom when you're done."

Piper bent down to retrieve Alex's dirty clothes and headed to the door to make a hasty retreat.

"Stay."

The blonde paused, and turned her head towards the source of the small voice. She half smiled at the vulnerability of a woman who usually prided herself on her strength and confidence. Gone was the tough exterior of Alex Vause. Her walls were slowly crumbling, allowing Piper to finally see the real woman behind the glasses.  
She threw Alex's clothes into the laundry hamper rather than take them downstairs to the washing machine, which was her original intention, and she kneeled down, crossing her arms on the side of the bath.

"Do you think you'll be sick again?"

"No," Alex thought after a beat, her words still slightly slurred. "I don't think there's anything left in me."

Piper smiled sadly and reached for Alex's glasses, putting them on the side of the bath. She pulled at raven hair and finally managed to release the dark tresses from the tight bun she'd created. Alex looked at Piper with quizzical eyes,

"So you can dunk yourself under the water," Piper explained. "I think you got puke in your hair. Keep your bandaged hand out of the water though."

Alex did as she was asked and allowed the water to cover her face, effectively soaking all of her hair in the process. She remained under the water for what felt like minutes until she was pulled up. She thought she was receiving a head massage, until some of the shampoo trailed into her eyes, causing them to sting. Piper noticed and used a wet flannel to dab at her eyes.

"Sorry," she muttered, reaching for the shower head. "I thought I would wash your hair for you so you could keep your hand dry. I should have warned you really."

"I think this is the first time you've washed my hair. I used to wash your hair all of the time so it's a nice change."

Piper smiled, and reminisced about the times in her happy place with Alex by her side. Their showers usually ended with one of them climaxing, but she was always fond of the memories when Alex would affectionately wash her hair for her. She loved the intimacy of the loving moment. Piper rinsed off the remaining shampoo and conditioner, and pulled the towel she'd left warming up on the radiator before wrapping it around Alex's shivering form.

"Your toothbrush is in the cupboard and I think you know where everything else is. Come to bed when you're ready."

Alex's heart sank at the exhaustion and disappointment in Piper's voice. She was sobering up enough to know the consequences of her drunken behaviour and felt a burn of shame at how wasted she'd allowed herself to get. She should have refused to fall back into her usual behaviour of drinking away her problems, and simply waited for some kind of contact from Piper whether it be a phone call, a text or even a knock on her door. She should have been there for Piper after the ordeal of her breaking the life changing news to Polly. With that thought in mind, she brushed her teeth that bit more aggressively, only stopping when her gums started to bleed.

"Fuck," she whispered, placing her glasses back onto her face. Double vision due to the alcohol consumption was bad enough but adding to that without her optical prescription was even worse.

Alex apprehensively opened the bedroom door, stumbling slightly into the door frame. Piper was curled under the bed covers, her back facing the wall away from Alex.

"Do you," she paused to hiccup. "Do you want me to go?"

"You're not in any fit state to go anywhere, Alex."

"I can sleep on the sofa then?"

Piper answered her comment by reaching her arm behind her and peeling back the covers. She didn't turn her body around, opting to stay facing the wallpaper that was partially lit by the streetlamp outside.

Alex took up the invitation and crawled into the bed and lay on the bed, staring up at the darkened ceiling, willing the room to stop spinning.

"Are you mad?"

"No I'm not mad," Piper sighed. She turned over onto her back, mimicking Alex's position. "I'm just exhausted from today, emotionally more than anything."

Alex internally cursed herself. Until that moment, lying in bed with the light of the mooning shining on Piper's facial features, she hadn't noticed the red rings around Piper's eyes, or the constant wateriness that they held. If anything , Piper should have been the one who was drowning her sorrows and relying on Alex to take care of her. The still drunk woman, turned onto her side, and waited, expecting Piper to breakdown at any minute.

The tears that she expected to accumulate at the corner of her eyes at any given moment, never came. Eager to pay Piper back for looking after her, Alex probed the situation in the selfish hope she could be a knight in shining armour again, the protector, the carer and not the vulnerable one.

"You ok?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

"You seem so far away, like your head is in a whole other place," Alex shuffled closer to the blonde and grasped the ends of blonde hair, twisting the ends in her fingers.

"It is."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, no," Piper muttered and turned over so that her back was facing Alex once again.

Alex closed her eyes and willed away the emotions that were threatening to overspill. Other than throwing up, the emotional turmoil that alcohol could bring out in her was probably her least favourite side effect that came after _and_ during a night of boozing. It was very unlike Piper to exhibit such closed off behaviour, so the fact she was doing it now cause Alex's mind to race and panic to set in. She sat up in the bed, her bottom half still covered by the sheet, and massaged her temples, the panic and worry starting up her dizziness once again. Alex felt the bed shift slightly, and slender fingers gripped her exposed thigh.

"Are _you_ ok?"

"Yeah," Alex lied, the throbbing in her head starting to worsen.

"You're clearly not."

Piper reached into her bedside drawer and handed Alex a tablet, instructing her to only take one rather than two as they were of high strength. Alex cooperated immediately, eager to escape from the onslaught of pounding from her dehydrated brain

"You should get some sleep," Piper said. "It won't be long until Finn's back, and now he's crawling everywhere we wont get a minutes peace."

"Where is he?"

"He's with Larry's mom and dad. Howard is dropping him off first thing so-"

"Howard?" Alex interrupted, an unsettling feeling settling in the gut of her stomach.

"Larry's dad. I swear if he makes any comment about mine and Larry's relationship, or should I say lack of, you might have to come down there and restrain me. Are you sure you're ok?" Piper rubbed Alex's leg, seeing her clam up at the mention of Larry's parents.

"There's something I need to...I guess what I'm trying to say is," Alex paused, Nicky's advice about being open and honest sooner rather than later swimming to the surface of her brain. Her _own_ internal monologue screamed for her to wait, it wasn't the right time. She was always one to follow her own advice, and lucky for Alex she'd sobered up enough to do that. "I'm sorry, for this evening. You shouldn't have to look after me especially with everything else that's going on in your life."

Piper smiled and tugged on the neck of Alex's borrowed t-shirt, effectively pulling her down so she was face to face with her. She pecked Alex gently on the lips and then her nose, and trailed her fingers down the side of the taller woman's cheek until they came to rest on her chin.

"You're my girlfriend, that's what I'm here for. If you had to get so drunk, I'm glad you ended up on my doorstep. It means _I_ got to take care of _you_ and to be honest, you were a very welcome distraction. If you hadn't been there, I would have probably come home, drank myself into a stupor and woke up with an even worse hangover than the one you're going to have," Piper teased and poked Alex's side with her index finger.

Alex groaned at the thought of waking up in just a few hours, the imminent hangover a reminder of her stupidity. Silence engulfed the room, and it wasn't long before Alex's eyes started to droop, the tiredness of the evening catching up with her once again. As she was on the cusp of her dreams, she jolted with a start as the unexpected closeness of Piper's body curling into her waist brought a loving smile to her lips. Alex decided there and then, that the hangover would definitely be worth it.


End file.
